My contractor is driving me insane - I think he's getting senile

The problem is, he's a friend and came well recommended.

Any conversation with him at the best of times is difficult because he's hard of hearing and difficult to understand but it usually ends up like something out a vaudeville comedy routine eg. Abbott and Costello. We've put in a big, deep soaker tub, not your typical bathtub. I like my showers so hot I get dizzy.

Me: I want a handrail on the side of the shower so I've got something to hold onto if I feel dizzy. I want it about shoulder high.
Him: No, you want a handrail down low to help you get out of the tub when you're having a bath.
Me: OK, then maybe two rails, one low, one high.
Him: No, you want a handrail down low to help you get out of the tub when you're having a bath.
Me: If I'm standing up in shower and get dizzy, what to I hold onto.
Him: Don't hold onto the shower doors, they won't hold your weight. Use the handrail.
Me: So I should have a handrail up about shoulder level to hold onto if I get dizzy.
Him: No, you want a handrail down low to help you get out of the tub when you're having a bath.

A few minutes later...

Me: I'm worried about slipping and falling after I get out of the tub. Rather than having a flimsy towel rack next to the bathtub, I'm thinking about putting a handicap rail instead and hanging towels off that.
Him: The towel rack should go next to the bathtub.
Me: If I slip or get faint what should I grab onto?
Him: Don't hold onto the shower doors, they won't hold your weight.
Me: That's why I was thinking a handrail.
Him: Don't grab the towel rack, it won't hold your weight.
Me: Ok, so I was thinking the towel rack over the toilet out of the way and a handrail next to the tub.
Him: The towel rack should go next to the bathtub.
Me: If I slip or get faint... oh nevermind.

Yesterday: You can use the shower as soon as the (mumble mumble) dries. Should be about 1/2 an hour.
Today: You can't use the shower until the shower head connections are tight.

....later...

My daughter is allergic to dust and latex (eg. paint) so she's been camped out at her sister's. We've been using her room as a holding area for stuff about to be installed eg. vanity, shower doors, cabinets. He phones me up on the portable phone.

Him: You didn't build the kitchen cabinets.
Me: I was up 'til 2 a.m. building them. They're in the back bedroom.
Him: You mean downstairs.
Me: No, in Mary's room.
Him: Huh?
Me: Walk down the hall. See the bathroom? See my room? See the other room? THAT room.
Him: What about the doors?
Me: I can do the doors. You do what you do.

or even mark the damn wall where you want the handrail installed.

The best bet is to install one at an angle so it can be grabbed low down to get out of the tub or higher up to steady oneself in the shower.

The best bet at all for you is to go to the gimp store and get yourself an adjustable height shower stool. Most will fit in standard tubs and you'll never have to be afraid about getting dizzy in the shower again.

My mother grumbled and groaned when I bought hers. The first time she used it, she said it was the best shower she'd had in a long time. Once I got my dad to get a handheld shower head, she was really in heaven.

has become accustomed to doing everything his way. In the remodel game as it happens,many people don't really know what they want. They have a rough idea but no mind into the details. In many cases over the years the contractor fills in all the details,-that sounds like a good idea, what do you think, what would you do, do what you think is best ,we trust your opinion, some of the things people say to the contractor. Ask the man if he has ever done any specialty work ,hand rails,ramps ,so forth for disabled persons in their home.

Light switch's for instance in some places are lowered for the person in the wheel chair. Cabinets too, door handles. Double hand rails ! The contractor learns to look at the needs of the individual!

In business by the way, and it applies to construction contractors as well, it's all about costumer satisfaction. Tell him to turn his hearing aid up! Tell him I said so!

And ask the guy why you should have to have somebody come in behind him to finish what he refuses to do ,additional rails are not a code violation of any type, so, what's the problem? Ask him why does he seemingly refuse to hear anything he does not want to hear.

and I know enough to mark walls when someone else is doing the work.

You're right that people just don't know what they really want. When something they've picked out in a store doesn't work, they change their minds, driving the contractor nuts and driving their costs up. The same goes for putting in various types of hardware and even electrical outlets.

I drew plans 2 years ago and they haven't changed. None of the surfaces I want have changed. The only thing I've changed in that time is the paint color I want, and I'll be responsible for that part, not a contractor.

However, should I decide to keep this place and do the work, you can bet I'll be marking the walls where I want things to go.

How else will any contractor know just what you want. Guess work on the part of the contractor leads to doing it twice if the client is not satisfied. Nobody wants to do it twice to get it right and time is money.

I call clients at work on occasion to discuss particulars in a remodel phase, -sometimes I think this bothers them, even though I have their work direct line for that reason. They are always glad I called. The location of towel racks and positioning of lighting ,all those little details are very important in brining the job into finish.This is their vision ,that is what they paid for. It.s their money ,it's their home ,when you as a contractor have delivered adding to their ideas ,filling in the details ,a little bit of you is in their home. Those are little land marks to the contractor.

But than there are those that think it's all about them. And how they just love to talk about themselves and the things that they do.

When friends or relatives of happy clients call you as a contractor and say, you are highly recommended and the so and so's really enjoyed working with you, that's when you know that you are doing right by the trades and as a business person.

And that's who you are looking for to do the work on your home.
From the contractor stand point it's all about what you as the client want. It's not all about the things the contractor has done-,see the pretty pictures!

On a recommendation ,the client or potential client has already seen what you as a contractor can do! And they already have some idea of what you are capable of.

When a project goes very well for the contractor, it is because the level of communication between the client and the contractor was excellent from day one.

I worked in construction for a few years and had communication problems with many of the workers. They spoke very little English, I speak very little Spanish and no Bosnian. Solution, mark the unfinished project with paint as to where you want what. Just paint the objet on the wall, or in reverse, use marking paint (florescent orange) on area's you don't want them to remove something from. Worked well and brought the translation down to babble fish level (you type it in English, it translates, print and hand to worker).

I think it was his way of changing the subject so he did not have to do what I wanted him to do. Playing dumb

I had a plumber over to check on the shower kitchen taps and he said my guy had done everything perfectly. The problem was the existing hardware, not anything he'd done.

a water pressure increase . That was more than the existing fixtures could handle.

He hasn't shown up for two weeks. I ran into him and he asked "how's the kitchen counter going" - which he was supposed to help install. Then he disagreed with how I mounted the dishwasher, kept going on about a non-existent mounting kit, then announced he had to leave town for three weeks.

I got a bit of advice on how to do the floor and left it at that.

I gave him back some tools he'd left behind.

to rethink your plans than readdress all issues. Returning his tools was a very good thing to do.

Be interested to read how progress goes for you and if there are any questions I can answer for you I will be glad to.

I've got another thread going on it.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=287&topic_id=6253&mesg_id=6545