Just - why do people have to be so mean?

I know there is a good answer to that question, but somedays...I just want to know, simply,
why.

It's not so hard to be understanding and nice, is it?
Is it really?
Am I missing something?

Any vibes you can spare, thank you...we appreciate it.

:loveya:

I can't answer the questions about why people must be mean. Some people do seem to relish living this way.

I'm sending energy and light your way.

The reason I am so upset/angry/hurt is not for myself - it is for those in my life that this person is hurting by saying and doing the things that they are doing. For myself, when someone is not nice to me, it really does not end up making me mad or even hurting much - I am able (per itsjustme's post; good example of my thought processes) to let it go and understand where it comes from. But when it comes to people I love, I don't have the same tolerance.
Leo protectiveness and loyalty, I guess! Lol. I don't have a lot of self-control when it comes to that. I feel like ripping someone a new one, and now I feel guilty for being so angry. Sheesh.
Arg.:crazy:

I'm very protective of the more vulnerable people in my life. There are some good aura strengthening exercises in the book Energy Medicine by Donna Eden. Being able to resist reacting to bullying or mean behaviour is all about being energetically strong. I prefer those, but EFT techniques can also work.

Just tap on Emofree acupoints while saying--"Even though X chooses to exhibit inappropriate controlling behaviour toward me, I am energetically strong and completely and wholly love and accept myself." This won't necessarily work right away. Also, it is helpful to use the sign language mudra for love and gratitude over the chakras. It will at least temporarily clear them if you say a good affirmation involving love and gratitude at the same time.



http://www.emofree.com/articles.aspx?id=31

Am doing right now.
Just the reminder I needed!!

ETA: Shallah's affirmations:

"I release anything less than my highest Light.

I release all responsibilities that are not truly my own."

we live in a very (very) broken, damaged society. Someday, things may be less broken, but today...isn't that day, unfortunately. Vibes for you.

Please read my reply to IHAD..I do know I need to handle this in a more constructive way.
I'll get there.
:hi:

I have tried to figure this out too. Generally it is a result of some combination of things--1--energetic imbalance, often involving the heart chakra, 2- a way to deal with stress in the life, and 3--the resulting habits formed by 1 and 2.............

Being mean is essentially a manipulative emotion. Think about it--a person that is mean is trying to evoke a response, and, in doing so, can exercise control over other people.

This is all extremely difficult if you can't avoid the person, particularly if related to them. But, if you understand why it is happening, and the source, it at least puts the behaviour in perspective. I used to get upset at mean, or passive aggressive attacks. Now I just do a whole lot of rolling of my eyes. People that act this way are truly stuck in patterns. Avoid them, or, if impossible, strengthen your aura and protect yourself..............

"Mean Streak" is a particularly appropriate phrase, because there are many people that have this propensity that can keep it under control in most circumstances. Then, once in a while, when that person is under some sort of stress, the streak is out in full glory. This is particularly manipulative behaviour, because it is unpredictable, and the receiving party is on edge a lot. And, a lot of children grow up like this, unfortunately. Then, they may end up patterning their behaviour after that particular adult in their life.

Sending vibes...

Please see my above reply to IHAD..I do agree completely. I always try to understand..some days are better than others!
Thanks for the insight.:hug:

differently is that I think that all mean people aren't out for a response -- some of them want just the opposite. Some of them just want to intimidate others so that they can get their way; they're basically bullies.

I totally agree about the "mean streak" comment where a person's always on edge around someone because they never know when they're going to let loose. The term "loose cannon" is very apropos for this type of person.

I agree with that, and also that it's about control. Many years ago (30?!) someone told me that if you're dealing with a person who is nice most of the time, but a bitch some of the time, know that she is really a bitch, and just faking the niceness.

Today, though, it seems as if culturally we are encouraging meanness as an acceptable way of getting what you want. Whether your cutting in line, psyching out the other player, or pushing to improve the bottom line, it seems as if more and more people resort to those tactics because, in part, if you're not doing it too, you're going to lose out.

So you don't lose whatever that petty thing is you're trying to get, but you lose your humanity, your soul, your dignity, your grace, instead.

Oy, what a world.

"if you're dealing with a person who is nice most of the time, but a bitch some of the time, know that she is really a bitch, and just faking the niceness."

This is exactly what happened. Was it Maya Angelou who said that when people show you who they are, believe them?

Well, *sometimes* people just can have a bad day. But this type of behaviour is really harmful. Think of it in the context of a parent acting lovingly to a child 90% of the time, and then 10% of the time just screaming and accusing for no reason (or because they are drunk). It breaks my heart to think about it.

We live in a winner take all, competitive culture, which means a lot of people will get left behind, and people will be mean to them. All those reality programs on TV are a perfect reflection of this. I read someplace that when teaching aboriginal children games, like soccer, the children changed the rules of the game so everyone would win. Their society includes everyone. Our society it seems wants to have a few kings and queens at the top with everyone else worshipping them. Those at the bottom or who are sinking to the bottom are treated very shabbily because they are regarded as losers.

but I will send a hug.

:hug:

I don't know why others think it's necessary to be mean, especially when sitting behind a keyboard. They say stuff to other people that would get them a lot more than they bargained for if they did it face to face. I hope that the people in your life realize that maybe you need a little kindness, too.

Julie

Oh,they do (people in my life). This person really hurt husband, and I am livid about it.
Ommmmmmmmm.......... ;)
:hug:

Add me to your group of :wtf: I think people with gentle spirits are especially vulnerable for some reason unknown to me. Glad to see you :hug:

Good to see you too!
I guess if I knew everything (or remembered it all) I wouldn't be here. Duh. :crazy:

and intent vary. I think that the acid test is did you or did they consciously think about being unkind and actually consciously want to hurt. I think about the movie The Natural, which of course is rather broadly painted but does emphasize that there are people in life that wait and hope that the natural will strike out and then there are people like Glen Close who stand up and say I did not want to see you fail. I think that a bully hopes you will fail and someone who is kind wants others to succeed.

and have figured out that I don't have the tools to deal with it.

I'm learning, but it's not easy and definitely not safe-feeling. I'd imagine that some are not as lucky as I am, so have compassion for their plight.