Pat Robertson leg-presses 2000 lbs.! Wow! Must be God's influence

I mean, a preacher wouldn't lie about a thing like that, right?

Is Pat Robertson almighty?
May 27, 2006

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. -- Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson says he has leg-pressed 2,000 pounds, but some say he'd be in a pretty tough spot if he tried.

The "700 Club" host's feat of strength is recounted on the Web site of his Christian Broadcasting Network. According to the site, Robertson worked his way up to lifting a ton.

Clay Travis of CBS SportsLine.com called the assertion impossible, writing that the leg-press record for football players at Florida State University is 665 pounds less.

Doubters!! Sinners!! Chicken-legged liberal heathens!! Don't you dare mock the man to whom God has delegated the awesome power of wiping out sinners with hurricanes!

of 100 lbs............why would you ever doubt what ol' Pat has to say? Has the man EVER said anything that might give one the impression that he is perhaps not the sanest critter on the planet?

Pat wants to sell ya a health drink!
:rofl:

http://www.cbn.com/communitypublic/shake.asp

"Where does Pat find the time and energy to host a daily, national TV show, head a world-wide ministry, develop visionary scholars, while traveling the globe as a statesman?

One of Pat's secrets to keeping his energy high and his vitality soaring is his age-defying protein shake. Pat developed a delicious, refreshing shake, filled with energy-producing nutrients."

"One of Pat's secrets to keeping his energy high and his vitality soaring is his age-defying protein shake. Pat developed a delicious, refreshing shake, filled with energy-producing nutrients."

Bet you a fat man to a skinny mule ole 76-year old, flabby muscle, girly-man will be flaking his bullshit shake to his lamb chop flock as he continue to soak their meager earnings. These people disgust me and most of them have an addictive personality to boot.

adds 1000 pounds to the routine.... simple enough mistake.

Those are Air Apostles, specially designed to provide the type of support needed for a day of power proselytizing. Available in Robertson Red, Godly Green, Prayerful Pink, Left-behind Lime, and Forgiven Fuscia!

...poseurs. Wannabes with no value whatsoever. Hey, Pat, prove it. Let's make it an even 1500 lbs and if you can do that we'll believe you, you fucking tard.

I'd love to see you snap into two if you try.

the Constitution.

TC

I'm not a gym rat, but didn't the article say this is an incline press? Does that mean he's pushing 2000# up a roller ramp? That is not quite the same thing as lifting 2000#

The ones where a beefy guy in a fake leopard-skin Tarzan suit came out and lifted barbells with these GINORMOUS weights on them that had these really impressive numbers? Like 500, or 1000 lbs? And he's struggling, and sweating, but he finally gets it over his head, and the crowd goes wow, ooooh, yay! and claps like mad...
But if you stick around and watch when you're supposed to be gone, this skinny litte kid comes out later to collect the props and picks up these "500 lb barbells", one in each hand, and totes them off for the next 'feat of strength.'
:popcorn:

Porky that was his assistant. While Alfalfa was taking his bows to the cheering crowd, in the background is Porky carrying away the barbells. Needless to say, the cheers turned to jeers.

First, the FSU leg press record is likely a vertical leg press which is much more difficult than a press done on an incline machine.

Secondly, the range of motion is a big deal too. If you go down all the way until until your thighs are nearly touching your chest it's much more difficult than if you move just a few inches. I don't think Pat Roberston's ever gone down.

Thirdly, the angle of incline also impacts the difficulty of the exercise. The greater the incline, the more difficult the press. If you're at 90 degrees it's more difficult than if you're nearly flat on your back.

So essentially what Pat's likely done is hitch up 2000 lbs on a nearly flat incline and then move it an inch. From that, he's made it appear he turns green when he steps in the gym and starts throwing around 2000 lbs. while ripping phone books in half with his bare hands. It's sort of the Weapons of Mass Destruction approach to weightlifting claims.

Pat Robertson is a son of a bitch!"
"Pat Robertson is the father of every kid in this town!"
"Pat Robertson once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw!"
"One time I was with Robertson in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Robertson goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Pat Robertson! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'Pat Robertson' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!'"
Pat Robertson is the godfather of my son. Well, anyway.. he shows up at the church in his golf pants, caked in mud. Well, ol' Pat pushes the priest aside and says, "I'll baptize that piece of calamari!" Then he pours Scotch all over my baby son and says, "There! You're baptized!"
"He'd eat a homeless person if you dared him!"
"His poop is used as currency in Argentina."
"He sweats Gatorade"
"He once breast-fed a flamingo back to health."
"He hated Mexicans! And he was half Mexican! .......And he hated irony!"
"I once saw him scissor kick Angela Landsbury."
"He sheds his skin once a year."
"He makes brooms somewhere in Georgia."
"He did 3 tours in 'Nam...... I was in Corpus Christi on business a month ago. I had this eight foot tall Asian waiter, which made me curious. I asked him his name. Sure enough it's Ho Tran Robertson!"
"I once saw him eat a whole live chicken."
"Pat Robertson is a two ton man-mountain who could palm a medicine ball!"
"Did I ever tell you about the time Robertson took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Robertson takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Robertson yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'"
"Pat Robertson had a four day heart attack...a day for each chamber. At the autopsy, they said his heart looked like a basketball filled with riccotta cheese."
"He once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road."
"He taught me how to make love to a woman, and how to scold a child."
"They found $60 in change in his stomach."
"He did all the makeup on the 'Planet of the Apes' movie."
"He grew a 3rd arm and kept it in a vault."
"Robertson drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for 8 months straight. When he woke he rubbed his eyes and said, 'All in all, I prefer gin.'"
"They say Gene Roddenbery got the idea for Star Trek from listening to Robertson talk in his sleep."
"He date raped David Bowie."
"He once inhaled a seagull."
"The Pope told him it was ok to have a mistress."
"It was the sight of Robertson's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane."
"He once had sex with a cigarette machine."
"He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident."
"He uses the Shroud of Turin as a golf towel."
"He once ate the Bible while water skiing."
"He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls."
"He sired a baseball team.. an orchestra if you count the bastards!"
"You know, he would shoot whiskey into his neck with a syringe!"
"He has dandruff the size of mice!"
"He jogged with a fridge on his back!"
"He's a ten foot tall beastman who showers in vodka and feeds his baby shrimp scampi."
"He orchestrated the merger between Unicef and Smith & Wessen."
"He went public with his own buttocks and made $7 million."
"Did I ever tell you about the time Robertson went hunting? Robertson decides he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machette. They all begged for their lives...except Fleagle."
"We once had a bachelor party for Robertson. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it."
"Robertson once hosted the Grammys and gave every award to Corey Hart."
"He has a toenail on the end of his penis."
"Robertson once got his wife pregnant and gave birth to a delicious 16 ounce steak. The after birth was sauteed mushrooms."
"Robertson's family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Neil Armstrong."
"Robertson ranked 18th in the AP College Football Pool."
"Did I ever tell you about the time Robertson was in a production of, 'The King & I?' On opening night, Robertson chloroforms the entire cast and slowly eats them in front of the audience for two hours. The production got pretty good reviews."
"He breastfeeds John Madden."
"Robertson named the group Sha-Na-Na. They did NOT want to be called that."
"If you drop a phonograph needle on Robertson's nipple, it plays the Beach Boys' 'Pet Sounds.'"
"They use Robertson's foreskin as a tarp when it rains at Yankee stadium."
"Robertson directed that commercial where the women play basketball in high heels."
"All the 'Yes' album covers are Robertson family photos."
"He wears a live rattlesnake as a condom."
"Did I ever tell you about the time he taught his son how to drive? He did it by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. Robertson said it would've happened sometime."
"Robertson's semen can form into a liquid human - like the guy from 'Terminator 2'"
"Robertson still believes in Santa Claus, and he wants to put him in porno films."
"He thinks then iron man is gay."
"He framed Roger Rabbit."
"The character of Johnny Appleseed was based on Robertson - except for the apple tree planting and not raping men."

....Chuck Norris.

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

* When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

* Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

* Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

* There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

* When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

* Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

* A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

* When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

* Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

* Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

* When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

* How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

* Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

* In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.

* Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

* If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

* Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

* The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

* A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.

* Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

* Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.

* When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

* While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

* Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.

* When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

* When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

* Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

* Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

* Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

* For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

* Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

* When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

* Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

* When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

* Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

* On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

* Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

* In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

* Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

* Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

* Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

* Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

* Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

* If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

* Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.

* Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

* Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

* The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

* It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

* You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.

* Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

* The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

* Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

* When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.

* Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

* James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

* Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

* Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

* Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

* It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

...but if I admit that I expect to answer my door two minutes later and be roundhouse kicked by Mr. Norris into the next century.

Is he the guy who did that...er...song, I guess you'd call it...Pencil-neck Geek?

Pencil-neck geek, grit-eatin' freak,
Scum-suckin' pinhead with a lousy physique!
He's a one-man, no-gut losing streak;
Nuthin' but a pencil-neck geek!

:rofl:

... is a conman? Who could have seen that one coming?

This is ridiculous...

it can't be that a man of God would LIE!