Cracked: A Letter to God Following the Cancellation Of the Rapture

lazarus

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Mon May-23-11 10:58 AM
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Cracked: A Letter to God Following the Cancellation Of the Rapture

http://www.cracked.com/blog/a-letter-to-god-following-cancellation-rapture/

Hee.

When a billboard tells me I can anticipate a La Quinta Inn in 12 miles, that advertisement and I enter a tacit trust with each other. I rely on the truth of that information to inform my decisions. If it fails to deliver on its promise, then the consequences could be catastrophic; I could fall asleep at the wheel or get lost or end up sleeping at a local campground. That's what's at stake. But you've made a mockery of that trust, and quite honestly, now I don't know what to believe anymore.

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laconicsax

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Mon May-23-11 02:46 PM
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1. I'm pretty sure the problem was a communications snafu.

My guess is that the Rapture was called off in some areas due to rain and the message for the good Christians to clear out of the soggy areas never materialized due to the fact that Ol' Smites a Lot is using an extremely antiquated computer system (last I heard, they still use COMTRAN). They weren't able to reschedule (it requires a consensus vote between daddy, the boy, and the spook and Jesus was busy appearing in a rust stain), so the whole rapture got scrubbed.

Really unfortunate, but not wholly unexpected.

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PVnRT

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Tue May-24-11 06:10 AM
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2. I think it's obvious what really happened....

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Rozlee

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Tue May-24-11 09:59 AM
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3. The Rapture is so ho-hum.

I'm holding out for the Zombocalypse.

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