The Root: The Legacy of Loving

How To Feed A White Man

By Guest Blogger, Nikki Harris (soon to be Nikki Harris-Abramson)

As most of you know I recently became engaged to a well-to-do white man.

He treated me right from the word “go”. But I learned alot about white men in general since dating him. They need different things including different foods. You cannot feed a white man sweet potatoes, roast beef and greens and expect him to act normal. The whole freakin’ point to dating a white man is to make the difference seem less. Below are foods I learned to eat and cook for my white man. If you are dating white or want to be then you need to go and get these foods for your kitchen:

1. Artichokes—I never ate one of these until I started dating my man, but they are hard to cook. Buy them and experiment, he’ll love you for it.

2. Cauliflower–My white man treats this like broccolli. He calls it white brocolli. It’s pretty bland, so please leave the McCormick’s in the shelf. My man likes it bland and crispy.

3. Vegetable soup–any kind–Do I need to expound on this? Pea, carrot, squash, lentil.

4. Tofu–Another hard thing to make. My man likes his scrambled with eggs or vegetables. It tastes like water, but this is probably the only thing he allows me to season with McCormick.

5. Bagels–I like cereal and waffles in the morning, he likes a big-ass bagels. There’s a shop near his law firm and he makes them bake a special batch for him every day. I gained 5 pounds because of this.

Yea, there are other things like salad but this is a start. You also have to master string bean casserole but that’s for Thanksgiving. As my boo and I say, Bon Apetit!