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Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (01/01/06 through 01/22/2007) Donate to DU
 
Richard D Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-26-06 05:03 PM
Original message
Coffee and tea alert
Edited on Fri May-26-06 05:12 PM by Richard D
Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters who are prostitutes in Jersey City. I have two brothers.
One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of neglecting his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and, indeed, is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel. Her time there is limited, however, as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would get them off the street, and, hopefully, the heroin.

My problem is this: I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family, and of course, I want to be totally honest with her.

So here's where I need your advice. Should I tell her about my cousin who voted for Bush?

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation



* * * * *
(edited for spelling)
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Minnesota Libra Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-26-06 05:08 PM
Response to Original message
1. LOL, OK, you really got me on that one.........
Edited on Fri May-26-06 05:09 PM by Minnesota Libra
...:rofl: :applause: :rofl: :applause: :rofl: :applause: :rofl:
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Richard D Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-26-06 05:13 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. (hense the coffee and tea alert)
No one warned me and I'm still getting the coffee off my screen.
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Buck Laser Donating Member (566 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-26-06 06:03 PM
Response to Original message
3. Better dump her while you can!!
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kpete Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-26-06 06:04 PM
Response to Original message
4. is it a first cousin or a second cousin?
well done!
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elehhhhna Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-26-06 06:06 PM
Response to Original message
5. Are y'all "the Aristocrats"?
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Mr_Spock Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-26-06 06:43 PM
Response to Original message
6. I'm thinking "oh, another study about coffee and tea consumption
:rofl:
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progressoid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-27-06 01:03 AM
Response to Original message
7. Outstanding
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AuntPatsy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-27-06 01:06 AM
Response to Original message
8. lol
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durrrty libby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-27-06 08:50 AM
Response to Original message
9. OMG I can’t stop laughing
Edited on Sat May-27-06 08:53 AM by durrrty libby
Oh man…I got tears

I’m usually good at figuring out where something is going, but you got me good
on that one


:rofl:


Edited to ad Now the ads on top all have "hooker" in the title.:rofl:
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Spazito Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-27-06 09:55 AM
Response to Original message
10. ROFL!
Thanks for the laugh, the smile on my face will remain for quite a while!
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