Where the Men Are:

Where the Men Are:
Historic feminist conference convenes In Minnesota

By Shira Tarrant

What does the feminist movement need from men?

That was the question posed at the outset of the first National Conference for Campus Based Men’s Gender Equality and Anti-Violence Groups, convened on the campus of St. John’s University in Collegeville, MN., last weekend.

This was no drum-beating, fire-in-the-belly, touchy-feely gathering in the woods; it was serious business. Can men really work toward a feminist agenda?

Longtime activist-scholars Michael Kimmel, Michael Kaufman, Harry Brod and Gar Kellom think so. They organized the event, which brought together more than 200 men—and women—from 40 college campuses. Among the participants were representatives from 24 community groups, including Men Can Stop Rape, V-Men and White Ribbon.

Gender justice filmmakers Byron Hurt (Hip-Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes) and Nancy Schwartzman (Where Is Your Line?) were on hand to screen videos about pop culture, sexuality, masculinity and assault. Speakers emphasized accountability, authenticity and continued hard work, and no one could ignore the heat generated by unresolved issues of race, class, gender and sexuality. The second plenary session was interrupted by angry shouts from the floor by men tired of carrying collective guilt for other men’s violence. Several attendees conceded that the movement has yet to figure out constructive ways of grappling with men’s power and their fears in order to work effectively in partnership with women."

http://msmagazine.com/Fall2009/wherethemenare.asp

Can't have touchy feely wit da mens now. Looks like we got dialog at least, even with the poor, abused, downtrodden men and their silly shouting in the background. "Collective Guilt"? It's called collective responsibility motherfucker. Man up, as you all like to tell each other. So fucking hormonal. Testosterone is a bitch----oh wait...


I found this last bit of interest. The first sentence reminded me of my favorite idiocies on DU.


"With “men’s rights” groups launching attacks against feminist progress and rates of violence against women remaining outrageously high and massively underreported, the gender justice movement needs strength in numbers. Schroeder and Hendrickson want to help recruit. “If you think feminism is bullshit, go check it out for yourself and then talk to me,” is one of the lines they plan to use. “Be open-minded enough to hear it and man enough to get involved. Just try it. What do you have to lose?”

Exactly.

I continually have a hard time understanding why men find it threatening that women want to be equal and not the victim of violence. Somehow discussing these goals makes a lot of guys scared, I guess they have had it pounded into them that feminism really means women taking over and taking all their opportunities away. The sad fact is that the false media-driven idea of masculinity quite possibly harms men as well as women. Women are starting to outnumber men noticeably in higher education, I can't help but wonder what role the media image of manhood being about "toughness" and physical prowess rather than intelligence plays in this disparity?

She's been a public health nurse in a couple of different areas, so she knows how bad it really is out there. She was saying something I've heard before, to the effect that males, having to redefine what's masculine are adrift, confused even, about their roles. She brought up one of her own recent relationships as an example, evidently the guy wanted to do "guy things"--things she's not only perfectly capable of doing, but having been brought up in a feminist household, never thinks twice about doing. (She and I discuss the challenges of being heterosexual feminists, ones who really do like men)

Now, here was a red flag for me, she said went ahead and let him do what made him feel more 'masculine'. My problem with that is I refuse, absolutely refuse, to take responsibility for arbitrary 'male' behavior. It's not my shit, although women have to always, always pay the price for it. My friend and I then started talking about the female, the feminine and femininity, and I told her what's true for me, I've learned over many lessons and years, to define those things for myself and NOT let the fucking media tell me what's important about being a woman, or even what one is. When I'm grumpy or irritable, I don't see my way clear to why men aren't capable of doing the same. They rely on the feminine to define masculine half the time. Fuck that.

So while I agree that macho media images are harmful, men get more benefit out of them than not, and will continue to do so as long as women continue to be the sex class. They won't challenge in numbers great enough, although the article I posted is a very good sign I think.

The college thing, you may be right, but I suspect that women recognizing they have more choices in life, marriage, children, etc. has more impact. Women have been held back in education for centuries. It will be interesting indeed, to see the outcome of educated women who start to question the status quo, as every healthy educated women I've ever met does. (And healthy uneducated ones for that matter)

The women who have taken damage, well that's a little different. They're immersed in patriarchy and don't choose to challenge it.

Good post, good article, and I was able to use it in the Womens' Rights group to give a glimpse of reality to an MRA who is whining that domestic violence support services are "sexist" because they're mostly geared towards female victims of male abuse. Damn the statistics, full whine ahead!!!

when so many think "men's rights" groups even need to exist.

but men like Don McPherson give me hope.

http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/omag_200210_beaman/1
http://www.womensenews.org/story/commentary/030226/men-must-join-women-end-violence-against-women

If more men like him - influential "manly" men - will simply stop staying silent and speak up about this stuff, maybe we will see large numbers of men divorcing themselves from the ill-gotten gains of patriarchy.

However, I think women have a role to play as well. As long as large numbers of women are content to be used as decorations and demeaned as meaningless bits of fluff or toys to be used and cast aside, or even to simply defend such things as 'no big deal', or stand silently and not say anything... I think we will be held back in our efforts to achieve true equality.

It is very interesting.

Like yourselves, I have been hopelessly frustrated by the obdurateness of men in regards to feminism...It IS good that they could at least be brought to "dialog" on it...But I'm not too surprised at the goofs getting angry at their supposed "collective guilt" bearing.

Can you imagine having a Racial conference in which Blacks and Whites came together only to have a group of white people freak out over "caring the collective guilt" of white racists?...Hello?!...Never would have happened. They would have been labeled as freepers and most likely such people would never have come in the first place.

As for the continuing mysogyny of even so-called "progressive" men, I'm afraid I have a new offering...I picked this off of the True Crime forum where they were discussing Truman Capote's "In Cold Blood".

Someone lauding Capote's work had this to say:

"In Cold Blood" is a masterpiece, and as Faulkner once said, "One masterpiece is worth one hundred old ladies"

"Old ladies" still don't count for much it seems...No one on the thread confronted him on it.

When you think about it, it's an absolutely appalling thing to say. You can imagine the "acceptability" had Faulkner substituted "..a hundred elderly men"...or even "a hundred human beings".

The fact that this was quoted on a progressive blog with NO reaction is, IMO, sickening.

when a young woman makes fun or disrespects an old woman. What's that German word?

I laugh in her face....tell her she better die young.