** ATREYU's crossed over....send her blessings & peace.**

One of the Nieghbor guys across the street, where I had asked about their garage... came over while I was in the front yard and told me that he hasn't had the heart to tell me...

but the day she went missing, his roommate saw a calico dead on the street, probably hit by a car...belly still big - and the coyotes must have cleaned up he said, cuz she was gone next time he looked...
:cry: she didn;t even get to have her babies...and it was MY job to protect her... :cry:

anyway, so there it is, i am heartbroken and have to figure out how to get the kids to let go - and yet not to tell them everything...maybe she just got adopted by another family...maybe I can just get them a kitten from the shelter ...? i don;t know,

at least i did everything i could to find her...i wish the guy was wrong and maybe didn;t really see "her" but another calico, but I know that's not true and that kitty spirit come & go in life...but damn, damn, damn

FirstLight, I'm so sorry. I was so sure she was safe and okay. Peace to you, sweetie. And safe passage to Atreyu.

:cry:

Please don't blame yourself. You can only do the best that you can do. We humans aren't perfect. NONE of us is.

:hug:

She knows that you love her. I suspect that she'll be back to either visit you in spirit or in a new kitty body. Happy trails to sweet Atreyu until you meet again.

Much love and light to you, your family, and beloved Atreyu.

:grouphug:

You did your very best, and it's not your fault.

:hug: :hug:

I'm so sorry this happened. I hope there's another kitty that is looking for you and your family.

:cry:

I've been paying attention to your posts, but remaining quiet. You did your best, and you loved her. My heartfelt condolences to you and your kids.

I know it's hard, but don't blame yourself. Or at least forgive yourself. You didn't mean to hurt her. You were just doing what you thought was the best thing for her at the time, allowing her to get some fresh air and sunshine. Regrets are so hard to bear.

That was a cruel thing for your neighbor to do. I'm not quite buying his story of what really happened. If he would lie to you once, there's nothing to stop him from lying again. Many of us felt she was really okay. However, the second week, when you posted the second thread, I was getting an entirely different message. I hope you understand that I could not post those feelings. When I checked decoz at that point, it said, she is surrounded by white or a light source. That gave me chills. She's with the Light, FL. She isn't upset with you.

Hugs to you and your children. Let them know there are a lot of people who will remember Atreyu.

Oh honey, I'm so sorry!! I'm :cry: right along with you. :hug: :hug: :hug:

Don't blame yourself, though. You did take care of her, but you couldn't have foreseen that this would happen. She was an independent outdoor kitty and unfortunately they run a far greater risk of things like this. :(

Perhaps she will come back to you soon, if that's in the cards. She knows you loved her and I'm sure she was grateful for your care.

...before the kids get home. I don't necessarily know what happned, and still wonder if the guy just made it up to get me to stop calling for the cat... or if their dog got a hold of her and they were hiding it, or what.

I just know I can;t crush the kids like I have been crushed ...they are far less equipped to deal with it.... It's going to rain again, the thunder is rumbling outside, too...

still looking for her (or her spirit) to find her way home... i have to hold the space for her for a while yet...not ready to let her go, i guess...

thanks for the love here, :grouphug:

I know how much pain you're dealing with. I can't help but wonder if my dowsing was correct and she was in their garage the whole time and their dog did get her and now he's covering it up. Who knows?!?!?


I don't want to get your hopes up, but I also don't want you to give up. So, I just did another dowsing and you should check the vacant garage across the street. I asked several times about Atreyu and kept getting yes on all my questions. Is she still alive, Is she locked in the vacant garage, Is there an unlocked door? At least go and make absolutely sure she isn't in there. I don't want to make any claims of this information, but this is the results I received.

Best of Luck to you and Atreyu :grouphug:

i wonder if i should go ahead and take it and just let go of hoping she will come home....

It's only 5 weeks old, still too young...so it would be good to wait a bot and see if the guys are full of crap and they really don;t know what they were seeing...

And if she does come home you'll have 2 kitties.

Take the kitten! Shower all of the love you have for your lost baby on it! It will help the kids too, poor things. Hugs and love to them too honey.

Damn!

{{{{{FirstLight}}}}} My heart is with you and your family. Perhaps we felt she was safe because she is safe. Safe in the arms of the Mother.

Peace be with you. And Love... Sending Love & Light...

the breath was knocked out of me. It would have been so much kinder of him to have told you right away! This is heartbreaking, especially after what I wrote you this AM. I am so sorry First Light. DAMN is right, damn, damn damn!! HUGS JA

If he's telling the truth and Atreyu passed the same day she went missing, it was more cruel to let FL wander the neighborhood repeatedly, looking for her.

they tend to think she will come back too, and they agree that she never really went near the busy street...but stayed in the close part of the neighborhood...on our side of the cul de sac...

gonna check the empty garage again... and then let her be - if she is meant to come home, she will, in some form...
(the groundskeepers of the foreclosure say that there is nothin over there and won;t open the garage either, weird people)

my pendulum sems to think she is not dead either...and that she is still closeby

You protected your dear girl from beginning to end. I don't think any pet could have had a better person :hug: I certainly do send her blessings and peace and I hope a return or sign soon to let you know she's okay.

I just lost my own cat recently. I'm sending Atreyu light.

Poor angel.

I was so hoping for you to have her back home...

much & light to you and Atreyu..

:grouphug:

the heart to tell you" line are indulging their cowardice.

:cry:

But, blessings and peace sent.

I had that happen to one of my kitties once... I am so sorry to hear this.
:hug:

I'm sorry. :hug:

I understand everyone's dislike for the fact that he delayed telling her what he had discovered, but haven't we all done similar things at one time or another? I know that I've done less than the ideal thing in certain given situations and then, after deliberating on it, decided to be an adult and do the correct thing. This is what seemed to happen in this situation, in my opinion.

It would have been nice if he had told her right away, but at least he ultimately did the right thing. I'm sorry that it caused you such pain, FirstLight, but I hope that you're able to forgive him for not immediately having the courage to tell you what he'd found. To me, his trepidation about telling you shows that he has empathy, even if it ultimately caused more pain than it prevented. :(

:hug:

You and your kids gave that wee spirit your unconditional love which is a precious gift. I wish you had more time together this turn of the wheel but please remember you made her life better and more worth living for the time she was with you just as her sweetness brought joy to you and your kids :hug:

:cry:

so sorry.....our hearts are breaking with yours, FirstLight. Wish we could be with you to give you physical hugs of comfort.

You did your best. Atreyu knows that. Of that I have no doubt.

Poor little cat.
Sending you light and hugs!

I'm so sorry! I know she added joy to your life. Hugs to you.

this is truly heartbreaking.

you know...about a week or two before she went missing, i saw a black & white kitty on the corner dead, and called animal control to come pick it up before my kids saw it... i am wondering now if those guys thought it was MY kitty ...


My pendulum says she is still alive, but then again, my pendulum seems to be about as useful lately as a umbrella in a sandstorm...

Thanks for all your hugs and love here, i really am trying NOT to cry today.
...and maybe she has 9 lives after all and will surprise me somehow...

We have another cat, Shakti...who has been geting more affectionate once again...perhaps she is comforting us, or seeking comfort herself...sleeping in all Atreyu's spots, etc...

just missing my little kitty family, we were so excited to have babies ...

I also hope she is still alive but I really don't understand how the neighbor would come to you and lie.

I'm so very sorry for your loss, FirstLight. :cry::hug: :hug: :hug:

Even kitty cats have their own path and lessons they go through.
I have a story about a cat to share with you...and I hope it brings you some small measure of comfort as it did to me when it happened.
My beloved companion, Nicky, was a beautiful ginger cat. When I was "adopted/claimed" by him..it was nothing planned on my part.
I had stopped at a friends house and they told me of a bag of kittens they had found on the road. It had been run over and the mom cat and three of the babies were dead. Four little guys were alive and needed homes.
We went into the backyard and the kittens were screaming and running to the food dish..they seemed half-starved. All except for the littlest and skinniest and by far the dirtiest. Instead of running to the food, he ran into my arms and was shaking with happy and purring as hard as he could and climbing all over me.
I fell in love and took him home and for a few years, he not only bloomed but he was a magical cat.
He shared consciousness on a number of occasions with me as well as with my husband. It was just awesome.
Then one day, I went out to the front yard to call him in for breakfast. I was worried as he had not came in for supper the night before and it was the first time he had ever missed a meal.
I was standing in the front yard, facing the white wooden picket fence that bordered the overgrown with weed lot next door as that is where Nicky and his cat buddies all liked to play.
I suddenly was out of my body, hovering in the air about five feet above Nicky's body. It was all dark all around and he looked like he was laying in a little pool of light.
He was on his left side, his little legs sticking straight out like rigormortar was already set in. He was on the grey bare dirt with a little tuft of brown grass next to him.
I suddenly "heard" Nicky and he said to me.."Meowoo," (thats what he called me).."I can't get up to come home."
I suddenly "knew" he didn't know he was dead so I quickly thought back to him."Don't worry Nicky. We will find you and bring you home."
I felt his instant burst of relief and then I was back in my body still staring at the white picket fence.
I burst into tears and ran crying into the house and my husband and youngest son said "Don't worry, we will go find him."
My youngest (he was 14) jumped on his bike and went around the block looking for Nicky.
He came back with tears in his eyes.
He had found Nicky a block away..in the exact same direction I had been facing...and Nicky was laying on his left side, his little legs and paws all splayed out stiff and straight and there was a tuft of yellow grass beside him. My son said "Mom, I found him and he is exactly like you described."
He was found laying just a couple of feet off the side of the street and had been run over.
My husband took Nicky's blanket and they went and brought him home.
We buried Nicky beside the stone wall he used to love to sleep on by the edge of the wild place.
I morned him like I had lost a child for three months..and then one sunny morning...my husband shouted for me to come to the window of the bedroom.
Curled up in a sunbeam on the top of the stone wall was a golden ball of a ginger cat..looking exactly like Nicky.
I went barreling out the back door but when I got to the wall...there was no cat.
My husband said the moment I had turned from the window, the cat had jumped down into the little walled-in corner of the yard we called the wild place. He said he never took his eyes off the corner and no cat had left.
I checked everywhere...
no cat.
However, I personnel felt it was Nicky just letting me know he was happy and fine.
If a little cat can come through like that and communicate so clearly and still be aware of himself as a separate entity.....after his body has already been dead for over 12 hours...surely we also can know..we are not our bodies.
I have known I am not my body since I was a small child..always astral projecting...but it was nice to have it confirmed and it was wonderful to know my little friend and companion, Nicky...is still in the universe somewhere.
Since that day so long ago...I have had two more ginger cats come into my life. If one dies..another one soon appears. The one after Nicky I named Mr. Wizard and he was my companion for 18 years until he passed with cancer and old age..and my new little guy is named Tenchi.
I never go looking for them..they always find me.
I like to think it is the spirit I knew as Nicky in a new form..keeping me company still.
They all seem to be clones of him..right down to the dirty smudge colored spots on the nose and mouth. (I had thought he had gotten into oil somewhere first time I saw them and held him down and tried to wash them off :P poor little guy :P)
Get a new kitten right away..it will ease you heart and help to heal the pain and you will be helping an animal.
blessed be............

I'm hoping it helps our sister. (wish I could fly like you do!) Only in my dreams. I think she needs a new kitty too. You make me want to get one! JA

even if it did make me cry in my coffee!

I dreamed of Atreyu and her babies this morning, that they were somewhere and they could not get out and died trapped... saw the kittens ..there were 6... her spirit came to tell me that she could not get back to me, either... :cry:

I have always had cats that come back to me as well, shakti, my tortoiseshell tabby is very much a reincarnation of at least 3 other cats that have been my fierce huntresses... Atreyu was the first calico I had ever known, such a different personality!
I am sure he was named after the "Never Ending Story"...which means that she is more than eternal, she is a new definition, a reflection of myself and the changes the shift is bringing...
much of this transition IS about letting go and recognizing that those we love never leave us...they just change form.
but the love remains, and that is all we can count on...

i am weeping as i write this, thanks for the realizations that come from sharing our stories...blessed be indeed

I'm so sorry. Its so hard to lose our dear pet friends.

She knows you loved her. Sometimes it's just time for them to go on without us....

:hug::hug:
DR

I too can testify that one of my kitty spirits has re incarnated into 4 different bodies over the course of my life.

Her current form is sort of a peculiar story. More than four years ago, my current beau and his then wife adopted a cat who needed a home.

Then his wife passed on rather suddenly. He and I talked a whole lot after that but I rarely went to his house until much more recently. After a couple visits, I finally recognized my kitty in his house.

I guess she knew what was going to transpire in our lives long before we did. I thought that was more than a little cute of her to do so..

If Atreyu was indeed named for the protagonist is "the Never Ending Story" then it probably will be for you and your kitty spirit.

If not, it will more than likely be nonetheless.

Condolences for your separation which will more than likely be short term though I'm not trying to minimize such an extreme loss in any way shape or form.

:grouphug:

I've been checking and hoping that she came home to you and this is terrible news. I know how much your heart is breaking right now, but please consider taking that kitten. A new kitten that needs a home will help to heal your broken heart. This kitten needs you as much as you need her/him to help you through this awful ordeal. I've lost 5 beloved cats over the last 6 years and it is so hard to lose them. I know well the pain of loss and it never gets any easier as they go, one by one. Time does heal the raw wounds, and you will always have the happy memories of your time together. Please let us all know if you take the new kitten and if you do, I wish you the best of luck with him/her.