Imagine This: You are GWB's Speechwriter

Here's a hypothetical situation for you. Through some incredible stroke of luck, you have landed a job as one of Bush's speechwriters. You will be solely responsible for writing or editing one of his major addresses, which will be broadcast coast to coast and covered by the national news media. Maybe the State of the Union itself.

Or maybe you've hacked into his speechwriter's computer and you have access to the text of the speech. Or maybe you're running the teleprompter he will read from. Whatever the means, you are capable of making Bush say whatever you want him to. You know he'll recite whatever is shown to him like the trained monkey he is, and now's the time to take advantage of it.

So the question is, can you come up with a few short sentences that will destroy a presidency?

I was thinking the best thing to do might be making him announce that the US will invade China. It would be incredibly damaging but it could also start a nuclear exchange before the White House has time to deny the statement, so it would probably be too risky. If he were to announce the dissolution of the US military and CIA and the transfer of all their equipment and duties to private contractors, it would completely wreck his federal power base but it might not turn his loyal voters against him. Suspension of the constitution and declaration of martial law are always fun options.

In any case, Dubya will probably only be able to rattle off a few dozen syllables of self-destruction before he's pulled away from the mike by his panicking handlers. If you have him start off subtle and build up to something shocking, he might have a little more time. What words would you put in his mouth to ruin him utterly?

I resign.

I would love putting those words in his mouth.

Mz Pip
:dem:

...it's a ratings grabber. :shrug:

Only Gee Dubya's speech writer? Whew! While I'd likely have legal troubles after Gee Dubya leaves office in 2009, it's not like I'm one of the bigger fish who'd probably do well to start shifting their assets to offshore bank accounts and buy residences in Paraguay.

effective noon tomorrow I hereby resign as POTUS. The VP will then be sworn in and will act until a replacement is named. His health is too fragile for him to continue, along with pending indictments. Thank you and goodbye.