Jesus On A Pretzel!

But...buying a horse is greedy and will make the Baby Jesus on your pretzel cry! You should send me your eBay earnings. I promise to use them for a good, faith-based charity...like The Onager Home For Wayward Girls Over 18...

ST. PAUL, NE -- A girl and her mother in Nebraska say they made a divine discovery, in a bag of Rold Gold Honey Mustard Pretzels.

"We both kind of looked at each other at the time she brought it out and she turned it around and when she turned it around I said that looks like the Virgin Mary holding baby Jesus and she said that's what I think, Mom," said Machelle Naylor.

She and her daughter Crysta researched the bible after finding the pretzel and found out that mustard seeds, honey and even pretzels, are mentioned in the bible.

The pair put their finding for sale on eBay.

Crysta is hoping the bids will reach $1,000 so she can buy a horse.

http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/usworld/news-article.aspx?storyid=33476

I just had a bowel movement that closely resembles one of the apostles, no wait, maybe it looks more like Nixon. Either way, I hope to auction it off on Ebay for $23.50 so I can buy a guinea pig. :evilgrin:

And that "honey mustard" powder Rold Gold puts on 'em? Who the hell knows what that stuff is? I've seen wilder shit than Baby Jesus on my food after eating a few ounces of those things.

It started with the 10-year-old grilled cheese that resembled the Holy Mother and there was a similar one soon after that. How does imagined resemblance to religious icons make food valuable? Do your pancakes remind you of the crucifixion? Does your tuna salad reenact the Last Supper? This is positively loony. There should be a law against selling old food. If the natural stone formation in your backyard seems to be an exact replica of Teddy Roosevelt, I might want to hear about it. But anything made with batter or dough seems just nutty to me, religious or not.:shrug:

That little girl is damned to the eternal flames of woe!!!!!!!!

Tee hee.

I remember reading that, at one point during the Middle Ages, no less than 47 cathedrals in Europe all claimed to have the foreskin of Jesus.

At least the Xians aren't selling those on eBay.

Yet.

and God chooses to manifest himself in a pretzel to be sold on Ebay.

Okey dokey then. We are fucked.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=35826&item=6158640078&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW $15,000!!

But this deformed christ is only fetching 10 bucks. Hmmm, God moves in mysterious ways.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=35826&item=6160424188&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW

:beer:

Holy Grilled Cheese Sandwich, Batman!! The pretzel sold for $10,000 to the Golden Palace Casino.

Isn't that the same place that bought the Virgin Mary sandwich recently?

Sheesh, I don't want to visit *their* buffet :puke:

:hi:

That's one of the best comments I've read on the subject! Thanks.

:yourock:

Imagine how many Fundies are carefully examining every food product before they eat it now.

the bottom of the pretzel?

the more i look at it the more i'm seeing a Snake extending off where the baby is suppose to be....

maybe it's really Satan's pretzel and these people will be thrown into hell because they've sold their soul for a chance at a pony (which apparently they are opting out of now---church! church! we must support the church!!!)

the golden palace casino bought it? there is no end in what these casinos will do to try and corrupt good christians by bribing them to come visit a casino, see the holy pretzel, and play a few slots.

here is the scary part:
"We all had a feeling of warmth and spirituality when holding the pretzel." OMG!!!

so they made up a pretzel prayer:
"PRETZEL PRAYER
Bless this special Lenten bread, O God. May its folded arms remind us of your love which folds around us. Let this little bread help us to especially remember your son, Jesus, during Lent. Guide us, O God, into his loving ways each day. Amen"

well--that about sums it up. someone please call children & family services and report this lunatic! someone has to save the child (after all--it's the christian thing to do)

by the way--when i was a kid i used to be able to see the face of jesus on the back of my bathroom door when i stared at it for a minute. i'm sure it is still there if i look hard enough. i'm thinking of selling my bathroom door on ebay. if i do i'll keep you posted--i'm sure someone will want to place a bid on it so i can get a pony of my own too.

http://offer.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewBids&item=6158640078

scroll to the bottom of the page :


:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

How can they tell it's not Damien and his mother from The Omen?

It should be easy. Find some object that has lots of random patterns in it. A piece of bark, or a rock, or something. Take a digital photo, and circle some arbitrary area of the object. Say "Look it's the Virgin Mary!" Then put it up on eBay, sit back and wait for apophenia to do it's work...

I think I'll wait until the current fad has died down.

Keith Olbermann had this on, again, tonight. Whoever is crazy enough to pay thousands for a ten-year-old sandwich, because they believe it depicts the Holy Mother, has to be far crazier than the fox who's selling it.:crazy: