While we're on the topic of dreams...

on November 15, 2006, my ex-husband committed suicide. I had lost touch with him but his brother got back in touch with me. Ex and I had parted friends but had lost touch. Shortly after learning of his death he came to me in a dream. I went to an apartment building in what felt like New York and knocked on a door. An old non-english speaking woman led me to a room and had me sit on a sofa. Then she brought him in. He looked nothing like I remembered. His head was shaved and he was skinny and just worn out looking. He kept telling me he wanted me to come with him and I told him I couldn't, I hugged him and left. I attribute his appearance to his suicide and perhaps what he looked like post-autopsy as he had shot himself in the head.

Then, this year on November 15, he came to me again. This time, I arrived at his house somewhere in Florida. He was much more pushy about me wanting to stay with him. The Ex got very upset with me, throwing a tantrum. In this dream, my current husband appeared and kept urging me to come with him which upset the Ex even more. I kept telling current hubby to give me a few more minutes with the Ex to calm him down and the current husband walked off toward the car like he was leaving, so I wrapped things up quick to catch up with the current hubby. It was incredibly disturbing. In the dream I felt desperate to calm him and help him but I could not give him what he wanted which was to stay with him.

I didn't realize that it was the anniversary of his death, he hadn't crossed my mind at all, until I was standing in the kitchen making coffee the next morning and the realization of the date hit me like a lead balloon.

I've had some folks tell me that he is trying to move on or doesn't know where he is, and he is looking to me for help and that I should help him go to the light or find peace somehow. I'm interested in other suggestions. I'm sure he will be back. I am also concerned with his insistency of wanting me to go or stay with him. Your thoughts would be most appreciated.

Thank you.

When my beloved uncle suddenly passed away a few years ago, he constantly visited my mother (his sister) and it was clear that he was lost. In her dreams and visions of him, he was really very sad and didn't know what to do. But it was clear that he knew that he was no longer physically alive, saying things like, Don't get rid of this or that, like he was going to need them. So I wonder if in your dreams of your ex, whether you have the chance to let him know that he is dead? I think it's a start in accepting his new reality. It seems he is still ensconced in the perhaps confused mindset just before passing. After about a year, my uncle started to realize that his visits were disturbing his sister and he said, I'll look for Baba (their dad who died years before).

Finally, he came back after a long while and told her, I found Baba. Since then he's come back with just a smile or loving words and totally changed in appearance; no longer disheveled. Now both he and their dad visit together just to show they haven't forgotten her.

My husband has had to tell the dead twice that they were indeed dead. Once to a high school friend, who had a crush on him and constantly visited. She wasn't shocked but very sad that she was upsetting him. After that she never came back, to him at least. But that's another story. The most recent was his ex-wife who died 4 years ago. The ex-wife was really shocked and upset when he told her. She's visited me once to thank me for caring for her daughter this past summer. It was a shock to me since she avoided me at all costs in life and refused to acknowledge my presence.

Anyway, if you haven't, see if you can summon up the will in your dream to let him know and that it upsets you to see him confused. Talk to him while you're awake, while lighting a white candle urging him gently that that he must open his spirit to see that light on his side. And then ask your Guides to help him. I hope this helps a little. :hug:

how wonderful that you were able to help these people find their way across.

experiences. But the thing I've noticed was that, just as in the movie Ghost (one of my favorites), when Patrick Swayze says it's the love, it's the love you take with you, I think these souls still have that over riding love for us that pulls them back or it's the only connection they feel they can hold on to. Since love is still there and when they fully comprehend, the last thing they want to do is to disturb, unsettle, or upset us.

I know the first time that my husband's ex-wife appeared, he was truly happy to see her and hugged her (though they had a monumentally bad marriage). But in this first dream, she pushed him off and said, What are you doing?, though she was the one that came seeking him. The second time, she came to the house she told him, I understand now and hugged him with pure affection before saying good bye.

I really wish that she could visit her daughter because my step-daughter wants it so badly. :cry:

was that I was psychic (grand trine in water signs) and she encouraged me to study that in myself and suggested I start reading the tarot. She quickly got me reading at psychic fairs (back in the day when they were happenin'). She also told me that I was a medium which scared me. I had never had any experience at that point; but when a man I was working for died, he became the first to visit me in a dream, or rather I went to see him. The common thing is that I go to their home or their "place" and knock to be let in. That really stands out to me. With my boss it was a very pleasant, positive experience. He let me in his house and he was dressed very casually, no shoes, but socks and even fixed me a cocktail. He sat me down and told me what a good job I had done wrapping up his business and we hugged goodbye and I left. The dreams of the Ex aren't pleasant. That's the second time someone told me to speak to him while awake and light a candle; and perhaps he doesn't know he's dead although he was apprently quite intent on killing himself so I would think it would not be a surprise to him now. Perhaps I am ready for him to pay me another visit so I can be more blunt and have more control in the dream. There are others I wish would visit me, my grandma would be nice, but she never has. I don't mind good visits. You learn things.

I understand what you mean and it is curious. My husband's ex-wife had ovarian cancer and knew that death was close, but there was time to wrap up all her life's business and made plans for the care of the kids. But in the dream when she rejected the hug and my husband explained he was happy to see her doing okay in death, she reeled in shock, as if she didn't know.

Yeah, visitations can really be cool. When my mom's dad died in Africa the summer I was 16 (I didn't really know him), he visited me that day and scared me to death; seeing this old guy smiling at me, who was visible from the knees up. When I told my parents, my mother knew it was he after constant prodding about what he looked like, how tall, what he was wearing, on and on. But what I learned was that he told my dad at the airport the day we left the continent was that he would never see me again (I was three). The other thing I learned was, Wow!, this man loves me that much and with all his will came through to let me know. I'll never forget it and it's sustained me when I've thought in the past that life is too hard.

Sometimes I think they do visit but we're too oblivious to see. Many, many times, we see orbs just twinkling about and we know someone is with us, but send out that they can stick around if they're here in love and for our good.

Interesting you say you knock on the door. That's the way my husband has been visited by his ex-wife and his high school friend. There's always the knock on the door, he opens it and there they are.

The white candle suggestion, that just popped into my brain. I thought it was too far-fetched to include that I strongly felt that you should get a white candle that burns for 7 days. But since you say you've had the suggestion before, maybe you should try it.

Like you, my mom is a natural medium but she's scared of it too. I just think she'd be more at peace if she just accepted that aspect of herself. I just think Christianity has really set up a wall that's difficult for her to crack but I chisel away at it nevertheless :)

before moving on.

Perhaps you could try and offer him support by listening to why he is "stranded" between the planes of existence. Let him know there is nothing to be afraid of and that there will be others on the other-side who will be more than willing to help him in the after life.

Perhaps he is confused by his willingness to give up on his life and why he chose death instead. Maybe he needs to confirm his actions to you.

It's never easy trying to figure these things out.

Good Luck, FloriTexan

BTW: we are sort of neighbors, I'm in Tarrant County.:hi:

:hi: Back atcha! If he needs to confirm his actions to me that would be a first LOL! I laugh but I suspect he regrets or feels bad about how things ended between us; but we were just young and I get mad fast and get over it quickly and rarely hold a grudge--natal Aries moon is the reason for that, so I'm told.

If it was me this is what I would do. I would prepare myself by grounding and calling in my guides & allies asking for help with this. Then I would ask the confused soul's guides & higher self to come and help him. Then I would send Light & Reiki to the guides & higher self for them to pass on to the soul. I am too apt to pick up other people's energy to send directly plus sending to the guides & highself will make sure the energy handed on comes at a rate that suits the person. Even if the person does not immediately accept the energy the guides & highself can hold it until the person is ready and willing to accept. I send until I feel a change in the person, less stress, fear, confusion, etc. or as time permits. Sometimes the person only needed a little bit of light to clear the confusion and others need more light. When I am done I would thank all beings for their help.

I hope this is of some hlep. My feeling is your ex is confused and discombobulated even tho he chose his death. Some are in such turmoil when crossing over they can't see those waiting to help them, can't see the way and sometimes get stuck in the emotional state they were in keeping them from moving on. Time is different over there so while years have passed here it probably has been a much shorter time from his point of view. He found you because your energy is bright as your awareness is open on the psychic level plus the old bond of affection you shared. He wants you with him as you are the only familiar thing he can contact right now just like Linus wants his security blanket. Now is not your time as symbolised by your current husband insisting you come home with him.

These are my thoughts and I hope you find something of use amongst them. In any case take care of yourself and don't try anything you are not truly comfortable with.

namaste