I feel terribly alone

that is all.

I can be kind of sensitive about the subject of mental illness and treatment. I know you've been struggling with depression a long time. It's probably one of the hardest illnesses for a doctor to make better and that makes it all the more dangerous. Depression claims lives and is a fierce opponent in the quest for mental equilibrium. Seek help when you need it; there's no shame in that. And, of course, come in here and say whatever you want to say. That's what this group is for. Peace.

I'd rather hear someone being real about the way they are feeling instead of faking being happy.

i love self depreciating humor...it shows you don't have a big ego.

this may help:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fb4IYpKYRA

those I cared most about so as not to worry them, those who had no business knowing, and those I knew would use it just to belittle me for their own satisfaction. Just knowing you're safe and understood, no matter where it comes from, can do so much to turn a really bad day into something manageable. Most people really do care and want to help.

to make it all seem fucked up, unbearable.
please take care of yourself. get lots of sleep, and see your doctor.
and whine away. we all do it here.

that is. However, please reach out whenever necessary, we're here. :hug:

I ask because, I sort of grew up with that feeling and later discovered, it wasn't mine. My mum has big attachment problems and although she didn't do it on purpose, she handed the whole bundle off to me. (I think it's some kind of habit in our extended family that the oldest kid "minds" the mom's problems.)

My ability to be close to people, reasonably and over time, sort of bugs in and out, even after a lot of work. But your OP made me realize, I never feel "alone" any more or, it's just a fleeting thought and not a pain at all.

But, I thought I'd ask because it turned out that I could manage my own feeling of being "alone" pretty well once I sorted out what was mine and what wasn't.

fwiw

that one child will assume a kind of redemptive, sacrificial role as a victim, a mute mediation, a bridge to bring together warring parents, for example?

My wife is a classic example. They take a lot of the strain on themselves, suffering vicariously in loco parentis! Her mother was shockingly domineering, so she was unable to develop a healthy self-image, even though she was blessed with exceptional good looks - which normally counts for a lot in this world. Did you ever see Terence Rattigan's play, Separate Tables? Well, her relationship with her mother was very like that.

As far as depression goes, I very seldom suffer from it, although in my youth I seemed to be bipolar. When I do feel depressed, I find that the only way to deal with it, is to accept it as a temporary affliction, which will pass in a matter of hours, or, in my case by the next day. Just let it flow over me.

I am alone b/c I do not feel like I can tell anyone really how bad it is, or why. Not even the person I am seeing as a counselor. This weekend was real bad.

Can it help to just come here and say how you feel and know you are ***not*** alone?

I think so.

good luck to you. and you probably know this, but a therapist can't help you with shit you don't tell them.

:grouphug:

in having things you don't want to share or find too difficult to share. I surely fit into that group.