The best website about my profession I have EVER come across.

http://www.geocities.com/alysabethc/strippers.html

Relevant articles:
http://www.geocities.com/alysabethc/feministstripper.html

Power to the Penis or Viva la Vulva?
The Feminist Stripper

"Some anti-porn feminists don't seem to realize that it's THEY who ostracize their sisters from the inner sanctum of feminism for making the 'wrong' decisions. I didn't think feminism was about women thinking alike. I thought it was about women thinking for themselves. The moment you stop fighting for and guarding the right of ALL women to make decisions for themselves without having to answer to others, you forfeit your right to honestly define yourself as a feminist. It seems to me that true feminine empowerment will come to its full fruition when seeing a woman as a sexual, exciting, inviting creature doesn't mean disregarding the rest of her. Women's sexuality is amazingly compelling, and like love, the more you expend, the more you have to give. I don't lose power or dignity because I arouse people. Arousal isn't abuse. It doesn't have to be about power. It can just be about delight."

http://www.geocities.com/alysabethc/responsibility.html

From the Peanut Gallery:
Strippers and Social Responsibility

"I get a little mail from time to time. Some of it is supportive, some is thoughtful, some hostile and a certain percentage of it is just pointless. I am often asked why someone as intelligent and politically and socially aware as I seem to them to be (as if it were impossible for strippers to be any of those things!) 'wastes' my time and energy on the issues surrounding sex work and erotic recreation."
(What follows is a letter she responded to. I encourage you to read...)

http://www.geocities.com/alysabethc/why.html

Why Would a Woman Want to Become a Stripper?

"One thing that is common to virtually all strippers is that, regardless of their original motivation, they have looked past a widely held convention of society and examined something for its innate value and for its potential benefit to them. Yes, some women are desperate, whether through divorce or other unfortunate circumstance, when they start dancing. However, any person who remains unemployed for long enough after personal difficulty is bound to become desperate after a while, and the next job they take will then, by definition, be out of desperation. If you’re divorced, uneducated, or homeless and you take a job washing dishes or mopping floors and don’t like it, is your choice more valid somehow? Lives of quiet desperation are the desolate territory of all mankind."


I wish I had written most of this; it says almost everything I have always wanted to say about what I do. I hope that you find it informative in some way.

:hi:

Here's another article that probably matches my belief system:

http://pajamasmedia.com/2008/03/ive_seen_my_share_of_spitzers.php

I've Seen My Share of Spitzers: The View From an Escort Service
March 13, 2008 11:15 AM

The disgraced former NY governor is not alone, writes “Ruth Henderson,” a former booking agent for high-priced Manhattan call girls.

snip

One high-powered New York attorney explained it to me like this: “Of course I love my wife. Escorts have nothing to do with that. She comes to my hotel room and I don’t have to know her name, because they all use fake names like Amber and Kimberly. I don’t have to worry about how she feels or what she wants. It’s a simple exchange: I give her a thousand bucks, we have a good time for a couple of hours, she goes away and we never have to see each other again.”

A thousand dollars is nothing for these men. Money has little value; because no matter how hard they try they will never be able to spend their hundreds of millions. And if you are about to say that for a thousand bucks those girls must supply the best sex in history, then you really do not understand this world. Because it is not about sex; it is about power. And the simple act of ordering up an anonymously pretty 22 year-old girl to do your bidding in the salubrious confines of a luxury hotel suite is an act of power.

snip

Yes, I did become cynical, jaded and confused. On the one hand I could not deny the basic reality of supply and demand. None of these girls was coerced into selling her body for money. Most of them came from middle-class backgrounds, and many had been accepted to universities. But they dropped out as soon as they discovered that they could make $20-30,000 a month as an escort.

Then they got addicted to the money and the lifestyle. And then one day, usually between the ages of 25 and 28, once they’d developed that knowing, experienced look that clients instinctively disliked, they found that themselves in a classic bind: they were addicted to high living but could no longer pay for it; they had no marketable skills; and years of late nights and lazy days had left them with no self-discipline. What to do? The really smart ones pulled themselves together and, with the help of a sympathetic client, started some kind of a business. Others married rich, cynical, older men in a sort of paid-wife arrangement. Those were the most common stories. I did not inquire into the fate of the girls who sort of faded away. I did not want to hear about their loneliness and poverty.

seems to be more based in the reality.

*live* in the reality, I cannot agree.
Just felt all sides needed to be presented.
I am 34,btw.

who HAS *lived* in the reality, and who has not.

i'd be willing to guess that there are women, lo even in the Feminists Group on DU, who have lived in the reality, and who agree with "Ruth Henderson", who has also lived in the reality.

i do hope that since you are 34, you are saving your money and planning for the day when your shelf life as an arouser will be over. just like professional sports, professional sex work has a "best used before" date. some stretch it, some meet it earlier than others, but all will reach it.

i also think that by the time you are 54, you may think differently about the work you did as a young woman, and about men and women in general.

I personally know of several over-50 professional dominatrixes. Not all women have a "shelf life" in the sex industry.

First, stripping is not a "profession". It's an occupation. A profession is an occupation (and its practitioners) that is subject to codes of conduct and discipline for breaches of the code. These days, professions exercise authority assigned to them by the public, i.e. by law, to regulate the practice and practitioners of the profession in the public interest.

Law, medicine, engineering and the like are professions. The services they involve are essential to the public, and the public has an interest in how they are practised. Stripping and performing sexual services for pay, like washing dishes in restaurants and selling advertising, are occupations.

It seems to me that true feminine empowerment will come to its full fruition when seeing a woman as a sexual, exciting, inviting creature doesn't mean disregarding the rest of her. ... It doesn't have to be about power. It can just be about delight."

And men don't have to abuse the women they live with sexually, physically and psychologically. Unfortunately, some of them do. Perhaps we should ignore that reality too. There are lots of realities we could ignore, and just say "it doesn't have to be about pain and poverty and powerlessness, it can be about _______". We should try that. Imagine how nice that imaginary world would be, and how happy and carefree and empowered the women working as strippers in it would be.


Why does a woman become a stripper? Why do I care? Do I care why a man becomes a member of a fundamentalist religious group that propagates ideas I find abhorrent?

Well, yes, I do care. Because if I understand why people do such things, I can work to create the conditions that will be less likely to lead to people doing abhorrent things, and of course to lead to people being victimized and exploited. Other than that: I don't.

Of course, I care more about the conditions that lead to people doing the more abhorrent things done by the men who pay for the services of strippers and prostitutes and by the people who organize the religions that prey on converts. They are the real problems. If it weren't for their vile behaviours, there would be nothing vile for someone else to become complicit in, whether through "choice" or exploitation.


I didn't think feminism was about women thinking alike. I thought it was about women thinking for themselves.

Hey, sure. Phyllis Schlafly is a woman. She thinks for herself. Ergo she is a feminist / her choices must be embraced by feminists.

Yeesh.

I suggest we all feel free to think for ourselves, or think we think for ourselves. Demanding that everyone else approve of our actions is really quite another matter.



typo fixed

With the production of the Scarlet Letter going on in GD. :hug:

I wish the folks who are against sex work would see the irony of denigrating sex workers in the name of feminism. It's one thing to be against the occupation but there is no need to disrespect the workers. Some of the language really isn't that different than that of the misogynists. I see a blatant lack of respect from some people and it's disturbing.

...for saying what I can't find the words for at the moment(headache). I hope you don't mind me attaching myself to your post and saying it speaks for me as well. :hug::hi:

I hope you feel better too. :hug:

I've avoided almost all of these threads on GD. I hope I showed no disrespect with my posting another article.

And we can have sensible ones in here, unlike in GD where it's either stone the harlot or comment on whether or not you'd "hit it". :eyes:

I'm glad you posted that article.

the s-e-x element throws a harsh light on the life of a worker under capitalism. We are almost all in the business of selling our labor. We repress ourselves and accept discrimination and infringments on our rights for the sake of a meal and a roof over our head. The iniquities suffered by the sex worker are totally different from those borne by us in cubicle farms or call centers, stooped over in produce fields or behind counters. To set the sex worker entirely apart is to stigmatize him or her further.

ooff, typo changes the meaning of the whole thing.

I'll never think "sex work" is good or empowering for women, however, if in your journey you help just one sister less fortunate, less strong, less bright than you seem to be--one of the fallen-- I'd be grateful.


Consider this; take two people, heterosexual. One male, one female. Neither considered particularly attractive. Both significantly overweight. They're horny, lonely or both. The male has many options for sexual relief, not only can he go to a strip club if he's so inclined, he'll be treated to a fantasy for an hour or so, a way of pretending. If he's a good hearted man, he'll like the women, while knowing they have boyfriends, husbands other lives. (If he's an asshole, I'm sure I don't have to tell you what he's like) The female has, what? Harlequin romances? Does she dream of romance rather than orgasm? Both? What outlet? Woman are told we want relationships. Do we really?

When either walks down the street, who do you think suffers the most? Neither are sexually desirable by current standards, but the women's entire life has been encompassed by messages that to be desirable is to be of value. He gets messages that sexual activity itself makes him valuable.

Men can be very lonely, aside from sex of course, but the way our society is structured is to offer them sexual solace anytime they want it. Male entitlement expects it, and men--and certain women-- get upset if this entitlement is threatened. Women are trained from birth in sexual presentation. Why should we? Men are trained from birth to expect it. Why should they?