Hey, REV! Hear John CLEESE say, "I want to buy some CHEESE!"

*PLAY THE CLIP* --

High-speed: http://www.fieldingonline.com/video/jonokohigh.wmv
Mid-speed: http://www.fieldingonline.com/video/jonokomid.wmv
Low-speed: http://www.fieldingonline.com/video/jonokolow.wmv

*READ ALONG*
("Countdown" transcript EXCERPT, 4-30-2004)--

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

OLBERMANN: A dead parrot, some lovely spam, and the knights who say “Ni,” who wouldn‘t want to be a part of that? We‘ll meet those trying to join the Circus in our No. 2 story next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

OLBERMANN: This fall, I will celebrate 30 years of annoying my friends and co-workers with imitations and repetitions of the comedy sketches of the group Monty Python‘s Flying Circus. I‘ve done it on this program. And if it has been annoying you, I apologize. On the other hand, as our second story on the COUNTDOWN shows, it turns out I am hardly alone. There‘s a Monty Python movie in the works., not by them, but about them. And if you‘re going to have a Python movie, you‘re going to have actors who can do impersonations of the six men who made up the Python troop. And to find six good ones, you‘re going to go through a lot of bad ones. COUNTDOWN‘s Monica Novotny reports now on the auditions, where she saw a lot of the bad, the good, and the completely different. Monica, good evening.

MONICA NOVOTNY, NBC CORRESPONDENT: Good evening. That‘s putting it kindly.
Director David Eric Brenner, a Python addict himself, says he feels like he has won the lottery. His production company has licensed the rights to Graham Chapman‘s life and memoirs in order to make this movie. Now, so far, they have a name, “Gin and Tonic.” They have a Web site. They have the first draft of a script. And now all they need is a cast.

(BEGIN VIDEOTAPE)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE (singing): They won‘t play this song on the radio. I‘ll bet you they won‘t play this new song. It‘s not that it‘s bad or controversial.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Am I supposed to say something?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Shut up!

NOVOTNY (voice-over): There are fans and then there are fanatics.

DAVID ERIC BRENNER, DIRECTOR: When we announced this film, the e-mails immediately came flooding in. People were asking about the roles. Python fans essentially came out from wherever they were hiding.

NOVOTNY: Because devoted followers of Monty Python can‘t resist the call, auditioning for a chance to play one of the original Pythons in the soon-to-be-made film focusing on what life was really like for the British comic troop.

BRENNER: Really, they were the Beatles of comedy, so to speak. When they exploded, they were huge.

NOVOTNY: And though 26-year-old Jonathan Fielding (ph) was just a kid at the time, he was already busy spinning off their skits.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What‘s it say, sir?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I can‘t tell. It‘s either Hebrew or Latin. I never can tell the difference.

NOVOTNY: And today, he‘s on the ultimate quest.

JONATHAN FIELDING, ACTOR: It is the holy grail, of course.

NOVOTNY: Well, the Python version.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP, “MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL”)

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: ‘Tis but a scratch.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

NOVOTNY: Fielding is willing to do just about anybody for a shot at playing his idol, Graham Chapman.

FIELDING: Monty Python has used fish a lot. It is a big motif in their movies, their films. And so I thought it would be nice to have a fish going through my head.

NOVOTNY: Even flying across the country to L.A. just for a tryout.

At this audition, checking is a Python moment.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And your favorite color? Yellow?

FIELDING: No.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Red?

FIELDING: No.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Green?

FIELDING: No.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: White?

FIELDING: No.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Orange?

FIELDING: No.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Black?

FIELDING: Yes.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Please follow the black line.

FIELDING: Thank you.

NOVOTNY: And that‘s the idea behind the film, follow, but not too closely. For the faithful, that would be sacrilege.

BRENNER: If we were going out and going to redo the Monty Python sketch with other actors, we would fail miserably.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: What will they do to me?

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: Oh, you will probably get crucifixion.

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: Crucifixion?

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: Yes, first offense?

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: (INAUDIBLE) crucifixion.

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: It‘s the best thing the Romans ever did for us.

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: What?

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: If we did not have crucifixion, this country would be in a right bloody mess.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

NOVOTNY (on camera): Well, how much time do you have?

FIELDING: I have one minute.

NOVOTNY: One minute. So a beginning, a middle and an end. Something that‘s very funny.

FIELDING: Yes, but I found it.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: These mitts (INAUDIBLE)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

FIELDING: ... truly a lot of bread. So if you‘ll just step through here...

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: I‘ll slit your (INAUDIBLE)

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: What?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

NOVOTNY: And in a few moments, it is all over.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We‘ll call you. We‘ll call you names. You suck!

NOVOTNY: For now, Fielding waits for the callback, his hunger fueled by old friends.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: I want to buy some cheese.

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: Yes, certainly, sir. What would you like?

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: Well, how about a little red leicester?

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: I‘m afraid we‘re fresh out of red leicester, sir.

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: Ah. Stilton.

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: Sorry.

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: Gruyere, emmental?

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: No.

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: Any Norwegian Jarlsberg?

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: No.

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: Liptauer?

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: No.

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: Lancashire?

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: No.

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: White Stilton?

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: No.

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: Danish blue?

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: No.

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: Double Gloucester?

UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: No.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

(END VIDEOTAPE)

NOVOTNY: For those of you who just can‘t wait for “Gin and Tonic,” like yourself, in celebration of the 25th anniversary of “Life of Brian,” that film is being rereleased beginning tonight in New York and Los Angeles and, in the coming weeks, in theaters throughout the country. And a music based on “The Holy Grail” is scheduled to open in Chicago at the end of this year.

OLBERMANN: Best bit they ever did. And I‘ve always wanted to do it on a newscast. It is an interviewer. And he says, Mr. Bentist (ph) is sitting with us in our studios in Durham, which is rather unfortunate, in so much as we‘re all down here in London. I always wanted to do that. What happens next for these actor, fanatics, nerds like me? Have they chosen anybody from the group?

NOVOTNY: They‘re all in a holding pattern. Essentially, the director described the performances that day as ranging from the hilarious to the horrific. And they‘ve decided that they actually will come to New York after all and do an audition. That happens in June. And then late this summer, they‘re going to go to London. They have very high hopes for London. So, right now, everyone who has auditioned is on hold. They‘ll call back after London.

OLBERMANN: Well, all right, I‘m covered in case we bail out on this show.

NOVOTNY: That‘s right.

OLBERMANN: COUNTDOWN‘s Monica Novotny, Brie, roquefort, Pont l‘Eveque, Port Salut, Savoyard?

NOVOTNY: No. No.

OLBERMANN: Saint-Paulin, Carre-de-l‘Est.

NOVOTNY: No.

OLBERMANN: Bresse-bleu?

NOVOTNY: No.

OLBERMANN: Boursin?

NOVOTNY: No.

OLBERMANN: No, you‘re supposed to say, sorry, sir, the van broke down.

Many thanks.
-------------

Floaties for Kahuna & Gidge: :loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya::loveya:

But I am willing to consider a long weekend getaway. O8)

To Gull Bay? ;-)

PS - Had you seen that Countdown show before?

Or the wine cellar. :D

(yes, I think I remember that show!)

... -- which he seemed to think were numerous -- but I will from now on.

From another website I learned that at one time he considered Mystery Science Theater 3000 the best show on TV.

I thought it was funny. Now I wish I'd watched it more -- like I wish I'd watch SportsCenter when he was on w/ Dan. His interplay with certain guests, as well as with Monica (well illustrated on this clip), show a desire for a sidekick sometimes, I think, and often brings out the best of his comic side.

Hey! I warned you: after Easter, I will come forth in full Snarkarella form.

Ta-DAH!! (as Jesus said to his disciples on Easter)

... I can't even imagine how much things are going to change around here.

Skinner may end up shutting our clubhouse down until we scrub the graffiti off the walls. As a matter of fact, I saw some liquid references in the "Keith" thread and asked my husband,"Do you think they mean what I think they mean?!" :o

He does, however, lease the property upon which the clubhouse resides.

As to the other matter... well, it's Sparky. What do you think?

Actually, it's a shout-out to a perfectly innocuous post, where Bleev said that "Sparky should be applied liberally." To which, I innocently O8) replied "How does one apply Sparky liberally? Does he come in liquid form?"

It was his response that did it: "sometimes. :smoke:"

. . . and don't try to tell me you didn't realize what you were saying -- considering who all were present! }(

yeah, that ClassWarrior is a bad influence. :evilgrin:

... ENCOURAGEMENT!

(And don't think I didn't notice how neatly you side-stepped the issue! :-))

"It's hard work to side-step with two left feet." - blivet.

... have you RE-PROGRAMMED!
(With KO quotes. :loveya:)

(whispering) "I made that one up." ;)

Speaking of UP, I thought I was the only one still awake.

One would think you'd be on your butt, Rev!

Of course I'm on my butt!!!

I had a nap this afternoon. Now I'm just giddy. :bounce:

... O8) She's overtired from serving you, and she can't settle down!
-------

Rev, you haven't said how your mega-snark will express itself. Wanna give me a hint?

But we will have to wait and see what pans out.

Sparky promised me a spanking tonight. :bounce:

I'll hope you'll both be very happy. ;-)

I'm glad that Lent is over and you have the time to re-set your snark to full throttle.

Now I'm yawning and can't stop.

Good night, WG, and pleasant Keefcake Dreams to you! :loveya:Keith

... and thanks for the dream suggestion.

The other night I dreamed I was working in an office. Everyone had gone to lunch or something because I was holding the fort by myself. I had the radio tuned to some really good dance music, and someone came through the door -- just as I was TWIRLING! :-)

Keep a dream journal - you can add to it daily, when you wake up.

(I've actually done this - it can be *quite* revealing!)

... my prayer worked really fast! (You were yawning even as I posted it!:boring:)