Just to remind everyone . . . this is a public conversation

This group is also read by non DUers. Sometimes those seeking to read about their interests and sometimes for comic entertainment.

It's that reality everyone knows...nothing is a secret if it's on the internet.

It is not uncommon for students of mental health to read groups such as ours out of interest in the topics, and it has become a not uncommon practice for therapists to actually track patient posts.

As we well know, calling the opponents names, including various references to crazy is a real part of political chat. Our group provides a ready-made forum for those who wish to indulge that prurient interest.

I've often puzzled over why our view counts were so high and the reply rate so low. Obviously anyone can read what's posted in here. You can call me paranoid or just curious but, I've been googling to see just who else is referencing our threads on the internet. Over the past year posts from here have been referenced, sometimes conscientiously, sometimes mockingly on several conservative boards including freerepublic and conservative cave.

They know individual posters well enough to discuss regular posters with earlier and later DU IDs and profiles. Some here have dedicated fans, even if their interest is rather voyeuristic.

It's something that I've considered here in the past, before I started putting the personal stuff out there. But I haven't put anything out there that I wouldn't own up to if I was called on it.

Aside from small minded individuals who don't understand empathy, hope, and personal development, I think if you go back here and look through what I've posted you will find a reason to keep fighting the good fight if you are in a situation where you feel like you are not making any progress. The key to a brighter future when you are dealing with a mental health problem is to keep going. I know that may seem impossible at times and those are the times when you need to reach out to someone- that too is keeping on keeping on. Reaching out for help is not giving up.

I've put it all out there in the hope that it might help someone, including myself. If someone wants to mock that then they've got bigger problems than I do.

I think that many people that are going through depression and all the various forms of baggage that goes along with that are just looking for reassurance that they aren't alone. Maybe they can get something out of what is being said here that might help them. Maybe not.

I lost all of my "friends" after my suicide attempt so I'm not worried about someone reading what I have to say and realizing that "I" am the person they know. They wouldn't take the time to care let alone read about anything to do with what I've gone through and am going through. Me, being an infrequent writing newbie I might be checked on by others to see what and where I post. If that's the case I have no problem with that.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about suicide and killing myself. I'm currently (I think??) on cocktail #5. This one includes a powerful sedative that I call the "Zombie Drug". Nasty nasty stuff. I've been on it for four weeks. I've been told that the bad side effects will go away in 6-8 weeks. I hope so. If not, I'm going off it.

In a public forum like this we can all hope that others might benefit even if they don't reply. I know I gain comfort in knowing that I'm not alone. We are all unique individuals and we step into the darkness for various reasons but we all share many common feelings.

That is how I look at it. I may be completely wrong. Oh, and I'm sorry that I didn't continue discussing the issue of anger with you. I had some thoughts that I put together in my head. Just didn't have the energy to convert those to words.

are looking for reassurance. I suspect that those are people who are somewhat more reticent to post than those who do. Knowing what I've found about 'visitors' using these threads as an entry to mock DU on other threads might make them even more reticent.

I apologize if I've scared people away.

I just think that those of us who feel the need and do post here should be as comfortable with the reality that this isn't a truly private conversation as you clearly are.

Good luck with your meds.

And I apologize for rambling and getting off topic.

Some may be embarrased. Feeling that having a mental illness makes them less of a 'real person', which is total bs. Others may be looking for something they can identify with.

I don't understand why someone would use one part of a cyber village as a springboard to other parts just to practice their "asshole skills". The internet is used by many as a way to address their own mental illness/depression. An escape of sorts. It's no different than abusing drugs and alcohol as a means to fight their own depression.

And yea, thanks for the good luck message on my meds. If I were younger I'd probably say screw it and go it on my own. But I'm getting older and I want to do whatever I can to get through this dark goo I'm stuck in and have some peace. Some happiness. If I have to medicate myself to do that then so be it.

I wouldn't give their projective identification another thought.

i was having a lot of trouble with my kids at the time, and he put those details on his blog. it is not really that hard, if you know me, to figure out that this user name is me. not sure how he did that from the other side. but he is a sorry piece of work with not much else to do than to cause trouble.
for all i know he still lurks here, but i really don't give a shit. i am upfront about most everything, beyond the bounds of social convention, i guess. sometimes that has it's upside.
understand why that might be a problem for some, tho.

and there are people out there who actually work to put together pieces of computer information for various reasons. Things like insurance, credit rating, we all know about, we think less about more personal stuff, but people are playing around with that, too.

:)

Has the light come back to you town yet? It's been peeking out here and then going away again under the clouds. I've a big canvas with a huge landscape that wants to be started.