Some fun things I’ve learned living and working with Veterans.

I’m in the middle of writing a retirement speech for a co-worker and found myself writing about all of the interesting things that he has taught me in the 13 years we have been working together. This got me to thinking… What else have I learned from my friends, family and co-workers who are Veterans that I could have learned from no one else? Here is what I have come up with so far…

Things I’ve learned from my Veteran friends and family…

1. If you are remodeling your basement and are taking down drywall. It is ok to plow through that wall with your head with a running start. *Disclaimer* You need to have a Government Issued titanium plate in your forehead.
2. Is it just me or can any servicemen or women take a #2 anywhere, anytime? Don’t ask me how I learned this.
3. Why is it when you hear a scream or a crash or anything that sounds bad, you run towards it?
4. You can boil water in a hat
5. You can sleep anywhere, anytime in a blink.
6. You can wake up twice as fast as you fell asleep. My aunt says she learned how in basic.
7. You can put gas in your tank using an empty coffee can and a paper funnel. You just have to do it quick and with confidence.
8. If you don’t like someone, you take it out on them playing contact sports.
9. In a pinch, you don’t need any tools whatsoever to open a wine bottle.
10. A tampon will effectively re-cork that same wine bottle. No applicator needed

Things I’ve learned from my Veteran co-workers...

11. I’ve learned what hash-marks are
12. I’ve learned never to start shit with a guy whose hash marks go up past his elbow
13. If it is a reference to marijuana it is probably a password for something on the network
14. You never forget how to shoot a firearm… Well!
15. It is not considered rude to toss a table during a meeting.
16. An MP spends a lot of time eating and working out
17. Yelling accomplishes nothing, but a hard stare does
18. Never volunteer, but if you are given a task, make it simple and execute it perfectly.
19. Never share a hotel room when on a conference. A Vet will remember every prank you played or laugh you had at their expense. Laxative and no toilet paper… Nuff said.
20. It’s a ship or a craft, never a boat or dingy.
21. The Air Force has the best toys… But not everyone gets to play with them.
22. There is a special way to grip the rail on the stairs so you don’t fall
23. If you are salvaging materials at a job-site and something is nailed down… Take the nails too.
24. The fine art of being absolutely annoying to someone while remaining perfectly polite
25. If it was a tough day… Tell everyone they did a good job. You’ll need them again.

I may eventually post the speech in GD. But I thought I would share some of the fun things that Vets have taught me. Thank you all for your service and all you have taught.

Former sub sailor. Most fast attack submarines are called boats.

Never get into a fight with a cook.

Training documented is training held.

Throwing up the bullshit flag is an option as an E-5. As rank increases, the ability to throw it wanes.

Sleep is like food. Store it up when it is available. There are times you are doing to draw on it.

Do not screw with the lower ranks more than necessary. It interferes with their training and is counterproductive if you need them later.

My co-worker is a former SCPO and served on carriers for 20+ years and was the one that corrected another co-worker on that one. Guess he was not thinking of sub sailors.

How the hell is it that a 5'2" former SCPO could be the tallest guy in a room?