Man has sex with 13 year old girl, gets her pregnant and her parents make

her marry him.

Im appalled that people defend this on the grounds that "my grandparents were that far apart too...it was normal until recently!"

Yes let's keep all laws from the 1920s...when women were property.


http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=4198342&mesg_id=4198342

Not too much else to say here, just...horrifying.

Thank you for sharing this. It is one of the reasons I am so opposed to the parental notification law.

Many years ago, a member of my family got pregnant at 16. Her mother forced her into marriage, and threatened the young man with statuatory rape charges if he did not comply (he was 18). Unfortunately, they did marry. No, it did not last, but that's a whole other story.

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This has not been the case in all the studies I've seen. It definitely wasn't the case in the situation I described where the young woman was forced into marriage and to have the child.

I'd be interested in seeing these stats, if you know where the studies are...

It was linked on a blog and we were laughing about it. I tried to google it but I guess I'm not using the right phrases.

I apologize if the tone of my post seemed that I was doubting you or your information. It honestly just came as a surprise to me. I sincerely just wanted to read it--for my own knowledge on this issue.

Thanks for trying to google it for me. I appreciate it! :hi:

It's like people have never considered that their grandmothers might have had other plans for their life...only to be dictated into marriage by a society that held truly warped opinions about women.

business arragement--between the men to be married and the men who let them marry their daughters. This was how many men became land owners--they married into it.

Marriage had very little to do with love, marriage, or even children. It was a means for men to secure property. In time, they generally obtained people (men) to work on that land, as the women had children (boys) that could help them. Girls (considered to be) just there to help the women with the livestock, cooking, cleaning, etc.

Where all this morality and need for it to be about women having to have marriage to be deemed an appropriate parent, or to give permission for pregnancy is beyond me... :shrug:

No one should be forced to marry--no more than anyone should be forced to continue a pregnancy if they don't want to.

They claim "once she starts puberty evolution says it's ok for her to have sex"

Which is utter crap. Im still waiting for one of those posters to answer my question.

The youngest mother in the world was five years old. She started her period at three. According to those posters, it would be ok for a 21 year old to have sex with a 3 year old.

A 13 year old child, boy or girl, has no real understanding of sex and intimate relationships...they aren't old enough or mature enough to enter into a sexual relationship

It's adults taking advantage of children who might crave attention, children who think it's "cool" that some older man or woman wants to have sex with them (because the child has no real sense of self worth)..and the adult is certainly lacking in any self-respect.

It's adults using that vulnerable age of both genders, when they are experiencing new feelings, with their bodies and hormones going wild...they are preying on the child so they can take sexual advantage of the child

It's coercison and manipulation...and it's no different from physically overpowering the child. There was nothing consensual about that relationship in the article.

And yes, from reading the comments, those people would think it's OK to have sex with a 5 year old..since that's exactly what they're defending.

he has good intentions. "Oh he's not such a bad guy, or he wouldn't have married her". Riiight, because men (or women) never have extramarital affairs, abuse their spouses, neglect their children or are a drain on their families when they are married.

Maybe they can add that one to possible punishments for rape- if you'll only marry the victim, no jail

Sick.Sick.Sick.

I had crushes on older men, but it was more a matter of following them around all dreamy-eyed and getting giggly in their presence.

The idea of having sex with them or anyone never entered my mind. Sex was all mysterious and distant in those days.

Remember that section of the film Coal Miner's Daughter where Loretta Lynn is all happy about getting married at age 13 until she finds out about sex--on her wedding night?

Note that it was mostly male posters who were defending the marriage of a 13-year-old and claiming that the older guy "really loved her."

My mom told me that until I graduate from high school would NOT date anyone more than two years older, because there was something wrong with an older man who went after young girls.

I recall reading a study of girls who bore children in their early teens. In most cases, the father of the baby was over 21. (And I doubt that most of those fathers were still around either.)

sex. At 13 you are just in the early stages of "my" body and how people around react to it. It's a very critical time - and with predators around, it can be a very dangerous time. 13 yo girls will flirt, they're learning about "adult-like" interactions/it's all new to them. 13 yo girls will want to attract attention, they're flattered - but that doesn't mean they're ready for sex or marriage or childbirth.


Predators take advantage of young people who are entering that stage of development. Healthy (minded) adults understand that stage and don't encourage improper behavior.

Some people don't seem to understand that rape just isn't the knife to the throat and being overpowered physically. Rape happens through coercion and manipulation as well.

the decisions forced on her at the age of 13...

This is just so disturbing to me.

There is something very wrong with a much older man that is 'into' very young girls--no matter how they try to frame it.

my boyfriend's daughter turns 15 next week and now wants all the rights and privilages of an ADULT.

She has this boyfriend who we think is nearing 18 and he seems to have some weird control over her. His daughter's mother is letting her actually stay at this boy's house and put her on the pill (I know, that is actually a good thing) so she is no help.

But my boyfriend is beside himself...his daughter actually asked for the boyfriend to come for the weekend visit with her - my boyfriend lives in a one room studio apartment. I can't imagine what the daughter thinks the sleeping arrangements will be. She apparantly thinks dad should just accept and allow her to sleep with this kid under his roof.

there are people in that thread going on about "thats how it's always been" and the onset of Puberty.

Does not prosecuting statutory rapists fail young girls? I know that the great majority of statutory rapes don't get prosecuted. In some cases, the younger party doesn't feel like a victim. In some cases, the victim may feel victimized but feel that she she would not be taken seriously if such a think is normal where she lives. Even worse is where the victim is blamed.
I remember reading a while back about a sex ring involving a fifteen year old girl which involved the young adult boy, his father, step mother, and a couple of other people. I remember hearing comments that it was really no big deal because the girl consented to it (Wisconsin law age of consent is 18, with under 16 being a greater crime). A fifteen year old girl should know whether or not she wants sex.
I think that when we minimize these crimes, especially for younger girls, who not even in high school, victimized by adults, that we send a message that such a thing is alright and that a young girl who feels like she was taken advantage of is wrong to report it. What message does it send to adult men too?