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Need some advice...have a grieving kitty.

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badgerpup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-14-08 07:34 PM
Original message
Need some advice...have a grieving kitty.
Last Monday we lost MacFeegle without any warning- he just...died.
Eighteen months old. Not a mark on him, I came home and found him on the floor, as though he'd been turned off midstride.

I can deal with this; it's part of the contract. We lose them...sometimes way before we're ready.

The problem is MacFeegle's buddy, padawan and 'baby brudder' Wimsey.
Wimsey did see MacFeegle's body, and sniffed him before I took him away for cremation (he might even have seen Feegle die), but I don't think he's made the connection that Feegle is gone.
He's been calling for him, looking for him, and today he was tripping me up, meowing at me. Didn't want petted, food and water dish all fine...HE WANTED HIS BUDDY...and expects me to do something about it. :cry:
MacFeegle brought Wimsey home, insisted I adopt him, and they've been brudders, best buddies, and sparring partners ever since.

How do I help Wimsey deal with this?

Esme and Riktor seem to be taking it more in stride...but I haven't had good luck with cats lately. MacFeegle is the third death we've had within the last year and a half...and I'm afraid they're becoming inured to losing a family member on a regular basis.
I don't, though...:cry:
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demnan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-14-08 08:10 PM
Response to Original message
1. I'm so sorry
I would try to find out what the problem was if there is an environmental issue or what.

The answer to your kitty's grief is to adopt another kitty, but I would investigate the problem first to find out more about why he might have died.
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blondie58 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-14-08 09:14 PM
Response to Original message
2. I am so sorry and I feel so bad for Wimsey
yep, the answer is another kitty- but like Demnan said- it would be good to know why MacFeegle passed away. Maybe it was something he swallowed? or who knows? Does your vet have any ideas. RIP ((MacFeegle))
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AZBlue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-14-08 09:26 PM
Response to Original message
3. My heart goes out to all of you!
:hug: You've all suffered a loss!

It will take a little time - just like us, they grieve and then learn to cope. Adopting someone else will help but it has to be the right one at the right time. In the meantime, a little extra love and attention will probably make everyone feel better!
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Feb-14-08 10:21 PM
Response to Original message
4. I'm so sorry. I've gone through this myself
with my cat Miro (tuxedo cat in my sig line, now deceased) about five years ago when I lost my beloved kitty Peewee to heart disease. Miro cried for Peewee all day and night, and kept getting under foot, looking up at me and crying as if to ask "where is he? Where did you take him"? I was so broken up about Wee's loss myself that I just couldn't take it. I read that there was to be a huge regional cat show in a town nearby where five rescue groups would be offering cats for adoption. I had hoped to bring home an older buddy for Miro (Peewee had been 15), but none of the cats offered "felt right". I was about to leave when a silver Maine Coon kitten (a purebred, not one of the desired rescue kitties) reached out of his pen and snagged my arm. The cage just had a "for sale" sign on it with no other information, but somehow I knew that that kitten would be the buddy Miro needed. I brought him home, and after a few days of half hearted hisses they became best friends:



I know that you've had bad luck with your fur friends in the past year, and maybe you aren't feeling ready for another (I wasn't), but perhaps if you go to a shelter and just look around you might get that same sense about one of them that I had about Oberon. I don't know what would have happened to Miro if I hadn't found him a buddy; he had refused to eat for over a week! I hope that Wimsey won't go down that route, but if he does, I highly recommend another male kitten as a possible solution.
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BrklynLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-15-08 10:15 AM
Response to Original message
5. ..and there are those who say that animals don't have feelings....
I know that when one of my dogs died, the other kept looking behind me whenever I came home. She was looking for the big brother that she had known her entire life...
It is heartbreaking when they mourn. There is no way to explain it to them.

Perhaps a new kitten would help....
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smokey nj Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-15-08 11:52 AM
Response to Original message
6. I'm so sorry badgerpup, this is so sad.
:hug: RIP MacFeegle :cry:
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Grateful for Hope Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-15-08 01:09 PM
Response to Original message
7. This is so incredibly sad
I agree with the other posters here that another boy kitty might be the answer.

Sending love to you and Wimsey.

:grouphug:
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yellerpup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Feb-15-08 02:56 PM
Response to Original message
8. So sorry for your loss of MacFeegle
It is heartbreaking for you and the other k-brudders. I don't know how to fix it, but our cats have such faith that we can fix anything, and we can as long as it can be fixed by love and/or food. Hugs and condolences to you and your family, feline and otherwise.
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Eurobabe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Feb-16-08 12:05 PM
Response to Original message
9. Oh, poor thing, and poor you....
Edited on Sat Feb-16-08 12:05 PM by 48percenter
How sad. Don't have any advice, other than give him plenty of love and skritches, I guess "cat mourning" has its own timetable. Anyone who thinks that animals lack a soul or don't feel death is fooling themselves. :grouphug: Wimsey and badgerpup. RIP MacFeegle.
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