World of Warcraft True Christian Guild Charter
Conquering the Virtual World for Christ, One Pixel At a Time
Convert or Die is a World of Warcraft Alliance Guild on the Gaping Orifice server. The guild was formed in the year of our Lord 06-06-06 by concerned Christian students at the Landover Baptist Junior High School Academy for the Saved. The Guild leader is Billy Houston (age 16), President of Landover's Senior High youth group, and an experienced virtual evangelist. We currently have over 300 level 60 members ranging in age from 9 to 43. We also understand there are Christian guilds on other servers who are taking up the cross of Jesus Christ in game, and spreading the good news of His saving grace to ignorant, unsaved gamers.
Guild Rules
1. We do not accept Warlocks as members. The Warlock class delights in dark magic and utilizes demons, and satanic runes for assistance. In addition, if you zoom in really close, you can see fireballs coming from between their legs. Playing a Warlock is a bad testimony and could open your heart to Satanic influences.
2. We are currently not accepting Gnomes as members. Gnomes are a very small "human-like" race. Although some find them to be cute, there is a perversion that lurks beneath their seemingly innocent eyes. We found after hours of playing them, there is a glitch where if you stand next to a female, and accidentally hit your mouse wheel, you can see right up her skirt. Until the smarty-pants game coders at Blizzard fix this glitch, we will not be allowing Gnomes in our guild.
3. We do not participate in any raid that takes over 30 minutes. Long raids are a waste of
precious time that is better spent PM'ing and broadcasting the message of Jesus Christ - crucified, buried and resurrected to unsaved Catholics, Jews, Muslims, and other players who are going to hell. Jesus says He will come like a thief in the night, at an hour we least expect - the current situation in the Middle East leads us to believe that His return is VERY close at hand, so sharing the Gospel message is our primary and immediate goal in playing World of Warcraft.
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7. We meet in Booty Bay under the docks for Bible Study and Prayer services every Sunday afternoon at 2PM CST and Wednesday evenings at 8PM CST. These meetings are mandatory. Get on VENT! We will have a keynote speaker from our church on Vent preaching during each meeting. The meetings last from 1-2 hours depending on how many prayer requests we have at the end of the service.
More:
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1006/christianguildcharter.html(Yes, it's satire).
More Information:
There is more information on how to Win Souls to Christ in the World of Warcraft in an earlier article that our Pastor also allowed us to place on our church's main web site. You can visit that article by clicking here.
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0105/wow.html