I need a blessing

A friend of mine is going through the divorce paper thing. That was one nightmare I hope never to repeat (I'll stay single).

She is having a hard time putting her signature on the line. This marriage has been over for more than a year.

I want to send blessings and hopes for new beginnings. imnsho, she needs to let go of this.
It is creepy for her to continue to hold on to something that is never going to work out, plus the fact that she is screwing up the ex's life by her refusal to take the final plunge.

These are the situations I try never to get too close to.
But I'm in this one, and I want to burn a candle or read cards or SOMETHING to help facilitate her passage through the inevitable loss.

Is this right for me to concern myself with this?
If so, what can I do?

Advice, please.

But the solution is up to her. All you can do is be there for your friend, as she goes through the pain and loss of signing away a part of her life. Don't make the mistake of taking on her pain and confusion; you, instead, need to diffuse. Light a candle for yourself - a yellow candle, preferably, and meditate on the flame (don't let it get too bright in your eyes, though). As you meditate, give up your thoughts of control and convert it to soothing feelings of panacea for your friend; let this flow from you to the candle and back to you, until you feel it is like an electric current, recharging you.

After you have done this for awhile, you will be in better shape to help your friend deal with the issue. Although, actually, it is really something your friend needs to do. If she is agreeable, have her light a white or yellow candle and do the same thing, allowing the energy to flow through her and sustain her until she has the strength to sign.

are telling you otherwise. But, I agree, she needs to work this out herself. I think counseling would help her. Encourage her to seek it out.

what I didn't mention in the OP was that I'm on the (ex) husband's side. He and I are roommates, and a very confused 'relationship'. I've met her. She stayed at our house for two weeks this summer. She is totally bogging things down. She won't sign! I'm sorry for misleading in the OP. He is my friend. She is not. But I still wish her well. I've been in a similiar situation... I did not want to let go. Had to. Face reality. I want to go meditate on this. I cannot just keep running it through my mind. I have to let it go. That's why I asked for ritual suggestions. Oh, I guess it is more for me. og. Yes, there's the truth. I have to let this go.

This advice is less than neutral, since I've been that person.

If you want to send positive thoughts her way, don't do it with specific intent, other than wellness and wholeness for her life. Don't be so quick to judge that "she needs to move on."

You don't know what issues she is working through. When my marriage failed, I was told frequently that first year to "move on." By impatient people who didn't "get" my grief.

They didn't "get" that my husband was also my best friend; that we'd been friends since childhood, and I was not just losing a spouse, but one of the few people that had known and loved me my entire life. They didn't get the part of me that doubted myself; that thought if HE couldn't love me, nobody could, because he knew me better than anyone else. They didn't "get" the incredible path I intuitively saw laid before me; I was 40 years old and saw another 40-50 years ahead in which no person would ever really know me, and there would be no partner for any of life's joys, sorrows, or chores.

I did move on. But tears are now dropping on my keyboard just typing about it. I haven't forgotten the process I went through, or the way people who impatiently told me to "move on" made me feel.

.. this is what I was looking for. I was having a very hard time sorting out MY desires from what is best for her. And I want to bless HER life in this instance. She stayed over at our house (roommate situation) for a couple of weeks this summer. She had to relocate to a distant state... for some reason. I don't dig for information, so I don't know all the minute details. I have overheard one side of conversations that indicate this is hard on her.

What you say makes all the sense in the world. I'm sorry you had that pain. My last divorce was also when I was 40. I never thought I would fall into the divorced at 40 pattern. But it happened. Now 10 years later, I sometimes think I'm still not "over it". I did move on, though. Grew a lot. Found out just how much I am able to take care of myself. Horizons have broadened. And it still hurts sometimes.

Thanks so much for your insight. Exactly the perspective I needed.

:hug:

I hope that she will gather the strength to let go, and move on with her life. I feel for her, letting go is so terribly difficult...