My Adopted Poodle

Hi everyone,
I have a question for people who have a dog, I guess it could be any pet.
We adopted Miley in May at first she was scared of everything and everyone. She has gotten so much better but she still runs from my wife. Is she jealous?

When she first came home with us my wife was the only person she would go near. Her ears needed constant attention and my wife cleaned them often. But now Miley has fallen in love with me, if that’s possible. She will run from any one who tries to get near her. I can pick her up and take her to the wife or grand kids and she will tolerate them touching her but that’s it. Set her down and she runs under the comp desk or any where away from my loved ones.

I have been the patient with her but she will not let them near her, to the point of running straight into a wall or coffee table whatever she will flee.

On the upside she does love me. When I go to bed she jumps up there with me lays very close and allows me to rub her tummy and back her head ears and kisses my hand repeatedly. I have read where a lot of these puppy mill animals may never kiss their masters. She, after 9 months gave me my first kiss from her. I was so happy that she could love and most of all trust a person again.

She spent 4 years breeding and living in wire crates. She is really living the good life but it could be so much better if she would just let my wife pet her too.

This is very frustrating for my wife and now she wants her own Poodle and I just don't know how well that would work out.

Any suggestions? Any help would make me so happy, my wife loves this little girl and it’s returned with pure fear. I know my wife hasn't done anything to make Miley afraid of her but it breaks my heart to see the love of my life turned down by her birthday present. Thanks in advance

He is very loving, but very spooked about a lot of things. Poor boy came from a puppy mill and spent the first 6 months of his life in a crate in a dark shed. He has accepted other people though, and he is loving. But he has a problem if I move suddenly or try to restrain him other than with a leash or crate. Does your wife try to approach the dog or does she try to pet when she comes up to your wife?

I volunteer for a rescue and I see far too many of these dogs. A few ideas, have your wife do the care for the dog, feed her, take her out, etc. Some dogs freak out a bit if you try to pet them on top of the head. I think those dogs were mostly mistreated. Have your wife try to pet her (when the dog is ready, by reaching out with her hand palm up and scratching her under the chin. Also, you can have your wife sit on the couch and totally ignore her, even if the dog comes close. Usually a dog will come check you out even if they don't actually want your attention. Then she can sit there and ignore her and have a treat in her hand, held out to the side. One important thing with these two things is not to have eye contact with the dog.

One of my fosters had a really bad case of that. I would lay down on the couch to take a nap, and he would sneak up and give me a kiss on the nose, and run if I woke up. He would also run if I made eye contact. Once he got to know me a bit, he decided I was OK and I could do anything with him. It just took him a while to trust. The thing your wife has to do, and this is the hardest of all, is not try too hard for a while. For some dogs, trying too hard to get to know them is threatening to them, they have to come to you. Add to that your wife's frustration, which the dog can sense and the dog is even more scared. Patience is the key here.

You can also talk to your vet. The vet may recommend some Rescue Remedy or some anti-anxiety medication to help your pup get through this. I almost typed to help "her" get through this, but I didn't want you to think I was talking about your wife instead of the dog. :)

I'll take my wife to the vet and get her some doggie downers lol. You have a good idea there. It wouldn't hurt to have her, Miley, checked out anyway. We have the rescue vets report but that was a year ago almost. We got Miley to replace Dusty who we had 13 years I was devastated when we had to put him down because of renal failure. I thought Miley could fill the big old void in our lives but her past has scarred her. She will never have to worry about anything ever again and she will square with that in time.

It just pains me to see my wifes love go unanswered because some persons greed and neglect of one of the sweetest creatures on earth.

The dog knows when she is upset or frustrated. Dogs just know these things. So she has to be positive and ignore the dog at the same time. Positive energy and thoughts will go a long way. Its also possible that the dog wasn't exposed to very many women where she came from. A lot of the "breeders" are the way Miley is.

I almost forgot, Pictures Please!

This was her 2nd day in our home, 'scuse me her home! I like this picture only because you can see wariness, lack of trust and the pain of captivity she will never endure again.



This one was taken about 2 months ago. She had settled down a bit but still was very jumpy. When a guest comes over she barks and then goes into stealth mode. She scopes out said intruder from a distance where the perpetrator can't see her. Then Barks again totally giving away her position. At which point she relocates and the process repeats until said perpetrator gets the point and removes him or herself from her world. Goes away lol.

She weighs 8.5lbs and to me at least is one of the most loving animals I've ever known.

and take her with you to the couch. Have your wife sit next to you - wife is to make no eye contact or try to touch Miley. have you wife put her hand down, palm up on the couch and leave it there.

the purpose of the leash is to give you control and to prevent Miley from bolting. But while she is on the couch with you - you also make no eye contact nor pet her.

if Miley moves to sniff, get closer to wife, let her but again - no petting/talking to her. going to take time.

meanwhile - watch the DOG WHISPERER on National Geographic

a great idea! I have watched a few episodes of the Dog Whisperer and liked the simple techniques and attitude he uses.

Have you noticed that most of the dogs he works with are adopted? I should have said People he works with. I'll start dvr'ing that show and make more of an effort to watch it with my wife. I have always been around animals horses, chickens, minor birds, fish, dogs and cats and I am usually the first person in an area that they come to. Even the semi wild ones at petting zoo's and parks. Its strange.

The couch idea sounds good. but no reward when she does finally come to the wife?

maybe put a piece of treat in wife's hand.. this will entice Miley a bit and act as a reward

but watch dog whisper... and also check out his web site for more tips

It isn't a reward, but if she takes a treat from your wife's hand (while your wife is ignoring her), that is the first step. She has to move towards your wife to get the treat. Let her do it on her own, don't encourage her. Just let your wife hold the treat in her palm and ignore the dog in the corner of the room. :evil grin:

your wife gives the rewards so the dog starts associating "treats" with your wife..

of course if you want to speed things up, then I suggest your wife baste herself in gravy and lay on the floor... :evilgrin:

and oh yeah - close the drapes...

:rofl:

yeah I might just have to try the gravy gimmick tonight he he he minus the gravy though, Miley might like caramel syrup better he he he!!! Might just have to let Miley Stay in the guest room while the prep work is done.:bounce: :evilgrin:

Thanks for the ideas though.
And we will try the ones the pertain to Miley too! lol
Seriously thanks. :)

Be sure not to reward the "fearful" behavior with pets or affection. The "Oh, poor thing, it's all right" response that we all have to a fearful dog is usually (and paradoxically) the wrong one. Because the dog sees that as rewarding her behavior. Your wife should only give affection when Miley comes to her... and even then, as others here have said, at first it should be very low key affection. As in, if Miley actually takes the treat from your wife's hand (in the above scenario), just a few soft words, maybe a scritch under the chin, that sort of thing.

We have a dog who lived in a kennel for almost five years, Alfred The Great (Big Feegle). He still gets spooked by anything that changes or seems "different" in his environment. Even quick movements by me (who he trusts most, so far) will send him into a defensive crouch, although he doesn't run away anymore.

But, look at him now!



(We call this his "emperor of the yard" pose.

Matter of fact walks--even just around the house--might help too. By "matter of fact" I mean your wife takes the leash after you put it on (I'm assuming Miley won't let her put it on... so much the better if she will), and just walks away. No encouragement, just an enforced (by the leash) attitude of "I'm going this way and you are too." Then your wife takes the leash off, puts a treat down in front of Miley, and also walks away without any fuss.

Anyway, good luck with Miley. As others have said, it will take patience, but I believe most dogs can be rehabilitated, from even the most unloving, fearf-inducing history. It just takes time. Lots of it. We've had Alfred a year, and he's still not "there" yet, but he's WAY better than he was when we adopted him.

Alfred is beautiful. Seeing your dog after all he been through has put a big smile on my face.

any better?

Miley is warming up to my wife. At night she will let the wife per her but on for a moment.It seems like I am the pack leader and Miley's only concern is being in good with that role. I caught an episode of Dog Whisperer that dealt with this in reverse. The dog loved the woman and was fearful of men. I think we are having small successes. Miley still will not come to my wife and usually runs from her.