Stuck In Fundie Land

I had to fly to West Virginia last month because my little 6-year-old grandson was in intensive care due to Viral Meningitis. He was there for three days until he was moved to a step down unit for two days, then discharged with hopefully no long term damage.

His mother, my ex-daughter-in-law, is a lovely girl. Even after she and my son went their separate ways, I still love her dearly. She lives just outside of Beckley, WV, in the heart of Appalachian fundie land. She's religious, but not a church-going, in-your-face snake-handler.

Not so her mother.

Her Mom loves listening to the Christian channel, SonLife Broadcasting around the clock. No, I mean that. Around the clock. She sleeps in the living room in her recliner, her TV on, listening to continuous choirs and hymns, sermons and talk panels. Her favorite is Frances and Friends, a talk show venue featuring Jimmy Swaggart's wife, Frances, in a panel with usually three or four other guests, usually including her son, Donnie.

Ninety percent of their show seems to revolve around homosexuals and the "homosexual agenda." They take calls from viewers who have horror stories about their encounters with homosexuals and how their lives have been traumatized and forever destroyed by these deviant monsters.

Frances and her panel of speakers nod wisely, their faces oozing studied compassion.

"I know what you're going through," Frances said to a caller at one point. "When I was a child, I was raped by a homosexual. I've since forgiven this person for his monstrous transgression and prayed that by the grace of God, he's given himself over to the Lord and abandoned this abomination of his chosen lifestyle." The others in the group murmur "Amen." They go on to quote several parts in the Bible that describe the evil that is homosexuality, including one in 1Corinthians 11 that says homosexuality is unnatural. But, of course, they don't finish the rest of the scripture that says that men that wear long hair and women that wear short hair are also unnatural. Frances has a very short 'do. They go on and on about the sanctity of marriage, never minding that Donnie Swaggart has divorced his second wife. Caller after caller has stories of rapes by homosexuals of themselves or their children. One caller stated that his child was raped by a homosexual who then cut off his genitals and ate them. Frances and the panel groaned and said they'd pray for them. Another woman said she's been married twice and both husbands had been homosexuals that she'd come home to find in bed with other men. Seriously, what are the odds? Another said her daughter was a Lesbian and was living with six other women in an apartment and that she had relations with them all. Some of Frances' callers tried to debunk her or call her out on her claims, but she'd steadfastly hit back with biblical scriptures and tell the callers such gems as: "Would you welcome a drug dealer into your home? Or a serial killer?" She'd tell her audience to love their children that were homosexuals, try incessantly to convert them into the way of the Lord, but to never let them near any other members of the family, especially impressionable youth and children.

When my daughter-in-law's mother and her aunts would get together, it was always discussion after discussion of the evils of homosexuals, Obama, and how miner's unions had joined the mining companies to keep miners from their benefits and pensions.

I was so glad when my plane touched back down in San Antonio. I'll desperately miss my little grandson. And who would ever guess that Rick Perry's Texas would look good to me? Hopefully, I'm not insulting any West Virginians who might be reading this as I only saw a small cross section of the state and SonLife is broadcast to millions of homes across the nation. But, I've been traumatized, OK?

The "letters" section were stories of unexpected seductions, by multiple beautiful women who were bent on fulfilling fantasies (that some men might have. :))

In their minds, these women, who call in, are doing "good work." Theists are allowed (indeed, blessed) to lie if it "benefits" anyone less devout than themselves.

--imm

Sounds like they were punk'd by at least a couple of callers there.

I thought it said "Suck It Fundie Land" and wondered how I missed that thread.