Is it appropriate to photograph funerals?

I am, sadly, attending a military funeral for a high school friend today. Should I even consider taking my camera. I don't want to be inappropriate, and I don't want to bother the family by asking. I would like to photograph some of it for my own memories of my friend, but will forgo the camera if it was even remotely insensitive. Thanks for any thoughts.

Unless you take them from a distance with a long lens, I think it would be too disruptive. No one wants a camera in their face at a time like that. If you really want to take some pictures, I'd check with the family if it's ok. It depends on how they feel about it.

Sorry about your friend, tekisui.

I haven't been to many funerals, so I wasn't sure if it was something that people do. Thanks, Tindalos.

for what it's worth. Photography at funerals isn't new. People have been doing it for a long long time. I remember about 10 years ago when I was doing high school counseling I had a student who was unable to attend the funeral of a friend of hers who died suddenly. She was sad but said, "I saw the video." I thought it was kind of morbid, but it apparently is not that uncommon.

About 3 years ago I went to a funeral in Chicago of a dear cousin. It was January and it was snowing during the graveside service. I had a small point and shoot camera with me. I went back to the limo toward the end of the service because I was freezing. I thought about taking a shot of that last good-bye in the snow fall. I didn't do it. I doubt anyone would have even seen me doing it, but I didn't. I have always regretted not taking a picture of that final tribute.

Do what you feel is right and respect the wishes of the family. YOu may not be the only person who would be taking a photo or two.

Her youngest son was unable to attend as he lives over in Germany and it would've been over $4,000 to fly him home and back for the service. I think it would've been good to tape that so that he and his family could watch the funeral services.

I do know there's a funeral home that makes webcasts of funerals they perform for people in that sort of situation.

I thought about getting some pictures of grandma in her casket at the funeral home, a couple final pictures of her. I thought my mom wouldn't approve so I didn't take my camera. Come to find out a few days after the funeral that she had taken her camera up and gotten a few pictures of grandma laying in her casket. And my aunt got a couple with her own camera too. I'm glad they did that, that we have a few last images of her as we won't see her in this life ever again.

but now, with the funeral over as I suspect, it all happened as it should.
You asking is an example of the great sensitivity you display in the photos you take.
Your question reminded me of the time my grandson's great great grandmother died, and she was buried in a small crypt. He was about 3 and he had been very close to her. At the grave site he held a bunch of flowers and just as they put her into the crypt he stepped up, went in, and put the flowers on her casket.
The photo I took of that (I did have my camera, just because I just about always do) still makes her daughter, the great grandmother cry.

There were a lot of cameras there. The News media was there, even. It was a funeral for an Air Force F-16 pilot, full military honors. His plane crashed in training in Utah. I left my camera at home, and was glad I did.

I was crying most of the time, sobbing at time. I was far to involved to photograph a thing, and I knew that at some level. Many people record the event. I experienced it. It wasn't an easy thing to do.

:hug:

:hug:

At times, having a camera, and using it, enables one to emotionally detach from the event itself. In this case, that would not have been what you needed or wanted.

Remember the song about Mark in "Rent"? He shot documentaries, and he was accused in the song of being detached, and using his camera to distance himself from real life. There could have been a grain of truth to that.

Funerals of loved ones are definitely among those times.

It's tough when the thing's attached to your spinal fluid, like it is for some of us.

Makes things even more real, turns out, when the camera's put away. :grouphug:

It pissed me off till I took a deep breath and remembered that she was an appointment away from a straight jacket fitting.

Having seen many examples of funereal photos from the last couple of centuries here and there, I think it must have been a quite common and accepted practice at one time. I think these days, it is less so and probably considered morbid by many.

I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your friend. :hug:

I went to the funeral of a dear friend and asked the family if they would like pictures. They said yes and I was as unobtrusive as I could possibly be (ambient light only, zoon lens, and quiet). I put an online photo album together and sent the link. There was no casket, just a lovely portrait. The family was deeply touched and thankful.

Reading down the thread here, I have to agree I was "protected" emotionally by my camera but at the same time was investing a lot of emotion in seeing the photos and then arranging them later. It didn't feel at all morbid.

Here are some of the photos.

It is clear you were respectful and sensitive to the attendees.