Fear of Rejection and falling down

We all fear rejection but it is crucial to our moving forward to understand why. We must learn to move past the rejection in order to find our way.

Remember --- rejection is something EVERYONE faces --- daily; every time you DO reach out to another person there is a chance that you will be rejected. There is an equivalency between your ability to accept rejection/failure and your rate of successful endeavors.

Facing ones FEAR of rejection and going through it is a good thing. You had a positive result? That will build to the next positive result. But what if you are frozen in your fear? It will show in all aspects of your life: mental, emotional and physical fitness.



Prior to and alongside my art/garden design/horticulture interests I have training in ECE--- Early Childhood Education. I almost have a degree in Child Development. (One of the projects I let my fear of _success_ stop me from completing) I have been a child advocate in varying circumstances for 30 years. Mostly though, that part of my education helped me raise some pretty wonderful kids.

It has long been my belief that people should be required to have training and receive a license to raise children.

Some thoughts:

Fear of rejection is something pretty deeply built into us on the instinctive level. Early in life it's what makes us want to please our parents/tribe. It's why we both love and fear our parents. The approval of our parents/family/tribe helps to assure our survival. They hold the power of life and death.

As a child if we are physically abandoned, we will most assuredly die. If we are abandoned on the mental or emotional levels a part of us MAY die or at the least be severely crippled.

The essential feeling though, is that WE WILL DIE. Anyone who has abandonment issues can attest to the powerful nature of those feelings. And I’m not sure I know anyone who doesn’t face at least some abandonment issues.


So, we carry forward that fear of death and we do whatever we have to to survive. We are built to survive. And whatever gets us through we carry on with, until we find a better way. What we are working on now is finding a better way. We are working on becoming whole, healthy humans being. Yes Penelope, I meant to write --- humans being.


How to get there:

Have you ever been around a baby that is learning to walk? How do people respond to that child?

They get cheers. Good boy, keep going. Atta girl. You're on your way. You might fall down, but you get back up time and again. And it's likely you'll get farther the next time.

No one says WOW! You have that down. You are a perfect walker now. They are encouraged to keep trying until they have enough control over their feet, arms and other body parts to successfully circumnavigate their world.

What if our parents/family/ tribe responded like that to each new step we take on this adventure of our life? What a difference it would make.


Encouragement is what I get from the communities I hang with. Encouragement to keep trying --- even when I fall, I will get back up and try again. And believe me, I've fallen more than a few times in my life. But I keep going.


How many of you have family who tell you not to set your sights to high --- because they don't want you to be disappointed? It's out of love of course. YEAH, right. They just don't believe you can walk, let alone run. A couple of things at work there --- the big one being, it might force them to change. You might grow beyond them and just watch the process of homeostasis in action. Everyone else has to change. Even if it's just their opinion of who they believe you are. Sometimes your family and close friends will fight the changes you are making in your life, tooth and nail.

Isn’t it better to try and fall short, than to never try? If we learned to walk using that kind of discouragement we'd all be serious cripples.

And what are we learning about the body/mind connection? Body/mind/spirit all tied together? We are learning to heal the crippling aspects of our lives.

The best --- absolutely best thing I remember my father ever telling me was --- I don't know what to tell you, but I have confidence you will figure this out.

Some of us have family and friends who are supportive of our growth. Some of us don't. Find people who are not invested in you staying in your addictions. Make new friends. Develop new family. For some of us, that will be our best option.


As you move through your life, it doesn't matter how many times you fall down. It's how many times you get back up that will win you the prize of a whole life.

This has special meaning to me right now. Thank you for putting it into words, Bonnie.

It is very important to recognize that many motivations for people are fear based. One good way to get past this is to realize that when others reject you, that is often fear based as well.

Another way to work through this is to maintain a very strong aura. At times that is easier said than done, but removing negative energy from your energy field, and replacing it with positive energy is a good start. Fear of rejection just does not penetrate a strong auric field.

Donna Eden's book, Energy Medicine, has a number of interesting techniques for maintaining a strong auric field.

You can actually have someone test your auric field with applied kinesiology.

Here is how to do it.