Holding the Vibration: one answer to MysticalC's question

Thought about this for a while because I'd forgotten how deeply implanted holding the vibration has become in daily life.

During my NDE and detached from the body, seeing the absolute sadness in my face and thinking, "poor dear," the one thing that I came back with was that I let something easily slip away. Something simple: I allowed traumas, trials and tribulations win.

What I found in my Death is that death is easy, it is comfortable and the ultimate peace of mind I've ever experienced. Really, the best place to be :D Funny, because while alive now, it is that state of being that is a goal of every day, every minute. I was given the choice to come back, and I felt no judgment whatsoever if I was ready to throw in the towel.

I don't have it all together enough to express this change in outlook on Living, but I still get overwhelmed and lose myself in frustration and helplessness because those emotions must be expressed and released. But those emotions are not the point of living to me. It is despite the Three Terrible T's when I must put my money where my mouth is and employ my spiritual beliefs, because it is through this state of grace or near grace where the answers flow.

It's seems like a big test y'all. Why? I don't know. But I do believe that I know what our natural state of being is and for me, hard and devastating times are not when to let balance and joys slip away or let them stay gone for too long :grouphug:

... being aware of what you're doing and why. I'm doing that now with what I eat and it's hard as hell. I love going off into a sugar-sated unconsciousness. Being aware that I make choices of what I eat every day sucks. And it's hard. But wandering around unconscious has gotten me nothing but sadness. I'm down to two pairs of pants that I fit into. Closets full of clothes and I can wear two pairs of pants. Just can't do that anymore.

KOB makes a good point - it's easy to get lost in lower vibrations and mundane crap. But that does none of us any good at our work to evolve while we're in the physical.

How do you guys stay awake and aware? I'd love to hear.

For me, I attempt to stay mindful of whether I'm making choices -- feeling things, doing things -- based on love or fear.

:loveya:

Kind of Blue,

Did you tell us about your NDE? If you did, I don't recall it. Do you think you can tell us more about it or maybe point us to where you wrote about it earlier.

I feel I needed to hear this message. I'm having problems facing a problem. It has turned into a big block for me.

when I found you guys here! It was like a relief because I knew you'd understand and not laugh at me.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=245x80245

I felt the presence of the Lady once in a dream. She came to me in the form of Mother Mary. I was at a real low point of my life. She radiated love --- no other way to describe it.

How do you feel these days? Do you still feel this detachment?

And I don't think it will ever go away.

It's funny, I have an Alister Crowley(Satan) Facebook friend I've never communicated with - bear with me, it's kind of convoluted - and once speaking to IHAD on Facebook, she asked perhaps there is a purpose for this to pop up. I hadn't revealed this but there were so many other references to Satan or the devil just hitting me all at once, and I knew somewhere in there was a message.

After I calmed down, it hit me that it's not Satan but a real craving to go deeper that I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of really letting go of all things worldly, husband and family and friends, and it breaks my heart. I love my life as it is now and worked hard for it. But I can't shake this feeling of needing days of complete silence and contemplation. "Be Still and Commune with Your Own Spirit," is a constant mantra in my head. But all the references to you know who has stopped :)

I also remembered that there is a Buddhist monastery very, very close, high up in the mountains that are literally in the clouds. My husband and I picked up a hitchhiker who turned out to be a monk on his way there about 3-4years ago. He said that the place is opened to three-four days a month for people like me to come. I'm going to start there.

I intend that you find exactly what is needed for yourself. For the Highest and Best Good of All.

Your intention means a lot to me :) :hug:

I've never had a NDE, but I have an absolute knowing of the peace and bliss that is our natural state. I rarely feel it while incarnated, but I had a period this summer where I felt it quite often.

I don't think that you should feel sad that you feel attached to those who you love. Did you notice that you mentioned people when you mentioned "worldly"? You didn't say your house, your car, food, etc. I think that it's wonderful that you feel "attached" to the people in your life. They are your soul group! :D

I think that you just need to find a way to find balance. I'm striving for that myself right now as well. I feel absolutely overwhelmed by even the smallest things. I resent obligations -- even small ones. I think that it's because it takes me out of the state of "being" and forces me to be in the state of "doing", which is not my default, preferred state.

Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to appreciate every moment that you have with those who you love. Also, find a daily practice that will allow you to "be" the "You" that you discovered you really are when you had the NDE. We're not here by accident. Keep pouring into the world the love that you are. I feel it so strongly from you. The world needs you, and "You" know it.

:loveya:

and mean the world to me, as I feel all of you are part of our same soul group.

You sure sound like an NDEr to me, especially preferring the state of being and awareness. It was Dover who referred me to this account http://www.near-death.com/nightingale.html. I joined Juliet Nightengale's site, she has since passed away, and it was there that I met a psychologist developing a course for NDErs. So many accounts of that blissful conscious state and the quest to integrate it.

Yes, kindness to one's self must be factored in more. Thank you for that. :hug: :hug: :hug:

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS!!!!

:yourock:

:hug: :hug: :hug:

:loveya:

And you know that I mean it :hug: :loveya:

series of books really give insight into the process of death and before.

http://www.spiritualregression.org/

Remarkable coincidence that led me to them years ago when going through a rough patch. I met a woman here in California in a bookstore in my new neighborhood whose car broke down on the freeway. Long story short, she is from the same state, town and went to the same university in the D.C. area, and moved here 10years before me. We exchanged numbers and she said before we parted, I bet there's nothing wrong with my car but I'm supposed to be here to tell of Newton's books. Spoke to her the next day and there was Nothing wrong with her car.

Those books really helped me A LOT. Thanks for the link - I see he has a new book out!