So, what the hell is going on in Massachusetts?

A Guide for the Perplexed: (Which includes me, oddly enough)

The Boston Phoenix and the Boston Globe have been firing warning shots across the bow of the Good Ship Kerry again. (Damn, and things were going so well, lately too!) Let me see if I can put some of this stuff in perspective for you folks out there in the hinterland who aren't in the oddball world of the Liberal Oasis.

The new President of the Massachusetts Senate made his maiden speech to that august body in January. In it he uttered the following phrase in complete seriousness, "Massachusetts: Getting it right for 300 years." (Yes, this was actually uttered.) As the Senate President's math accurately omits the Salem Witchcraft Trials, he may have a point. We are a proud State that believes in our own ability to posit correct solutions for the nation. (Because we are smarter, more progressive and more well-educated than those people in places like New Hampshire and the flat states out west. Honestly, we have studies from Harvard and MIT that completely prove this.)

The Boston Phoenix has seen Senator John Kerry associating with reprehensible Know-Nothings like Senator Rick Santorum from Pennsylvania and wonders what possible good came come of this? (Really John, he's a homophobe. You must learn to walk away when he comes toward you. He is not someone you should be having tea with, never mind trying to make laws with. Really John, what were you thinking?) Here is a link to the Boston Phoenix story that is trying to puzzle out what our John is doing hanging out with that Philistine and coming up with laws that might restrict access to birth control. (Maybe. They might not too, but you are speaking with Santorum and that is nearly proof enough that it is a bad bill. Honestly John, try not to talk to those awful religious nuts. They are deadly serious and stupid. How awful.) http://www.bostonphoenix.com/boston/news_features/other_stories/multi_3/documents/04669642.asp

Eileen McNamara, who has taken kindly stands toward Our John in the past is rather miffed at the Senator today. http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2005/05/08/dont_forget_us_senator/ She is very afraid that Our John has gone Rethug because of his inability to totally embrace Gay Marriage. Why she even insults him with one of the worst liberal epitaphs ever thrown: You are like Mitt Romney. You are traveling out-of-state to Gawd knows what kinds of places, just like that awful Romney. Really, what possible good can come of hanging out in Louisiana?

Those people don't really love you, you know. We need you at home, dear. Please come back straight away and don't bring any of those foreign notions of civil unions or party organization back here with you. Look at Uncle Teddy, dear. You don't see him running around the country saying things like he believes in complete and full civil rights for gay couples that matches the rights given hetero couples. No Uncle Ted straight out, pardon the pun, endorses Gay Marriage. Really John, I fear for you dear. Your Presidential campaign has exposed you to these strange notions that are not orthodoxly liberal. Repent dear and soon. Honestly, you need a decent three day seminar in Cambridge and a Spa treatment afterward. That would be just the ticket.

The funniest thing about this article was it's juxtaposition with another article in the paper. McNamara's ran with the Headline, "Don't Forget us, Senator." Right next to it, in even larger type, was the headline for another story that read, "We Know Exactly Where you are." (It was about putting GPS trackers on the ankles of sexual offenders so that we can track them anywhere, anyplace, anytime. Perhaps a version designed to track certain pols liberal orthodoxy can be developed so that we can see at a glance where any given Pol is on the liberal spectrum.)

Since the election, JK belongs to all of us, not only MA. And I think he can handle it! Eileen needs to share him with all of us who need him desperately!

You'd think I was awake by this hour. Yes, I thought you might have a wee bit of a reaction to this piece of sh**. I tried to write a blog post on it, but I honestly didn't know where to start. There was error and disingenuousness in every single line she wrote.

This has nothing to do with John Kerry. Sort of. Just read it. It was ever so.

http://www.boston.com/news/globe/ideas/articles/2005/05/08/the_anti_bostonian/

The anti-Bostonian
By Joshua Glenn | May 8, 2005

WHEN HE DIED in 1849 at age 40, Edgar Allan Poe’s literary reputation was at its nadir. Why? According to ‘‘Poe’’ (Mississippi), a new biography by James M. Hutchisson, the writer’s ostracism from American literary culture can be chalked up to his unwise battles with influential Bostonian wordsmiths

(SNIP)

In 1845, Poe’s aesthetic sectionalism torpedoed his career when he was invited by Bostonian poet James Russell Lowell to read his electrifying new poem ‘‘The Raven’’ before the Boston Lyceum, whose lecture series helped establish the reputations of the Transcendentalists (whom Poe nicknamed the Frogpondians). On Oct. 16, before a standing-room-only audience at Boston’s Odeon Theatre, Poe couldn’t resist prefacing his reading with some biting remarks about New England writing; insulted, most of the audience walked out.

Shortly afterward, Poe alienated his last few supporters here when he insisted, in the pages of a New York literary magazine, that although its pumpkin pie was ‘‘delicious,’’ Boston’s hotels were ‘‘bad’’ and its poetry ‘‘not so good.’’ As for Bostonians, Poe concluded, what few good qualities they possessed were erased by the fact that they had ‘‘no soul.’’

That these attacks are happening!

These intra-liberal fights can be so deranged and non-sensical. They are the epitome of dumbness. I am still here in the thick of it. On the one side, my Lowell and town Democrats are telling me that Massachusetts is on the edge of a precipice, and we are in danger of falling so far into Liberal-Land that we will never return.

On the other hand, Liberal-Land is bemoaning the fact that Kerry is not 'one of us' anymore. (Which is completely stupid, unfounded and untrue. Flat out, not true. At all. It is a delusion. These people are neurotic and insecure. and seeing things that aren't there.)

But, come on, it's also funny. It has always been funny. Because it's totally absurd. I feel for Sen. Kerry. I secretly suspect now that he may come to the Lowell Convention and make a grand entrace. That would be both bold, welcome and great. We shall see. But it would challenge the liberals and give him some creds back.

I was just telling Sandy the other day that as liberal as MA is it's filled with old Yankees who are are blend of conservative and liberal values. There are pieces of MA history that these Yankees will never forget and always honor (the Witch Trials and the start fo the Revolution), but I remember too well the attitude of the Yankees in the 60's and 70's towards the hippies and the anti-war folks.

The timing of all this seems interesting and/or odd. :shrug:

IT's from The Lowell Sun and they haven't put it up on their site yet. Yes, the Lowell Sun is giving the Senator a shout-out and some big props for helping to organize MA Dems. (The Globe and Pheonix are in deep suspicion of KErry and the Lowell Sun is praising some of his actions. I must have fallen into Bizarro-World.)

Did you read Eileen McNamara's column?? I still have steam coming out of my ears. I wanted to talk about it, but didn't want it posted. What a bitch.

http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2005/05/08/dont_forget_us_senator

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Kerry and Massachusetts Liberals: An Affair to Decipher

Setting: A drawing room in a well-appointed but not ostentatious Cambridge Home:

The Players: ML, Massachusetts Liberals, personified. She is lovely and extremely high-maintenance woman.
John, A tall, handsome liberal Senator from Massachusetts

ML is lounging on the Sofa, reading this week's copy of The Nation. She is, as ever, not quite happy. She hears the key go into the lock in the front door and begins to brace herself for a confrontation with one of her 'amours.
John enters, wondering, not for the first time, why this place always seems to exist on a sort of cloud, as though it were suspended slightly above the physical plane.

John: "I'm home. Hello, ML, anybody here."
ML: "Oh, it's you. I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to come home again. Where have you been? What have you been up to? Why haven't you been to see me in the last few months? I've been here suffering, I tell you, suffering. It's been a trial, a terrible ordeal. I don't know how I got through it without more meds."

John sighs. They have played this scene before. He knows what he is in for and goes to the bar and pours himself a nice double shot of scotch, neat. He downs it in one swift motion and grits his teeth. Thus fortified, he turns to face the woman who personifies his base.

John: "I know you've been through a lot. And I know that you went all out to support me during the campaign last year. I'm sure it's been difficult."
ML: "Difficult? Difficult? Have you heard what that awful Romney has been saying about me? He's been going around to these strange States and accusing me of being some kind of freak! It's been a trauma. It's like I've been in some sort of car accident and I can't even sue the one who did it. Oh John, where have you been? I need you to defend my honor, absolutely."
John: "I was a little busy. You remember, ML, we talked about this. I ran for President last year. It was a really tough race, I got personally smeared and ..."
ML: "You, you, you. It's all about you. What about what I suffered? Do you have any idea what I endured in that race. There were people in places like Missouri and Ohio claiming that I was some sort of crazy person. They said I was dragging you down, putting weights on your legs and causing you trouble." She paused for a moment and thought. "John, you don't actually think I was a weight on you last year do you?"
John bites his tongue and pauses for a moment. Carefully, oh so carefully, he says, "Well, dear, it would be nice if you would think through what you say. Not everyone in the country is ready for some of your proposals. Not that they aren't brilliant and morally correct and all, but some people just aren't where you are yet. You have to have patience."
ML: "Yes, patience. Right. People are being denied their civil rights and you want me to have patience. How can anyone have patience when there is so much oppression in the world. Patience equals consent, you used to know that John."

ML collapses on the couch in a snit. John sits down next to her and picks up her hand.

John: "ML, I had to run everywhere in the whole country. I had to place different emphasis on different positions. That's just the way it is. It doesn't mean I have changed my mind on any of my ideals. I still have them."
ML: " Really, John? Then how come you didn't emphasize your anti-war protests. Why, oh why did you run as a Vietnam War Vet and not as a Protester vet? That would have won the election for you. Everyone loves a protester."
John: "Actually, that's not true. I know you find this hard to believe, but in some spots in the country, political protesters are not viewed in an altogether favorable way."
ML: "Really? How strange. Well, anyway, you're back and now you can throw off those bad traits you picked up on the road and go back to properly representing me."
John: "Well, I actually don't believe in full Gay Marriage. It's a religious thing and ..."
ML: "WHAT! What the hell are you saying John? How can you be against Gay Marriage? You're not one of us anymore?"

ML gets up and crosses to the corner of the room where she throws John a stern look.

ML: "You've changed John and I don't like it. You know, I have other suitors. They are true to me and don't go picking up weird centrist notions in places like Pittsburgh. Oh good Lord, how could it come to this."

John crosses the room and stands next to ML. He tries to get her to look at him.

John: "ML, I do believe in full civil rights for all citizens. I always have. It's just the idea of calling it marriage that I have a problem with. You know religious liberty means that Churches have the right to set their own policies without interference from the State."
ML smiles. ML: "Yeah, I believe strongly in freedom of speech and association and all that. I suppose you have a point. Okay, I'll allow you that one. Now, tell me, what have you been doing lately? Where have you been?"
John: "Well, I've been crossing the country speaking up for health care coverage for kids. It's a bill I've introduced in the Senate."

ML's face lights up in a genuinely dazzling smile.

ML: "Oh John, that's wonderful! I'm so excited for you. You know Universal Health Care has been one of my issues forever."
John: "It's not Universal Health Care ML. I don't think the country is ready for that yet. My bill starts with covering all the kids. I call it KidsFirst."

John saw the storm clouds return to ML's brow and went and fixed himself another double scotch. It was going to be a long night.

This one was for Whome, who knows what I mean.

Posting it on a public forum. You really do like to live dangerously. :)

John Kerry has been putting up with this his whole political career. This is nothing new. The gentleman is acutally quite good at dealing with this stuff. (He has been elected 4 times to the Senate, despite having troubling times with Liberal-Land.)

He got re-elected in 1996, despite voting for the Welfare Reform Act. It never occurred to Liberal-Land that the non-libs in Massachusetts were not in a welfare-tolerant state that year and if he didn't vote for it, we would have Sen. Weld to contend with today. That is politics. Sometimes you have to hold your nose and vote.

Again, I have no fear at all, which is why I am able to laugh at this idiocy. Where else in the country could John Kerry be taken to task because he is not Liberal enough? (Dear Lord in heaven, has the Globe followed anything in DC this year? Sen. Kerry has voted a near straight liberal line. These people are tone deaf to what is going on in the country.)

In complete truth I am intrigued as to how he will handle this. He needs to do some coddling and hand-holding with certain groups in MA, that's for sure. This shouldn't be a problem. You don't please all the people all the time, you please enough of the people enough of the time. There is a difference. Some people never notice when you vote with them, they only notice when you vote against them, or are perceived to be voting against them. The Senator will sooth some of the ruffled feathers I am sure. I am just waiting to see how. (Again, he is quite good at this.)

Do I ever. That was f'ing brilliant!!!

If you had John's personal email address, I'd say you should send it to him. I can just picture him reading it and laughing his ass off.

Edited to add, hmmmmm...would you consider emailing it to Eileen McNamara???? (mcnamara@globe.com to tempt you...) I'd pay money to be a fly on the wall when she read it. Maybe under an assumed name...

You're a friggin' comic genius! :D

We have seriously descended into bizarro-land when the Lowell Sun praises Kerry, and the Phoenix and Globe are chastising him for not being liberal enough.

"If Senator John F. Kerry really wants to influence the Democratic Party in Massachusetts, wouldn't he have more impact in Lowell than in Louisiana?"

Maybe his goals go beyond influencing the Democratic Party in Massachusetts--and there is nothing wrong with that. Perhaps his goals include things like bringing health care to every child in the country. To do that it is helpful to go to Louisiana, as well as many other places in the country.

She's either the biggest nitwit ever, or just lying in order to get in a few cheap shots. And boy, are they ever cheap!!

It's not the first time she's written this kind of column about Kerry. TayTay's right, though. It has the stench of jealous woman all over it.

Sometimes I wonder if people would still say all this awful stuff about him if he were short, bald and overweight.

This is the kind of thing that makes living in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts interesting.

And we have a perfect example of what it's like for Sen. Kerry:

Late April we had the Globe publish a 'humor' column that most people thought was a cheap shot and not funny. (I thought it was funny, but bore no relation to Sen. Kerry.)

Sen. Kerry's office fired back with a stern LTTE that was somewhat curt and humorless that said, that was a cheap shot.

The Globe responds by ignoring Sen. Kerry's rousing success out-of-state at Town Hall meetings to build national grassroots support for fully funding health care for kids. (Which, I think and correct me if I'm wrong, liberals generally agree is a good idea.) Instead of writing something nice about this laudable effort to gain support, the Globe focuses their story on a throw-away question about Gay Marriage in Massachusetts. (Object: This man is obviously out-of-touch. Quick, get the torches, yon villagers, he is deviating again.)Much gnashing of teeth and cries of betrayal from Liberal-Land ensue. (Predictably enough.)

Before Sen. Kerry can fire back in his own defense, the Globe sics a Metro (see LOCAL) columnist on him to say that he is, gad, out-of-touch with the mainstream of liberalism. (In Massachusetts.) She writes a bunch of nonsense in a sort of Desperate Housewifely way that shows her utter despair by flinging the ultimate insult, "You're just like Romney." (This is ludicrous. Only the Globe could equate Kerry with Romney.)

Senator, the ball is in your court. Don't disappoint me now.

I agree that he's good at soothing the ruffled feathers, but this attack was ridiculous. I don't know who she's speaking for but herself. I know a percentage of the MA lefty freepers are po'd about the gay marriage thing, but they're a hell of a lot more po'd about Romney's entire tenure.

You got it right when you said she's the one who's out of touch. Kerry may have been doing a lot of travelling, but I meet NO ONE who says they think he's unaware of what the people of his state are thinking. Classic case of projection?

Perish the (short, balding etc) thought - but the woman scorned vibe may be a tad more revealing than she might have intended...