I think I see why...

The situation: I have ailing parents, they've been married for 45 years (please, no cheers, it's hardly been happy, and they've quit acknowledging it years ago.) and my father is in a nursing home for rehab after hip replacement surgery. Since he's had the surgery, he isn't recovering quickly like the first time 10 years ago. My mother is at home, suffering from chronic asthma, and recovering from a bout of bronchitis. Problem is that the normal program of medication for mom didn't work like it did in the past. She's stressed because she can't take being alone. As rotten an SOB my father is, at least he was around and she didn't worry. Now, she's exhausted herself, can't drive or cook, and now us offspring, well, 2 of 3, the other lives on the far side of the metro area and is around at best weakly--and weekly. I had to do triple duty this weekend, stopping in Fri, Sat, and Sun, between that and attending the Renaissance Festival opening weekend (one brother is a cast member, and one of the lead characters) this weekend blew. :( I am so glad that I have a good position and cool boss who'll let me skip out early if the parents need a hand. She has to get better 'cause I can't do double duty.

The reason that this entry is here is that the idea of a miserable long-term relationship is unacceptable for me. My mom can't be alone to the point that she's almost an invalid. I have to remind her of the stuff she's learned over the years (which flew straight out of her head when stress sets in) and that dad is being well cared for (mostly, he's whining because he has to look out for himself, but that's another entry.) I can function alone, I can sleep if no one else is in the place with me. Anyway, they've got to get better, because being sick sucks. x(

I'm so sorry for all your family is going through, LA. :hug:

I know it sounds hard, but maybe look around for services for the elderly in your area. Maybe there is someone who can come and stay with your mother during the day: make sure she doesn't injure herself, takes her meds on time, fix her lunch, etc.

that's a good idea. I shall have to investigate that option. I hope that they don't charge much. :hug:

the United Way or maybe hook up with a social worker (there might be one where your dad is staying who can refer you to another one out in the community) who can put you all in touch with whatever is available in your community.