Need help. Need proof reading for paper going to Dean, and Reid..

I won a contest for a PAC, and part of the deal is I get to write a paper that will be sent by Gov. Vilsack to all Democratic Governors, gubernatorial candidates, and party leaders.. My English skills suck.. I have to have the letter turned in by 2:00.. Please read and give suggestions, and help me with my English issues.. I don't want to look like an idiot.. Please help.. The focus is supposed to be about my 10 words, and what they mean to me..

"The Democratic Party: People are our only 'Special Interest'."


I chose my 10 words because I think the biggest strength the Democratic Party has is that our party truly cares about the needs of the hardworking men and women of this country. Whereas the Republican Party only seems to care about the high dollar special interest groups and the corporate donors that fund them.. If you look back over the years, our party truly has put the people first. We are the party of Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Unemployment, Civil Rights, Workers Rights, Women's Rights, and Pell Grants. We have, as a party, come up with innovative solutions to the most serious issues we have faced as a nation. We have a record to stand on, we have a history to be proud of. We are the party of the people.
  
  The recent bills that have passed have shown clearly where the Republican interest really lies.. The Bankruptcy Bill, The Highway Bill, CAFTA, The Energy Bill, and Medicare Part D, have all been heavily laden with pork for the biggest contributors to the Republican Party, and the Bush Administration. None of these bills were passed with the interest of the American people in mind. The Bankruptcy Bill is nothing short of a payola to the credit card industry. The Energy Bill gives huge tax cuts and subsidies to the oil industry, who currently enjoy the largest corporate profits in recorded history. Medicare Part D is, in short, a disaster. Living here in Florida, you can't go to a pharmacy without seeing confused and angry seniors that still can't get the prescriptions they so desperately need. In the name of greed, the Republican party has sold out the single most important group in this nation, the American People.

    As a party, we need to remind the people of this nation that the Democratic Party has always stood beside them, and will continue to stand for them. We need to show the country in word and in deed, that we will represent their interest above all others. We need to make health care for all a reality. Our party needs to work to establish a living wage for all, and a tax code that is fair to everyone. We need to make education a priority, and work to become more competitive in math and science in the world community. We need to find common sense solutions to our security issues here a home, while keeping our interests safe abroad. Our party should come together to find short term and long term answers to our energy needs. We need to make job creation, and retention a first and foremost goal, and work to raise the standard of living in our nation.

I chose my ten words because they embody what our party is, was, and will be.. The party of the hard working men and women of this nation. We are the party of the people. We are the Democratic Party.

Great letter.

Just put "where as" together as one word: whereas.

And add something on Civil Rights.

Sue

- The biggest strength the democratic party HAS (first line)
- hardworking men and women of this country (.) Period (second line)

I would suggest making the last sentence, two sentences.

We are the Party of the People. We are the Democratic Party

Very nicely done. Good Luck to you.

:applause: :applause: :applause:


Your letter is FANTASTIC!!! I have made a few minor changes (below) as a suggestion. They mostly consist of paragraphing changes, just to set your many important points out separately, and thus give each one more impact.

Again, congratulations!!! I voted for you, and I just KNEW I was backing a winner! You managed to capture, in your ten words and your follow-up letter, the very essence of what our party stands for. This is just SO WELL DONE!

------------------

I chose my ten words because greatest strength of the Democratic Party is the fact that our party truly cares about the needs of the hardworking men and women of this country, whereas the Republican Party only seems to care about the special interest groups and the corporate donors that fund it.

If you look back over the years, our party has consistently put the people first. We are the party of Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Unemployment Insurance, Civil Rights, Workers Rights, Women's Rights, and Pell Grants. We have, as a party, come up with innovative solutions to the most serious issues we have faced as a nation. We have a record to stand on, and a history to be proud of. We are the party of the people.

The recent bills that have passed have shown clearly where the Republican interest really lies. The Bankruptcy Bill, The Highway Bill, CAFTA, The Energy Bill, and Medicare Part D, have all been heavily laden with pork for the biggest contributors to the Republican Party and the Bush Administration. None of these bills were passed with the interest of the American people in mind.

The Bankruptcy Bill is nothing short of a payoff to the credit card industry. The Energy Bill gives huge tax cuts and subsidies to the oil industry, which is currently enjoying the largest profits in recorded history. Medicare Part D is, in short, a disaster. Here in Florida, you can't go to a pharmacy without seeing confused and angry seniors that still can't get the prescriptions they so desperately need.

In the name of greed, the Republican party has sold out the single most important group in this nation: the American People.

We need to remind the people of this nation that the Democratic Party has always stood beside them, and will continue to stand for them. We need to show the country in word, and in deed, that we will represent their interests above all others.

We need to make health care for all a reality, as well as establishing a living wage and a tax code that is fair to everyone. We need to make education a priority, and to become more competitive in math and science in the world community. We need to find common sense solutions to our security issues here at home, while keeping our interests safe abroad.

We need to find short-term as well as long-term solutions to our energy needs. We need to make job creation and retention a first and foremost goal, and work to raise the standard of living for all Americans.

I chose my ten words because they embody what our party is, was, and always will be: the party of the hard working men and women of this nation.

We are the party of the people; we are the Democratic Party.

This is so intimidating.. I idolize Howard Dean, and the idea that I'm writing something that he'll actually read is scary.. Thank you again for your help!

In your nervousness, I don't think you have realized yet what a powerful piece you have here!

Your points were well thought out, and presented in a clear and concise manner. You have managed to hit on the major differences between the parties, as well as the most important challenges we face as a nation in today's world.

YOU HAVE DONE A FANSTASTIC JOB HERE, just FANTASTIC!!!!

So calm down and enjoy the kudos and the fame -- you've earned them!

The Democratic Party: People are our only "special interest."


I chose my 10 words because I think the biggest strength the Democratic Party has is that our party truly cares about the needs of the hard-working men and women of this country, whereas the Republican Party only seems to care about the big-dollar special interest groups and the corporate donors that fund them. If you look back over the years, our party truly has put the people first. We are the party of Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Unemployment Insurance, Civil Rights, Workers' Rights, Women's Rights, and Pell Grants. We have, as a party, come up with innovative solutions to the most serious issues we have faced as a nation. We have a record to stand on; we have a history to be proud of. We are the party of the people.

The recent bills that have passed have shown clearly where the Republican interest really lies. The bankruptcy bill, the highway bill, CAFTA, the energy bill, and Medicare Part D have all been heavily laden with pork for the biggest contributors to the Republican Party and the Bush Administration. None of these bills were passed with the interests of the American people in mind. The Bankruptcy bill is nothing short of a payoff to the credit card industry. The energy bill gives huge tax cuts and subsidies to the oil industry, which is currently enjoying the largest profits in recorded history. Medicare Part D is, in short, a disaster. Living here in Florida, you can't go to a pharmacy without seeing confused and angry seniors who still can't get the prescriptions they so desperately need. In the name of greed, the Republican party has sold out the single most important group in this nation, the American People.

As a party, we need to remind the people of this nation that the Democratic Party has always stood beside them, and will continue to stand for them. We need to show the country in word, and in deed, that we will represent their interests above all others. We need to make health care for all a reality. Our party needs to work to establish a living wage for all, and a tax code that is fair to everyone. We need to make education a priority, and work to become more competitive in math and science in the world community. We need to find common sense solutions to our security issues here at home while protecting our national interests abroad. Our party should come together to find short-term and long-term answers to our energy needs. We need to make job creation and retention a primary goal, and work to raise the standard of living in our nation.

I chose my ten words because they embody what our party is, was, and will be: the party of the working men and women of this nation. We are the party of the people. We are the Democratic Party.

1st sentence: "... the biggest strength OF the Democratic Party is that ... 2nd: "Whereas the Republican Party seems to care only ..."

sorry, got to this late and will post now