Practical Tools for Making Separations Part 1 by Jim Self

Paul attended one of my free classes in Idaho and stayed after the others left to ask a personal question. Paul had been planning a vacation at a golf resort in Washington State for some time when a new acquaintance invited himself to attend and share a room for the weekend. Paul is a very polite and considerate man, always conscious of the feelings of others, sometimes to such a degree that he allows himself to be taken advantage of. His weekend was only two days away and Paul was finally embracing the truth of the situation. He wanted no part of this other man. Paul said Glen was unkind, selfish and loud. Glen was not aware of boundaries and consistently stepped into Paul’s comfort zone. Glen was also quite needy, controlling and clingy around Paul, and Paul wanted to use this weekend for introspection and quiet personal time. He was in a quandary. How does one get his needs met without hurting others or retracting commitments? We sat down together for about 15 minutes to talk and work. I introduced the following tool and moved Paul through it step by step. We parted ways and I never expected to hear from Paul again.

The next morning, as I was scanning my e-mails, I noticed one from Paul. When he returned home from the lecture the night before, he retrieved a phone message from Glen. Something more important had come up in Glen’s life and he couldn’t attend the golf weekend after all! Interesting how energy works.
There are two great tools I teach to help separate your own energy from others. Tool # 1 below can be used in situations where you want to remove a particular someone from your mind and field of attention. It also works when you have moved on to the next item of business and found yourself still thinking about the previous one. Now you can make separations from others whom you find yourself thinking about long after you have left their presence. Many massage therapists and psychotherapists find this a helpful tool to complete the session with one client before they begin to work on another. Doing so keeps the therapist from accumulating and holding all her clients in her awareness. By the end of the day she won’t feel like an opossum with all her babies on her back, or a kangaroo carrying her offspring in her pouch. Keeping a person in your conscious awareness or even in your subconscious awareness does not benefit either of you.


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It is important for the success of this tool that you remain as neutral and uncharged as possible. Sometimes when you are releasing other people or beliefs from your space, uncomfortable memories or feelings may surface. Sometimes the physical body experiences sensations. This is a normal indication that the tools are working. It’s just energy and the more you can stay in the Center of Your Head, Ground and Run your Energy, the quicker those uncomfortable logs will be dislodged and swept away in the river.