Losing it

when is it wrong to say how you really feel?

I am a suvivor of incest.pedophilia and rape.

I hear people pooh poohing rape demeaning women and talking like sexist pigs who don't care.. What should I do? Ignore it?

Or condemn it?

What if the bully club comes out in force to deny and minimize my claim so it is NEVER heard?


What then? THIS IS INVALIDATING and INFURIATING and it is NOT FAIR.


Why am I treated so ignorantly for standing up for my rights and rights of women?

I want to SCREAM.This is pissing me off.

70,000 members. We keep the sexism to a minumum for a place of this size. If you see a post which you feel minimizes the impact of rape, don't hesitate to alert it, but do not allow yourself to get frustrated if it takes some time for the moderators to take action.

We are not online 24/7 and we need a consensus of agreement to take any action at all.

If things get you down or upset, may I suggest you take a break and/or use the "hide thread" function.

It is not considered wise to post personal infomation and history on a high visibility political internet message board. Such things are better suited to a private support group or professional therapist.

On Here and on other places online. I myself am not afraid to let people know I am a human being that has been through some bad shit.I am not ashamed of things I did not create that happened to me.Not my fault even though I was hurt by it. Trauma happens to all of us on some level.

So what did you mean? Because alot of people have posted personal things about themselves online.Are they in danger too?
I am curious are there people looking for stuff to blackmail people with or set people up or something?

Just wanted to know if DU was unsafe or something..

But there are lurking freepers who have nothing better to do than gather information and use it to harm people. I'm sure you are aware of the Andy Stephenson case.

The Internet is a wonderful tool that allows people to open up and vent, and it can be very cathartic to exorcise demons by sharing dark secrets. However there are those who would use that information to do you (and others like you)harm, sad though it is.

There is something wrong with a society that has a significant percentage of men who would rape if they could and a significant number of women who have been raped. Some of those men could be rapists, would be rapists, or friends of admitted rapists. Another unfortunate aspect of this is the phenomenon of gang rape and even so called decent men defending their rapist friends.
There have been threads about rape and rape culture. Perhaps it would be better to start a new thread on this or continue with the threads in the Feminist forum.
Don't take it personally. Just because they are on a liberal discussion board, doesn't mean that they share our values on this subject. It is not wrong to say what you feel. Don't ever think that. Take care.

myself similar questions alot lately....

And i have a tendency to either not trust anyone, or trust everyone- extremes.

As for validation, and confrontation..... i'm of many minds- i have made a conscious decision not to see or relate to the abuser in my life that did me the most grievous harm. And that person is now dying...which has triggered alot of issues, along with many of the things that are happening in the world...

Undergroundpanther, only YOU can decide what it is that you need to do in terms of making 'public' what you have experienced. That isn't an easy thing- but know this. YOU know the truth. You lived the truth. All the lies, denials, justifications etc. can never change that. I tried to minimize, justify, shove away, and discount my history for way too many years. But in doing that, i was killing myself, (by continuing to put myself in dangerous, destructive situations.)

People deny, discount, and dis-believe what is the 'worst' about humanity. Because they/we can't cope with the truth. But denial is no answer-

By all means stand up for what you believe is right- and call out those who knowingly or unknowingly perpetuate abuse and oppression. But, while you do that, be prepared to be met with anger and rejection, because people don't give up their illusions, or 'coping' mechanisms easily, or gently.- NO ONE can invalidate your experience, because you bear witness, and you KNOW the truth- even if it hurts like hell.

I wish you much comfort- i understand all too well, and my emotions and 'stability' have been all over the map lately.... but we keep on keeping on... as best we can- we are not alone... though, to be honest, i wish like HELL that only a tiny handful of people know what we know... that day will only come if we aren't willing to be discounted, or ... as i so often struggle with.... quit.

Peace,
blu