How to talk to Az - Democratic Underground

Modem Butterfly

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Wed Sep-21-05 12:20 PM
Original message

How to talk to Az

1) Approach slowly, but confidently. Az can smell fear and WILL react if he sense weakness.

2) Avoid wearing bright colors, particularly red. It is a popular misconception that Az is colorblind. Muted, earth-tones are the best choice.

3) Try to bring a treat to win Az's trust. Az's natural diet includes copious amounts of Reuben sandwiches, so anything containing rye bread, pastrami, sauerkraut, rough mustard, French dressing, in any combination is good. Also, candied apples are very much loved by Az.

4) Speak in a calm, soothing manner. Avoid sudden movements.

5) Never approach a group of Az.

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beam me up scottie

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Wed Sep-21-05 12:20 PM
Response to Original message

1. .

Edited on Wed Sep-21-05 12:23 PM by beam me up scottie

:evilgrin:

edited to add: Never approach a BMUS or MB without throwing them a chew toy first (small fundie children will do).
Once their thirst for the blood of the stupid is slaked, they will listen to reason.

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Wed Sep-21-05 12:23 PM
Response to Original message

2. Suddenly a wild Az leaps and rips into the poor butterfly

Wings and body parts fly everywhere..... oh the humanity.....if only she had remembered that dancing hello cthulhus attract wild Az's like catnip.

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Modem Butterfly

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Wed Sep-21-05 12:25 PM
Response to Reply #2

3. Bright colors, sudden movements...

Ah, the circle of life!

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Commie Pinko Dirtbag

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Fri Sep-23-05 05:02 PM
Response to Original message

4. Yep, the Way to Talk to Az is an important topic

that has to be kept kicked.

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Fri Sep-23-05 05:10 PM
Response to Reply #4

5. Definately

:kick:

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trotsky

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Fri Sep-23-05 05:57 PM
Response to Original message

6. What I would like is a thread on how to talk LIKE Az.

Ya got that YOOPER accent, Az?

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GOPFighter

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Mon Sep-26-05 05:52 PM
Response to Original message

7. Oh, I just found this

Sigh. The only thing worse than bad advice is good advice - given too late to do any good.

I'll try candied apples the next time...if I can pry them away from my wife.

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A HERETIC I AM

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Mon Sep-26-05 07:53 PM
Response to Original message

8. Is it OK To poke AZ with a spoon?

:::sigh::: MB can't respond.....

ANYWAY

how about a foreign language? Can one talk to AZ in...say....French?
Not that i speak French.

BTW AZ? Your "Natural diet" is a sammich best found in Manhattan?

How are you with Roast Beef on a Kaiser?

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Mon Sep-26-05 07:56 PM
Response to Reply #8

9. Roast beast is a natural Az lure

You can speak to the Az in English and a smattering of Japanese or German.

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A HERETIC I AM

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Mon Sep-26-05 08:04 PM
Response to Reply #9

10. "Domo Arigato, AZsama........

Hmmmmm....well, then if Roast beef is a natural lure and rough mustard and English are also in line......

Where do you stand on Yorkshire pudding?

Answer; THE CORNERS! (Thats usually the nicest, crustiest bit)
Of course, if you make it as a popover in a round ramiken, you're fucked.
:::slaps self:::: That's just silly

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Mon Sep-26-05 08:05 PM
Response to Reply #10

11. Mustard and Yorkshire pudding... blech

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A HERETIC I AM

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Mon Sep-26-05 08:29 PM
Response to Reply #11

12. NO NO NO!!! I don't suggest mustard on Yorkshire pudding!!

Not for a second! Only a fucking dipshit with no sensibility for food would put mustard on Yorkshire Pudding!

No, what i was getting at was the idea that grainy mustard, large meat and the English language point me to thinking you might........

ummmm.... :think:
::: Drops shovel, looks up at the walls of the hole::::
:hide:
never mind.

PS. gravy. Beef gravy on Yorkshire Pudding. Anything else is beneath those of us that have knowledge of such things and quite frankly, contemptable.

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Commie Pinko Dirtbag

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Thu Sep-29-05 04:51 PM
Response to Reply #12

13. But you have to remember:

Pat Robertson puts sugar on his porridge!

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