Cheney Hospital Visit Surprisingly Heart Related

http://purgatopia.blogs.com/purgatopia/2006/01/cheney_hospital.html

Cheney Hospital Visit Surprisingly Heart Related

Two days after Vice President Dick Cheney went to a hospital complaining of shortness of breath, his doctors released the results of their diagnosis after examination. In handwritten notes, Dr. Tim Halloway explains that "the symptoms which Mr. Cheney was experiencing, the shortness of breath and the mild chest pains were triggered when his heart started beating in the early hours on Monday morning."

According to the doctors report, initial examinations showed no evidence of a heart even being present, but a CAT scan revealed a small, walnut sized muscle in Mr. Cheney’s chest cavity. "It seems clear," Halloway continues, "that this patient’s heart has not been active since possibly early childhood, explaining the shock to his system when it started beating unprompted on January 9. The blood had long ago cooled and congealed in Mr. Cheney’s veins, resembling a crude, oil-like substance. Invasive procedure a success. Recommend increased dosage of sedatives and rhetoric."

Pat Robertson, close friend and financial supporter of the Bush administration, flew into Washington D.C. to visit Vice President Cheney during his recovery. Mr. Robertson recently provoked a heated public response by suggesting that the hospitalization of Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon was an act of God’s judgement. When asked, Robertson said that the Vice President’s trip to the hospital was "merely an oversight on God’s part."