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FirstLight, you are not alone. When I was about your age, after having saved 10%+ of my income for 10 years I had a *negative* net worth of $20K after St. Raygun wiped out the condo market with the stroke of a pen and Bush 1 trashed the economy. I spent 18 months out of regular work, living off a combination of free lance work from a former manger who now was in *my* old job and couldn't do it, free lance work from a former colleague who threw what little he had my way, and unemployment.
Then out of the blue, two managers who knew me threw a huge contract in my direction. Actually, it wasn't totally out of the blue. I was physically exhausted and *needed* the time to myself. And then as my free lance work began to dry up, I sat down and meditated that I was ready to return to regular work, at least for a 3-4 months. And I let that manifestation *go* out to the universe. One week later, the call came and the contract was initially for 3 or 4 months. 3 months into it, I thought I could stand it, and the manager who had hired me left and I was moved into her position. And within a few years, my mortgage was paid off, my old car replaced and I had savings up the kazoo.
And then came W. This time, not only was I dumped, but the former colleague sitting in my old job called me a loser. Oh, and along with his wife (a VP at Fidelity) is part of the identity theft ring that stole my identity. All my former friends pretty much disappeared. I was driven out of my home by a registered sex offender.
I've been out of work and forced to live off my savings since February 2002, except for 18 months at the local right wing christian wingnut tourism factory that literally poisoned me, harassed me in my home and assaulted my animals (before they happily went under). And my brief summer stint at Subway and now at the financial company which is its own kind of hell.
As you know now I'm back at school trying to learn something that will keep me gainfully employed in a decent industry, only to have been lied to and cheated by the school advisor. Lied to and cheated by the National Chain realtor. Driven to sell off gifts this past summer to buy some hay for the horses. And now being screwed over royally by a lackey company to "the Masters of the Universe who are kicking me from all directions, every chance they get.
I have learned the hard way that I have no friends locally and can trust nobody except my dentist and 2 local farmers. My neighbors are mostly petty thieves. The state university is cheating middle-aged people to pay for the educations of the young, who go for free, get the internships, the grants and the loans. There is literally nobody locally that I can talk to beyond polite pleasantries. Nobody who "gets it."
We are all very small piglets in this war, because that is what it is. A war between the so-called "Masters of the Universe" and everybody else. The trillions in zero-interest bank loans that were supposed to go to business loans, mortgages, education loans, etc. are instead being hoarded by the banks and used to further gambling. The rest of us a literally left to fend for ourselves for now.
This past decade has been a crucible. We will get through it, but we will not be the same.
Please remember this. Maybe the girl scout moms will reject you. Maybe they won't. You won't know until you give them a chance. If they reject you, then they aren't the kind of people you want to be around anyway. And in that case, better that you know than wonder.
Same with work. If they reject you, it is their loss. This past decade has been a crucible. We will get through it, but we will not be the same.
It's hard, but try to be grateful for what you have. Roof over your head, warmth, food, family. And time. You do have time...
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