Text of Bush's Commencement Address at Oklahoma State...

President Bush Delivers Commencement Address at Oklahoma State University
Oklahoma State University
Stillwater, Oklahoma

10:10 A.M. CDT



THE PRESIDENT: Good afternoon, ladies and germs. Heheheheh…Steve Bridges wrote that joke for me. You know, the guy who impersonatored me at the White House Correspondence Dinner. Steve Bridges, or, as I call him, Stevie Bushbridge, went to college, so he’s smart enough to know the Hindenburg probably didn’t even have deck chairs. Unlike a certain other guy who thinks he’s smart but isn’t. Anyway, they say to always open these kinds of speeches with a joke, so that was your joke: Good afternoon, ladies and germs. Get it? You’re welcome.

(Applause)

Thank you all very much. President Schmidly, thank you. Schmidly, what a name! Heheheheh…just kidding. Maybe that should’ve been my opening joke! Members of the Oklahoma State faculty and administration; Governor; people in the Statehouse; members of the United States Congress; distinguished guests; parents, friends, family, and most important, the Class of 2006 -- (applause) -- thanks for the warm welcome to this great state, and to this here fine campus. It’s a real honor to have me.

(Applause.)

How the diddly-do are ya? Laura sends her greetings, and she's disappointed that she couldn't be here with me. (Applause.) She was even more disappointed when she found out I had planned a romantic dinner for two—at Eskimo Joe's. (Applause.) Just fooling. Actually, I hear there’s not much for women to do at Eskimo Joe’s if ya know what I mean, and besides, she was dead to the world this morning. Hell, you would be too if you were on some of the medicine she’s on. (Applause.) Don’t tell her I said that, though—hearing that might make her so angry she’ll get behind the wheel and start doing her own driving again! (Applause.) WHAT STOP SIGN???!!! (Laughter.) If you read the papers, you know that when some want to criticize me, they call me a cowboy. (Applause.) This cowboy is proud to standing here in the midst of a lot of other cowboys. (Applause.) Maybe after this is all over with, some of us can dress up in our cowboy outfits and head over to Eskimo Joe’s for a little rump wrangling—did I just say that?

(Applause.)

I want to thank the moms and dads here for the sacrifice of your children. Better them than mine. (Applause.) I want to thank the faculty for your hard work and dedication, even though they’re probably a pack of fancy-fangled, overeducated liberal pansies. (Applause.) I congratulate the Class of 2006. (Applause.) Some of you are graduating with honors that involved much sacrifice and achievement. Others perhaps spent a little less time in the library. Take hope in the fact that life is the great equalizer. No insurgent is gonna care much about whether or not you knew that Juliet let down her hair so Romeo could climb up her balcony, for example.

(Applause.)

The last few months before graduation are busy ones. Amid all the excitement, there's one thing that probably eluded a few of you: You haven't had time to find a job. I remember back when I was about to graduate, I wasn’t looking for a job, either. In fact, it was the furthest thing from my mind. Still, I speak for your parents when I say: Now is the time to start looking.

(Applause.)

Some good news for you: The military job market for college graduates is the best it's been in years. (Applause.) They’ll take anybody. And, with a college degree, even one from Oklahoma State University—this is Oklahoma State, right?—the opportunities are only limited by the size of your dreams and the scarcity of our body armor.

(Applause.)

So, um, college types…I’ll end with a bit of intellectuality, since this is a college-like environment, and I’m wearing one o’ these professor dresses. I believe it was the great inventor Consolidated Edison who once said, “Genius is 1% perspiration and 99% respiration.” I hope each and every one of you perspires and respirates as much as possible in the years ahead.
(Applause.)

END 10:20 A.M. CDT

:dunce:

born with a silver foot in our mouth, to borrow from Ann Richards about George Sr.


>>>"I remember back when I was about to graduate, I wasn’t looking for a job, either. In fact, it was the furthest thing from my mind.">>>

THIS is a real keeper!

20,000 people attended.