Purity Ball Entrance Fee: Intact Hymen (not a joke)

http://www.truthdig.com/eartotheground/item/20060503_purity_balls/

States like Colorado are holding dances in which fathers goad their daughters into pledging to remain virgins until marriage. (Never mind that abstinence pledges actually increase risky sexual activity.) You won’t believe the creepy anti-sex scripts the fathers read.

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Pandagon:

I feel icky just writing that post title, but there is no way in hell to compete with the ickiness that is the new, exciting way for wingnuts to hoodwink their daughters into swearing up and down they’ll protect their brideprice stay virgins until marriage. Apparently, it’s not enough anymore to bribe very young teenagers with silver rings and a quick church ceremony to convince people who probably should have had pets instead of children if they’re so worried about their young’uns growing up to fuck (since you can legally neuter your pets) that their precious daughters will never have a sexual urge in their lives.

And make no mistake, this is about daughters – there are father/daughter purity balls where the father, unable to lay claim to his actual flesh and blood through the way he laid claim to his other female property, his wife, instead has an elaborate ritual where he extracts a promise from her that her vagina is his until he sells it she marries someone he presumably approves of.
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there is a picture......


it's like we were transported back in time when women and girls were property, like slaves were property of the husband, father, brother, uncle, or any other male member of the family. (we won't talk about what happened if the girl didn't have male family....)

see how america's religiously insane live their lives.

nt

have a ceremony for them as well. Maybe they coat their penises with a special substance than turns red if exposed to "love juice". These kids are going to grow up to be some seriously fucked-up adults. :eyes: Of course the parents don't think about that because they're so fucked up themselves. And so it goes....generation after generation of sexually repressed people who take it out on the world in other ways.
Someone should do a study of these kids and see what their lives are like 5, 10, 20 years down the road. I imagine you'd find an elevated risk for all sorts of psychotic episodes for them.

They could call them "TaliBandaids".

unbelievable crap.

the virgins out before they are allowed to enter the ball?

trick at the door, huh?

:rofl:

Maybe they'll hire Rita Wilson to stand at the door and do the checking. This sort of thing seems right up her alley: Panty Check At School Dance Sparks Uproar.

If you listen to Stephanie Miller's show you know who I'm talking about!

who are seriously fucking up their daughters. :puke: I have a young daughter but I would NEVER presume to control her mind and body for my own creepy, selfish, psychologically fucked-up purposes. If you've taught your children well enough and led by example they're perfectly able to make their own decisions in life. What next, back to "ye olde chastity belts"? :eyes:

These fundies have gone wild since they've gotten a taste of power from the idiot in the White House. The Republi-cons have catered to these nut-jobs and now they feel free to carry their ridiculous, regressive, religious fantasies to a degree never even considered before. The Repiglickens are going to have to stay chained to these religious fanatics forever now, they have no escape. The religio-nazis think they control right-wing politics now, and to an extent, they do. They will never relinquish that power. Never. THIS will be the downfall of the Repukelican party!

People are waking up and seeing these theo-fascist for who they really are.
Immigrants came to this country to escape that kind of religious extremism. The writers of the Constitution took this into account.
Make the bush bots read the Constitution and Bill of Rights for themselves.

but it's the kids I'm worried about most. These adults have already made their insane choices but now they're transferring them to their children,

It's a lot of work deprogramming them later.

There's nothing wrong with teaching the children to be good adults. It's the branding into their brains that their way is the only way and anyone else is a heretic that is tragic.

"Is there any greater irony than the fact that the Christian Right actually got their precious little adolescent daughters to say to their freshly scrubbed boyfriends: "Please, I want to remain pure for my wedding night, so only in the ass. Then I'll blow you." Well, at least these kids are really thinking outside the box." (ouch)

It's linked at the article, and http://dir.salon.com/story/opinion/feature/2005/04/01/abstinence/index.html

Yeah, it's beyond sick, but it's also telling that the daughter they trotted out as their ideal is ELEVEN.

I was a late bloomer, but this garbage might have pushed my schedule ahead a few years just to distance myself from the creepily incestuous stuff.

statistics re: teen sexual activity vis-a-vis pregnancies!

:rofl:

:D

"Please, only in the ass..."

:rofl:

Law of unintended consquences at work.....

:rofl:

From Joe's Garage

I attended an all girls Catholic High School for a year, and we loved this song!

"Central scrutinizer:
This is the central scrutinizer...
Joe had a girl friend named mary.
She used to go the church club every week.
They’d meet each other there
Hold hands
And think pure thoughts
But one night at the social club meeting
Mary didn’t show up...
She was sucking cock backstage at the armory
In order to get a pass
To see some big rock group for free..."

One way back meaning of Virgin=belonging to no man, not father, not husband, belonging to self. Puts a new meaning to Virgin Mary, eh?

female circumcision to guarantee it.

I throughly taught my daughter how to protect herself. I told her my beliefs, based on my experiences in life (sexual activity not appropriate at a young age). I encourage her to talk to me if she was thinking about becoming active so I could make sure she had birth control measures. I helped her envision a life for herself by going to college and doing something that she loved.

Several months ago, my work bore fruit. She came to me saying that she wanted to start dating one guy in particular. As it turned out nothing came of it, but the fact that I didn't come unhinged did a lot to reassure my daughter that my love was unconditional, that I would respect her, and only give advice when she asked.

Kids are going to do what they are going to do. The best you can hope for is that they are responsible in making their decisions.

nt

who may have defiled a virgin. Submit daughter, maybe after every date, or each time she leaves the house, for examination by the sex police. Identify the culprit, and stone to death in the town square.

:shrug:

And if you coerce a promise out of prepubescent kids regarding their sexuality, you are setting them up to renege on their promise.

That is just bad parenting.

These kids cannot possibly know the power of sex at this age - so making the promise to remain a virgin is easy. Sex is still "gross" until the hormones start to surge.

And then all bets are off.

I want my kids to learn to honor their promises, I want to ensure they learn the power of a promise so I make sure they only make a promise they will be able to keep. I would never make them promise something that I am fairly certain they won't be able to honor.

We don't tell our kids how masturbation can be helpful. That is a problem. Girls can indulge in masturbation just as boys do. So hormones can be "headed off at the pass."

I think that girls are far more likely to be enticed into intercourse or non vaginal sex by boys and the attraction of being "wanted" and "desirable."

Girls and boys should be taught that masturbation is a great alternative for them. In fact, young women can learn what sexual techniques are satisfying so they can tell their future partners what they like, when they do have intercourse. As parents, we probably don't go into THAT area very much.

I bought a copy of "Our Bodies Ourselves" for my kids years ago and told them that many of their questions that may arise could be answered in that book. Boy, was that book dog eared after awhile! My kids are grown and are lovely, functioning adults and parents!

I've given Our Bodies Ourselves as gifts

Do these girls have to submit to vaginal exams every month or so?

Do these fathers not know that hymens break from normal, everyday activity. These girls will never get to ride a bike, run fast, participate in athletics. These are only a few of the ways hymens can tear. It's actually good to have a broken hymen. When hymens break, there is pain involved. If her hymen is already broken through normal activity, there will be no pain the first time.

What a horrible idea! Does this mean that the girls will be forbidden to be active? Does this mean that the girls can't have pelvic exams? (That's another way for a hymen to break)

And if a doctor breaks the hymen, does the doctor have blackmail capability?

What if these girls turn out not to bleed on the sheets on their wedding day? Will their fathers kill them as was done in ages past (and today in some parts of the world)

Just look at rape cases from ages ago. The fathers would either kill their daughters' attackers or have them arrested not to avenge their daughters' pain, but to save their own 'honour' (read egos). It's disgusting. Just another example of how some men are so threatened by women that they feel the need to silence and cripple them.

I'd be totally creeped out if my husband was focusing on my daughter's hymen to the extent of taking her to a ball where a public pledge is made.
But then, my father chose to teach my sister and I how to fish, change a tire, do algebra, and name the constellations.
The man, who taught public school for over forty years, clearly neglected his responsibilities.
I'm going to call him tonight and give him hell.

this topic came up. I thought the whole Father/Daughter date night pledging intact hymens was beyond icky. The idea that Dad is spending so much time and energy worrying about the membrane between his daughter's legs is skin-crawling repulsive. If only these date nights were about the daughter's intellectual development instead of the market value of her brideshead.
And yet. And yet...I received the most flaming I've ever had at DU over this. (and that's saying a lot.). Yes. There were DUers adamant that these are innocent and sweet rituals and what's so bad about abstinence, anyway?
Well, nothing. Abstinence should be a choice for the daughter.
But having Dad involved in the decision in such a controlling way -- the public pledge on what should be a very private issue -- is, to me, unfair and intrusive to the girls. I believe children are not property. Parents have responsibilities, of course, and should have authority and enact discipline.
But that does not include fathers getting intimately involved in their daughter's sexual organs.
OK. Flame away. I got plenty of this last time so I'm ready.)

It did get ugly. I hope this one doesn't go south like that one.

:scared:

I never saw that thread. Dear god, what a horror.

It is hard for me to believe that on DU we would have such a display. Where in the world did this come from?

I am shaking my head in disbelief, but I believe you. Ugh.

No, I think instead, we should choose to raise our daughters to love and respect themselves ... and never doubt "their place" in this world is destine to be equal to that of the men. This whole scenario reeks of patriarchy. My most magnanimous response would be, Ewe! :puke:

And, if I was one of the mothers, I would honestly be REALLY worried about things. I know my Mom definitely wouldn't have allowed it.

Pull that ball gown up grilie and.."scoot down a bit ".:puke:

#1 to hand the girl after the exam
#2 to hand to the father when he finds "his" hymen is not intact.

This is totally repulsive.

I'll be doing the "carding"

:evilgrin:

is for the fundies to have another way of absolving themselves of responsibility. "Just Say 'Don't'" gets them out of explaining uteri and ova and sperm and condoms and other sexual things. Then, when the kid turns up pregnant, they can say, "Well, it isn't my fault! I did everything I could!"

Denial — it's what's for Sunday dinner. :eyes:

Hell, they made it that far, and that was the goal. What daddy doesn't know won't hurt anyone, right? What's the incentive after the Purity Ball to not have sex?

Oh, and btw, what about the MALE half of this? How does one "prove" his purity?

Ah, no. They have their, ahem, "needs."

HYPOCRITES. DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!!!

told him that Gentile girls were for practice and Jewish girls were for marriage. He, like I did when he told me this, found this attitude to be repellant.

Boys are held to a different standard. If they have several sexual partners in high school and college they are said to be sowing their wild oats. If a female has several sexual partners during the same period she is a slut.

What Americans need to do is raise both genders to respect that NO means NO and give them real information about STDs and AIDS.

standard.

boys are trained to enter the world of men who are in charge of everything on earth.

girls have standards

has a quote by Anais Nin. http://generationsoflight.myicontrol.com/generationsoflight/resultsfastFacts.cfm?table=fastFacts&ffid=21&letter=T&title=What%20Matters?

I think I've seen it all now.

Obviously, someone just selected a quote they liked without ever having read the author's works.

nt

More apt than they know:

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” --Anais Nin

Quite an appropriate quotation for the faith-based delusional crowd.

When I hear about grown men who are this obsessed with the state of their pre-pubescent daughters' vaginas, who are couching the process of sexual maturation in terms of giving a "gift" to the new husband (implying that the daughter's sexuality is "owned" by daddy and transferred to hubby) I hear incest warnings buzzing through the whole scene.

Daddy is, at very least, fantasizing a bit too much about that pretty little girl of his.

Lots of fathers can love their daughters beyond all measure without wondering about the state of their vaginas. These dads teach their daughters how to play softball, hug them when they're sad, listen to them when they have some exciting news, etc. etc. They DON'T sit around and think of ways to fetishize their daughter's sexual organs.

So, icky icky indeed.