And over the years, the nuances in between have left me dizzy. So I can't say it's either/or, but depends on who I've met along the way and their personal feelings on the matter shaped by their life's experience, their culture, and the myriad of cultures at large.
-I had a Afghani girlfriend who an African friend, a Muslim like she adored her. "NO, I can never marry him," she said. "He's Blaaahk," as if it were a stain. She was in turn, in love with a blond and blue co-worker who was not interested in her. But turns around within a few months and marries an incredibly dark Afghani, sporting the thickest biggest 'fro I've seen since I was a child in the '70s. I don't know what to make of it.
-I had a Greek male friend who, to my astonishment, wanted more but told me, "Our relationship can go no further if you do not accept Greece as the cradle of Civilization," after many heated arguments that Africa is the cradle of Greek civilization.
-I once knew a group of the nicest Vietnamese/African-Americans mix young people who caught hell in Vietnam after the war. They were so happy to form their own community. I mean being able to walk around freely without hostile stares and constant discrimination was all they hoped for and got when they came to the U.S. I wonder how they're faring now.
-I worked with a Vietnamese woman, married to a White male, has 2 daughters. She said she'd really be upset if her girls did not date or marry White men. No Asian men for her girls, they just weren't good enough! BTW, African-American men were also cool to date or marry. For her, the men just have to be American. Asian or Asian American need not apply.
-I dated at the time who I thought was a wonderful African-American man. He revealed to me that because I have freckles and my hair color is reddish, I must not be All African, so I was okay to introduce to his family. He didn't understand that this was not a compliment.
-My husband and I know a Vietnamese American couple. The wife is gorgeous and her strong Chinese ancestry is evident in her appearance. He adores her but can't stand her at the same time because he thinks she's better than him because of her strong Chinese blood. She could care less because they're both Vietnamese. They're in therapy now.
-I dated an Egyptian whose family was so gracious to me and eagerly pushed for marriage. I was acceptable only because I was from Africa, too. But he better not bring home any girls who are descendants of African-Americans.
I can really carry this list to at least 10 more examples of the variety of people's feelings. But as my husband sums it up, "You like what you like."
Here's an interesting NPR segment from a few weeks ago
"Overall, interracial marriages are becoming more common in America, according to recent U.S. Census data. But those numbers mainly reflect the increase in black-white marriages. The same data show that since the 1990s, fewer American-born children in Asian and Latino families are marrying outside their ethnic group.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=103439900