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montanto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-28-09 12:04 PM
Original message
". . . on earth, as it is in Heaven . . ."
Oh, shit!!

Think about it.

I was just thinking: I wonder where Jesus got his middle initial, you know, "H," as in Jesus H Fucking Christ? Of course The Lord's Prayer jumped immediately to mind. Our Father, which art in heaven, Howard be thy name . . . I know I'm probably not the first to notice this. But then I got thinking about the rest of that prayer. And that's when I started to get really afraid (jk). I mean, "Thy will be done, on earth, AS it is in heaven?" God's will, clearly, is that things be fucked up beyond all repair here on earth. And in heaven? A simile? "Thy will be done on earth AS in heaven?" Now if it said "thy will be done on earth AND in heaven," one might argue that the will could be for one thing here and another there, but the fact that it is a simile suggests that the will is one, and done AS one in two places.

God's will on earth includes rape, murder, famine, plague, disease, etc. As on earth, so in heaven.

Pass.

Sounds like hell to me.
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ZombieHorde Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-28-09 12:28 PM
Response to Original message
1. I thought the "H" was for heroin.
Baby Jesus knows where to get the good shit.
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stopbush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-28-09 12:35 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. When did Jesus H get the middle name "Fucking?"
I thought his middle name was "Tap dancing."
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moggie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-28-09 01:43 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. Jesus Tittyfucking Christ, dude!
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montanto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-28-09 04:04 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. It appears that our Lord and Savior
has a lot of fucking middle names. Kinda like Mozart I guess. I can't say that "Tittyfucking" from your post and "Tap Dancing" in the other post have the right ring to 'em at the same time though.
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montanto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-28-09 03:59 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. Clearly,
it can't be "Tap Dancing" and "Fucking" at the same time, as that is not allowable. Had you heard that it was "Jesus H. Tap Dancing Christ," which may be the case, or just "Jesus Tap Dancing . . ." because I know that ain't right. Anyway, maybe you can clear that up, but let me tell you a little something. At MY church its Jesus H. (as in "Howard be thy name") Fucking Christ on (a) ________________. Choose: Cracker, Crutch, Toast, Pogo Stick, Cheese Doodle, or other TBA.
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FiveGoodMen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-28-09 04:09 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. Trailer hitch
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onager Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-28-09 10:03 PM
Response to Reply #6
12. It's allowable if you're a Baptist.
:hi:
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goddess40 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-28-09 08:19 PM
Response to Reply #1
10. H is for Hussein nt
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Warpy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-28-09 09:34 PM
Response to Reply #1
11. You're all wrong! "H" is for HAPLOID
Think about it.
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stopbush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-28-09 12:33 PM
Response to Original message
2. You don't understand.
God would LIKE for his will to be done on Earth as it is in heaven, but we nasty humans get in his way. See, he gave us free will to be rebellious on Earth, and even though he is omnipotent and omniscient, he can't seem to enforce his heavenly will on us humans.

The Lord's Prayer is a prayer hoping that god's heavenly will can and will be enforced here on Earth.

Luckily, if you're a true believer, you get your heavenly reward...which is the eternal absence of free will as you bow and scrape in a semi-benign dictatorship, worshiping god and - according to Acquinas - looking down at the people suffering in hell, and taking pleasure in their suffering, suffering that makes your citizenship in a dictatorship seem like a day at Disneyland by way of comparison.

This is what 70% of Americans who live in a democracy aspire to for eternity. Why?
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montanto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-28-09 03:47 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. Aha! Right.
Otherwise it would go "In Heaven, as it is on earth." Makes sense.

My idea was frightening, but yours is even worse. This whole heaven thing isn't selling itself as well as one might expect. I think I'll avoid it.
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laconicsax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-28-09 04:46 PM
Response to Reply #2
9. Semi-benign?
How is a totalitarian dictator that imposes thought-control on its citizenry semi-benign?
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dmallind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-02-09 07:17 AM
Response to Reply #9
14. Bach's masses are piped in for you to listen to. It helps. NT
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Rhiannon12866 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-29-09 11:38 PM
Response to Original message
13. I started saying The Lord's Prayer as a little kid, before I understood the words.
One of my parents would always come in with me when I went to sleep, to hear my prayers, blessing everyone in my family and saying The Lord's Prayer. I didn't understand all the words until I was older and neither of my parents ever realized that I started it saying "Our Father, wart in Heaven..." As a little kid, that's what I heard, so that's what I said... :rofl:
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