|
Edited on Mon Jun-06-05 08:51 AM by TayTay
(A parody of DU and how we see the Senate.)
When last we checked in on 'The World's Greatest Deliberative Body,' the Senate had just voted to not invoke cloture on the nomination of John Bolton to be US Bastard-at-Large to the UN. Senate Democrats were deeply reluctant to admit that they were, in effect, filibustering the Bolton nomination, because they weren't sure that all the Rethug Senators had their meds with them and this might set them off. (The Senate tasers were on the fritz and the last time this happened there was gnawed furniture everywhere and several unpleasant incidents where staff had to be given tetanus booster shots.)
Sen. Bill Frist, fearful that he was showing weakness to his Democratic opponents had offered a one-time throw-down challenge in order the get the nomination passed. The Rethugs would put up Bolton against any Democrat in a 'cage match' in the underground super-secret Senate Wrestling Ring. If Bolton won, the Dems would have to accept his nomination, three wingnut judges and wear funny hats for two weeks. If the Dems won, then Frist would have to stop calling them wussies and give them back the keys to the Democratic Senate bathrooms. (And the Rethugs would still get Bolton and 3 Wingnut judges passed.) Sen. Reid had laughed in Sen. First's face, exclaiming, "Ahm that's not how it works Bill. If we win, Bolton goes back to the wildlife preserve and the judges go back in the time machine to the 1800's. It's that or no deal." The negotiations are currently at an impasse, as Sen. Frist has changed his mind and decided that a tag-team match between Bolton and Sen. Allen might be more satisfying. Sen. Reid has not yet named the Democratic All-Star brawling team yet, but there is speculation that Barbara Boxer might get the nod to suit up for the Dems. Time and date to be announced.
Today's action picks up when we hear Sen. Kerry begin his speech with, "Have any of you lying sons-of-bitches ever told the truth about anything in your whole morally bankrupt lives? Seriously, I want to know. Have any of you dishonest, chicken-hawk piles of steaming monkey crap ever said anything that would pass a lie detector test?"
|