Traci Lords

I was watching the A&E Biography of Traci Lords tonight. Why is it so hard for the people from the porn world to believe that she was victimized? That she was an abused kid acting out based on the horror of her environment?

It really pissed me off that Ginger Lynn (former porn star, Charlie Sheen's ex, addict, etc.)would say she felt that Traci enjoyed every minute of it and that she wasn't victimized at all. What the hell is wrong with her? Has her past in porn made her completely numb to the fact that many women (and girls) from abused backgrounds find their way to porn? Her comments that Traci somehow scammed the entire industry so she could benefit left me particularly cold.

Sorry, I just had to rant. It disturbs me so much when women talk shit about other women this way, and seem incapable of any sort of compassion or empathy. Kind of the way rape apologist women on DU irk me.

They're talking about their own denial, the denial that helps them get through another day in that industry.

While I'm sure there are some young women who walk into the porn industry with their eyes wide open, having failed to get the legitimate movie industry to notice their looks and talent and thinking that somehow being a big star in the back of the video rental place is equivalent to being a big star in the front of it, most are sucked in when they're drinking and drugging to escape a painful past. That's why they talk trash about other women in it. They're terrified of confronting their own demons.

...and thank you for pointing this out to me. :hi: I guess I forget how similar all dysfunctional systems are.

Based on what you said, Ginger Lynn has said all of the money she made in the industry went up her nose. :eyes: I've always wondered at what point someone says to themself, (if ever) "...If I have to be high to do this, why am I doing it?" :banghead:

For someone like that, it's more convenient and less personal work to just blame the victim.

All the women that I knew of that previously claimed to have gone in the industry with their eyes wide open, have later confessed to having been raped, molested or abused long before entering. I've heard such admissions from the porn queen, Jenna Jameson as well as the pin-up queen Pam Anderson.

'learn' that sex is their value.

I read some statistics the other day...22% of rapes are girls under the age of 12. That really hit me. Nearly a quarter. Just makes me so sad and angry that men can be so cruel....and as a culture, we don't seem to hold these men accountable. The police don't spend the time on these cases. And I've read that DNA from rape kits sit on shelves at labs for months. Why can't our tax dollars go to putting these rapists in jail?

I always enjoy your posts as they are so informative! :hi: I appreciate your input on my thread. :hi:

I wonder what could be done about pedophiles. Think about the girls that are accosted in their own families. So often, the family system is so sick they aren't even aware that it's wrong.

I have a friend that tells me her grandfather openly flirted with a younger relative at her wedding. :puke: Yes, they were related. What really sickened her (and me) was the fact that another relative related the story to her, as if it were humourous and cute. She didn't get at all how inappropriate it was for him to speak that way to his niece.:puke: What's worse is, he's been doing this shit for years in their family. No one's ever held him accountable--except maybe my friend.

She recovered memories of molestation many years ago and distanced herself from much of her family. She was guilted into inviting some of them to her wedding. She thought it would be ok, until she learned of this and realized they are all sick and she can't have anything to do with any of them. :(

My friend recalled being molested by her father, but knows now that this guy molested her, too. :( She used to wonder about strange memories she had of times she spent at his home growing up.

Oh and back to my original point--for many years she wanted to pose in men's magazines. Felt like it was something she just "had to do."

The "sex positive" feminists, the ones who support the sex industry as a empowering choice, something I would buy into if I didn't know the ugly reality.
Once in a while a sex worker seems to have no issues, or has overcome them, loves to give and receive pleasure but this always is the exception in my experience. The clients, however, nearly always have "issues" from sexual insecurities to outright misogyny.

I caught a bit of some show, where a couple had engaged the services of a prostitute. The wife passively watched as her new husband had sex with the other woman. The husband's fantasy was two women, but the wife felt she needed to "work her way up to it" The prostitute thought that this couple had a very open and healthy sexual relationship. All I could think was that it was doomed because that kind of sexual enlightenment can't exist in a patriarchy.

but I guess, if that's what they are in to. :shrug: Is it really something she has to work up to? Or does she just not want to engage in such activities?

I try not to get into labeling others' sexuality or sexual preferences. I know that everyone is different, and one person's heaven is another's hell. But I will say, that's not something that I would want to participate in.

Yes, I've heard some of those women say it is empowering--only to have them later say they did have prior issues. Interesting, isn't it? I wonder if the "I do it because I want to" stuff comes from not wanting to look like a victim--like someone that is not in control and merely acting out of what the abuse erroneously taught them about themselves (that they are sexual objects).

I have certain objections, of course to what I consider sexual exploitation and indoctrination.

It just seems human beings are so backward, that when we try to be sexually free, it turns out to be a type of bondage to the sexual self, along with all the baggage that goes with it. That's one of the reasons I feel we'll never be truly free until women are out of second class status, the world over.

I had a long discussion with a friend of mine, very alternative type. A male gay Wiccan, who with his friends tried to be open and honest with their sexuality. The problem as I saw it, is it took so much effort to obtain this freedom. A lot of consideration and planning went into it.

I always use the word "Libido" to mean life force, rather than sexual drive. My friend used a significant portion of his libido trying to be sexual open. And a lot of his time. Which is fine, but it seemed to get in the way of other goals he had in his life.

With women, who so often are seen as sex itself, and not as human, defining themselves by their sexuality is always problematic, to say the least. And at the root there almost always is some sort of damage. I think you're right, not being a victim by what ever means available may be what drives some of these women.