Warnings about what to do if attacked by a terrorist.

Picture of Mohammed al Moose-Hiam the #3 moose in al Qaeda.

If you are attacked you should do the following:

Many moose charges are bluffs or warnings, but you need to take them all seriously. Even a calf, which weighs 300 to 400 pounds by its first winter, can injure you.

A moose that sees you and walks slowly towards you is not trying to be your friend. It is probably warning you to keep away (or looking for a handout if it's been fed). It may signal an attack by laying its ears back, raising the long hairs on its shoulder hump, stomping the ground, or swinging its head in your direction. If you see it licking its lips you are far too close!

Back off. Look for the nearest tree, fence, building or other obstruction to hide behind. Unlike with cougars, bears or even dogs, it's usually a good idea to run from a moose because usually it won't chase you very far. You can run around a tree or other obstacle faster than a moose can.

If a moose knocks you down, it may continue running, or start stomping and kicking. Curl up in a ball, protect your head with your arms and hands, and hold still. Don't move or try to get up until the moose moves a safe distance away, or it may renew its attack.


Hey, if ATT can send my phone records to the NSA to stop al Qaeda .... I think stopping moose attacks just
as important in our global war on terror.

But what do I do with the duct tape?

behind closed doors is their business. Duct tape would fall in that category I think. :rofl:

That is why we are fighting the moose over there so we don't have to fight them over here.

And that IS his name!

:rofl:

Do moose like tuna?

and cabbages out of the garden.

Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.


If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit.


If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder

More:
http://www.houstonjusticenotwar.org/humour/terrorist_attack/index.asp'

One of the best laughs I had all year.

Maybe you should send this to Colbert -- he can add it to his Threatdown

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Bullwinkle is attacking? What's next?

Paul Simon stopped performing together.

So that's the connection.

Weapons of Moose Destruction

the Visqueen fit in?

every night and you're majestic like a Moose! Being majestic is hard to do but I was able to do it for a long time. Being majestic like the noble moose, is damned hard to pull off, when you drink free draft beer all evening long on Sundays, but it can be done.

There seems to be one hiding behind every tree, and RIGHT HERE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD. :scared:

Maybe just some for the tourists but you don't have wild moose just walking around
do you?

:rofl:

In Northwestern Ontario I once walked up on a cow & calf in camp .... she gave
me a look square in the eye .... stomped her foot ... I figured that where ever the old
girl wanted to go was fine with me .... Damn they are big! I had watched them in the
water ..... but on land they are huge. BTW that is one big ass bull too.

This one happened to be in my next-door neighbor's front yard a few months ago. I got within about 15 feet of him, but didn't want to push my luck. Thank God for long lenses.

I have always dreamed of hitting it big and getting a little cabin on Island
down towards Sitka ..... Just Wolves, Whales, Wolverine, Salmon, Trout, Crab,
and Halibut ....... I would Kayak, hike, ski, and read .... all I need is 2.5 million :rofl:

I have been north in B.C. but never to Alaska.

thank you for the picture. Is that big for a bull moose in AK?

...a regular city (except for the wildlife) of about 260,000. These moose roam around all over town like they own the place. We live only about five minutes from downtown, but not too many weeks go by that we don't have a moose or two out in the driveway or something. This one was pretty good sized, but you're right, they are all HUGE. We also have grizzlies and black bears in certain parts of town. I just read something in the paper the other day about how some British film-making company is coming here to make a documentary about Anchorage and its urban wildlife because it's so unique.

You really should make your way up here one of these years. Southeast, where Sitka is, is very beautiful - although wet -- but every part of the state has its own charm. If you ever came here, you probably wouldn't want to leave.

(The Alaska Tourist Bureau should put me on their payroll. LOL)

Good job Buddy! :thumbsup: