Pornography, rape, power, control, etc.

Feminists and advocates for women have long said that rape is a crime of control, that it's not a crime about sex and that sex is just the chosen weapon. To be perfectly honest I just assumed that everyone 'got it' but I'm seeing that I was wrong, there are legitimate questions about rape being about control and I'm going to try to tackle them here....

It is also a world of selfishness, they(boys) learn that they can do and say almost anything they want to girls while they are still very young. From the time that they pull that first ponytail in second grade, on up to the time that they begin snapping bra-straps and looking up the stairs in order to see the girl’s panties. They learn that most of their behavior is tolerated and excused and that, in fact, girls are the acceptable target of their violence....

Teenage boys are told that sex is what they're after. And, to that end, almost anything goes in a boy’s acquisition of sex. Sex, "makes you a man", sex, and having sex, are ways to claim power.... Entire movies have been devoted to making men lose their virginity. Even adult men who are seemingly powerful with decent jobs aren't really powerful until they get laid. And even though every man has awoke the next morning to find that they’re not different the propaganda continues, the message continues to be enforced and reinforced until it becomes almost automatic....

In pornography women not only become objects, they become animals and the men looking at porn not only don’t respect the women but they also come to feel anger towards them. Even progressing to outright hostility. They see men acting in horrific, derogatory ways and they see that the women like it and even deserve it. Pornography is not only a reflection of these power/submission ideals; it is an active espouser of the same ideals. It tells men that it’s good for them to do these things to women. That women deserve it and like it....

Conversely, we are inundated by just how horrifying it is when women say “No”. Over anything, it is common knowledge that a simple “No” from a woman is a horrifying thing to have happen and that those words alone will strip a man of every shred of dignity and power.

Don’t believe me? See if this rings a bell.

In sitcoms, movies and the like we watch the sympathetic camera follow our hero at a club, he approaches the young, beautiful woman and says, "May I buy you a drink?” His eyes are bright, his manners impeccable. Suddenly, the camera slows down and turns to the beautiful woman, her faces screws up into a mask of disgust and revulsion; her once pretty features turn almost harpy-like as she surveys our hero. "No" she says, her voice dripping with disgust and scorn. The camera has now slowed to a crawl and the "No" is dragged out to sound like, "Nooooooo”. We watch as the hero’s face falls, the light goes out of his eyes, the camera resumes in normal speed, “I wouldn't let YOU buy me a drink if you were the last man alive" she turns, and in a flurry of movement she disappears. Our hero is crushed and we watch his face fall as every single man looks at him with barely concealed scorn and pity. He is a failure, he is beaten and she has embarrassed him and defeated him. He slinks away, his power stolen by the vindictive bitch who told him "No".

This scenario is repeated time and again, with varying hitches. Sometimes it’s the well-meaning boyfriend who has taken his unwitting girlfriend to lovers lane. When he tries to lovingly kiss her she pushes him away and says “No” the music takes a dramatic turn. Our poor, neglected boyfriend looks more like a kicked puppy than anything and he looks around to see all the other men in all the other cars “getting some”. We feel pity for him, why? Because that cold, callous bitch said, “No”.

Stan Goff (Excerpted from KPFK interview): Everybody loved me when I was the left's Green Beret alpha male, as soon as I started critiquing gender as a system of social power people became allergic. Actually that's is not true across the board. In fact, in making this critique, I have seen some people shift, to become curious and begin the process of them being critical of the process themselves. So I think really what is to be done in the immediate future, I think this is a debate that has to take place very vigorously on the left first because that's where the impetus for social change tends to come from. Feminists and Leftists are natural allies, and the reason they've been in this no fault divorce for so long, I think, is laid at the doorstep of the male left. So I would ask them in the past in the same way they had to become self critical about how they had internalized racism and other issues that they also have to become critical about how they are complict in Patriarchy as a system of unequal social power.

http://www.hustlingtheleft.com/CRAPP_E_LIB/audio/index.html