Does anyone else feel like they can't trust anyone?

I thought I had someone I could trust... I thought I had finally found a best friend and that I could at least trust that one person.

Now that's gone... and it has me so depressed, thinking that I will never find anyone with whom I can let my guard down and confide in and ... just trust to be my friend.

This fucking sucks. Like undergroundpanther said... I feel like my brain is too messed up from my past and there's nothing that can be done about it.

I just needed to vent. Thanks.

Paranoid, depressed, and crazy is not a pretty place to be.

I don't trust people all that much when my meds are right, but I can at least be a little more logical about it.

I've been skating a little close to the black hole recently. I think I'm backing away from it, I've got new meds, and I'm trusting all the safety nets I've learned to build (by wretched experience...) will hold.

I hope you've got your own safety nets, redqueen.

:hug:

i used to. i used to be close to a couple of my sisters, but that is now a swamp. and i had a long, long term best friend decide that i was a bitch, but fail to let me know that she felt that way. so, when it all broke loose, in an ugly way, in front of my kids and a bunch of other people, it was pretty much the end of that kind of trust for me. had a couple other fallouts since then, and find that i just let it go if it means wading through a lot of crap.
i have friends now, but i find i filter everything that i say. anything that might be seen in the light that she ended up seeing me stays good and buried.
it was a lesson in who i am, and i strive to own my own shit, and be aware of how i seem to others. it gets lonely.

I wish we lived closer,because I can't trust either.My other post "banned" is another story of broken trust and bullying,the consequence of misplaced trust.Anyway unlike the people I am mired in,people who decide to trust me I will NEVER violate that trust because to me,it is a gift,a sacred thing to have someone trust in me.And I reciprocate the trust as the relationship grows.Problem is it seems so many people have no integrity and they aren't trust worthy at all,but they act like they are.And these bad people don't have a blinking red asshole sign on their foreheads so you end up fucked over again until you educate yourself about narcissist, sociopath and authoritarian personalities and observe them before you trust and pay attention to red flags and boundary violations the person does before you put trust in them.But sometimes it is so hard to do isn't it?.I sympathize with you Red queen.This cat cares even when it hurts.Life just hurts too much,I'd kill myself but I have tried before and failed so why try again 25 times is my limit,also I have cats,two sweet children of Bast I trust and adore I refuse to abandon them.
And I love eviscerating assholes.

I used to think I was just "paranoid" - nope. I'm just tuned in to the never-ending treachery that every human being is capable of.

Thanks for 'listening.'

Even my children have used my unhappiness/depression against me - as a tool to get things they want. They tell their father on me. My inability to deal well with abusive words and unkind behavior undermines my authority and gets them their father's backing no matter how wrong it is.

I have learned over the years that there is no one who won't use my unhappiness and sensitivity against me. No one. I no longer feel comfortable confiding in anyone.

depriving me of financials I am owed. Pretty damn down now.

then get burn. Move on trust again, get burned again etc. It's just not my nature to not trust people. I usually pay a price for it.

fuck it