Woah, i am so glad i found this group!

i am a total loner.
i like people, i just find it really hard to make friends.

:hi:

I am, by choice, a loner too. I must be honest and say that I don't like people. I don't really dislike them either, but when all is said and done I prefer my own company. I am not antisocial, but nonsocial. I am way past the point where I want to make new friends and am satisfied with the few friends that I do have. Although I am alone, I am not lonely. I enjoy doing what I want, when I want, without consulting anybody and I prefer to do what I want by myself. It is nice to be comfortable with who I am and not to be bent out of shape with being who I am not or being like somebody else. I once worked for a man who said that when he and his wife were young and had little kids that they were envious of another couple they knew who had no children and so they were free to travel and do as they pleased. He was surprise to find out that this couple was envious of him and his wife having kids and a family life. The grass is always greener, but not really. It just looks greener.

:hi:

I'm not a hard-core blogger/writer, but am encouraged through DU to have a sort of interaction that I've been hungry for, and this group is a part of that. Mostly since I thought that these "loner" issues were mine alone. There are actually many others whose feelings and opinions on this whole "solitude" topic dovetail with mine, and I find strength in knowing that there is nothing freakish in wanting to preserve some domains in my life that I can---indeed, must--- declare are MINE. I think that through this site and these heartfelt discussions I/we can find ground that alleviates the feelings of alienation, connecting us while preserving our personal sovereignty.

And is that not the essence of Democracy? :)

-Drum

Well at least that is the way it would seem to me, the wanta-be loner i am.

I also like people and do not really find it all that hard to make friends initially. The part i find difficult is the awkwardness of getting involved because often it brings out my defensive nature.

I have a hard time subduing that defensive part of me and explaining my positions when them kind of things happen. So when all said and done it kind of turns me into kind of person that i am. I don't try to do it but it does happen and it seems to be real turn off for both sides. Subsequently avoiding contact when possible seems like the logical alternative, thus the loner.

...and tend to tightly latch onto those few that I have....not in a smothering way, I just treasure them.

It's funny, I tend to befriend people who I call the "what you see is what you get" type. I have little tolerance for affectations, tests, and games.