Did you folks know I was perfect? Well, I am!

I am a programmer, and therefore, you can *ALWAYS* trust me.

I am not subject to bribes. I do not make mistakes. If my employer orders me to do "something wrong" I won't decide that I like having a job and then do it -- NO! I will make sure that "America's Votes Are Counted Correctly" because when I say something, you can be sure it is indeed true.

You see, I develop databases using the same program (Microsoft Access) that is used to help count votes all over America -- and since everyone can trust computers and the people who program them to be Perfect, you can totally Trust Me, Too.

And, hey! Microsoft! No bugs, there, either! And just because the vote counting software doesn't use any of the basic security features Microsoft provides is NO REASON to be concerned. All of their programmers are perfect, too!

And you should totally ignore this website http://www.chuckherrin.com/hackthevotedemo.htm that shows you how to hack the vote, because even though it is easy to do, it would never happen. (Yes, there are pictures and everything, but honestly, who ever reads directions?) And don't look here, either -- http://whitey.gnn.tv/blogs/1123/How_to_Hack_the_Vote -- just because someone gets trained how to hack an election on national television is NO REASON to be worried!

I am, after all, PERFECT, because I program computers, and you can therefore *ALWAYS* trust that what I tell the computers to say is The Real Truth.

All Hail My Perfection! Worship at My Shrine! I AM A PROGRAMMER AND I AM PERFECT!!!

:evilgrin:

I'm sure all programmers are perfect. It's essential to be able to put blind trust in people! :thumbsup:

I'm sure. And now I must leave this thread for a while as I go to work on an "enhancement" that wasn't *really* a mistake by some other programmer. Its "enhancements" like these that are my bread and butter! :)

Say, can you make a chad hang with that software? Is voter intent discernable? }(

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

And therefore, the folks who are paying the bill get to determine voter intent. OBVIOUSLY no one would really waste their time on "democrats" so you had situations in the 2004 election where "straight party democratic votes" were counted as Libertarian in one state, and not counted at all in New York! And my personal favorite is the situation in one of the Southern states where there was no presidential ticket on the ballot at all -- voters were instructed to "just write down who you want on this piece of paper."

Surprisingly, the precinct went *REALLY* red. :eyes:

And ON EDIT: Welcome to DU! :)

In the 2004 election "straight party democratic votes" were counted as Libertarian in one state. Which state?

In the 2004 election "straight party democratic votes" were not counted at all in New York. Throughout the state?

In one of the Southern states where there was no presidential ticket on the ballot at all -- voters were instructed to "just write down who you want on this piece of paper?

:puke:

:cry:

:grr:

You can find more at one of my favorite websites: VerifiedVoting.Org by using their search engine: http://www.verifiedvoting.org/search.php -- just type in "glitches" and then try not to have a heart attack. Or you can visit their "Election Incident Reporting System" to learn about the 42,000 (4,812 Machine Related) that were reported during Election 2004.... Here are a couple of the Georgia one's: (DeKalb County) Machine not working - pushed button for one candidate, and other candidate's name appeared in ballot/screen. (Cobb County) At 9:00/9:30 a.m. this morning (not 2nd) - Voting by electronic machine. Every time she pushed candidate she wanted, it highlighted the other candidate. Called over election supervisor - explained the problem - could be confusing. Kept pressing the person she wanted - so after the third time it gave the candidate she wanted. Over the first page - president and other races were on the first page. Election worker said it could fingernails (sic). (Douglas County) Every time hit "John Kerry" name "x" would jump to "George Bush" happened two times. (Cobb County Again): VOTER'S MACHINE DEFAULTED TO REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE EACH TIME SHE VOTED FOR A DEMOCRAT. SHE TOLD THE PRECINCT SUPERVISOR ABOUT THE PROBLEM. IT CONTINUED TO HAPPEN (7 TIMES).

As for the "no presidential ticket" story, I used to have that link, but I can't seem to find it anywhere now....?

Anyway, here are some of the old links....

(IN): Voting machine glitch changes election Old Link: http://www.7onyourside.com/Global/story.asp?S=2558518&nav=7CPDT4VX

A recently found computer glitch in the voting machines in Franklin County, Indiana has given a democrat enough votes to bump a republican from victory in a County Commissioner's race.

The glitch in the machines recorded straight Democratic Party votes for Libertarians.

The votes were re-counted last night, by hand.

The company who made the voting machine is also checking into programming of it's equipment in nine other Indiana counties. (end)

(NY): As Voting Machines Are Checked, Spano's Lead Shrinks Old Link: http://www.wnbc.com/politics/3902820/detail.html

WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. -- After the first hours of a two-week vote recount, Democrats claimed Monday that their candidate for the state Senate from Yonkers had wiped out almost all of her unofficial deficit and moved within 288 votes of the powerful Republican incumbent, Nicholas Spano.

The GOP's election lawyer, John Ciampoli, acknowledged some gains for Democrat Andrea Stewart-Cousins but said, "None of this means anything until all the recanvass of the machines is done, over and finished."

The count was partial, with just 15 percent of the machine vote checked by late afternoon. But the quick recovery buoyed the forces of Stewart-Cousins, a Westchester County legislator who took on the Senate's assistant majority leader and a nine-term veteran.

"If this trend holds, we are confident that Andrea Stewart-Cousins will be the next state senator from the 35th Senate District," said the Democrats' election lawyer, Henry Berger, who was at the recount in a machine storage warehouse in Yonkers.

A Spano defeat would mean a third seat whittled from the 38-24 majority Senate Republicans had earlier this year.

<more at link>

Here's another one: (FL): Group Sues Fla. County Over Ballot Glitch Old Link: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20041116/ap_on_el_pr/florida_slot_machines

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. - Opponents of a measure to add slot machines at south Florida race tracks are demanding a recount in Broward County, insisting there is something strange about a batch of 78,000 absentee votes that helped tip the scales for the proposal.

Gambling opponents said 94 percent of the 78,000 ballots, which were not correctly counted on Election Day, were in favor of the constitutional amendment. That exceeds Broward's countywide approval margin of 70 percent.

"It's a million to one that this could happen somehow by itself," state Rep. Randy Johnson said Monday. "It's bizarre."

<more at link>

Ooh! A Utah One: (UT): 33,000 ballots lost in shuffle Old Link: http://www.sltrib.com/ci_2453243

Voters in Utah County had more than a one in five chance that their ballots did not get counted in the initial, unofficial tally from Election Day.

A programming glitch in the punch-card counter dropped 33,000 ballots from the totals - all of them straight-party ballots. That was more than 22 percent of the 145,769 ballots cast in the Republican stronghold.

"The card readers were fine; it was just the way it was programmed initially," Utah County elections coordinator Kristen Swensen said Friday. "It was just off by one letter."

<more at link>

And in North Carolina: (NC): Latest Gaston flub: 1 precinct omitted Old Link: http://www.charlotte.com/mld/observer/news/local/10171085.htm?1c

GASTONIA - Gaston County Elections Director Sandra Page, already struggling to explain why most early votes were omitted from the county's unofficial election results, said Friday that her office had also omitted an entire Dallas precinct.

Responding to a question from the Observer, Page said Gaston's unofficial results excluded 1,209 votes cast at the Dallas Civic Center. She said she learned of the problem one or two days after the election, but did not correct the unofficial results until Monday.

"I guess people are angry with us about this, but it was not done on purpose," she said. "It's astounding, but we just missed it.“

<more at link>

OT, I know, but I was sitting here wondering. LOL.

which inspired the song "For the Benefit of Mr. Kite."

but I see you have been here longer than I have! :hi:

Or say, for instance, I have to write a program to count votes but nobody seems to know what the ballot's going to look like. No problem! Because I'm perfect, I don't even NEED to know. You can trust my program to give you the right count, every time!

:evilgrin:

take over the world, but computer programmers on the other hand...

dripping from my computer screen and into the information-hungry belly of my wee brain.

Maybe we should just skip the voting all together, and let the most skillful, well-financed, hacker decide the winner?

:shrug:

It will save the poor and elderly $15.00 to get a birth certificate in Missouri for voter registration ID cards.

You now have to actually show a photo ID to vote! ... :mad:

WHATS NEXT?

And the policies from one fiefdom to another differ. In the fiefdom in which I live, your photo ID and voter registration do not have to match exactly. "Ronald Alexander" on the voter reg and "Ron E. Alexander" on the photo ID will still work - if you are indeed the guy in the photo. In other fiefdoms? In the fiefdom in which I live the photo IDs can be had for free at the DMV if you tell them you are getting an ID so you can vote - if you don't know to tell them that, then the IDs cost $$$.

What's next? :eyes:

But frankly, isn't that what is happening already?

skip the bejillion dollars they're gonna spend on election commercials and signs and internet sites.

Stage a reality show: Hack the Vote.

Teams from all the parties can compete to see who can hack a state's vote the quickest, then the top two can compete against the clock to hack all the remaining states.

What the hell? At least it would be entertaining.

Can't do that. The Republicans would cheat.

We put our blind trust in you so I hope you remain at your job for a long long time. May you never get outsourced and may you never have to deal with anyone hacking your precious database and making ALL the votes just *POOF* disappear. Just think of the controversy that would create oh great programmer! Just think of the media frenzy and the Congressional hearings that would cause. To have an election rely on the districts that can't afford your fancy machines? Horrible! No one would ever have faith in what you do ever again. The public might actually demand paper ballots. *shudder*

is a country known for its "clean" elections, right? (Snicker)

As a network geek, I bow to thee and all the QA people who so diligently work to make sure there are never any backdoors into any programs via networks!

Yea, I say unto thee, all this talk of accessing databases via modem dialup is nothing but heretical mudslinging!! Yea, until the ends of time will I follow you through the Valley of Packet Sniffers and Remote Access Hacks... I fear no phreaking, for you art by my side, with your Security Patches and CERT warnings...

Thy Programming Be Compiled... It Is Finished!

in my temple! :)

I shall prepare the harem of male UNIX to do the Dance Of 1001 Ribbon Cables for you immediately... :evilgrin:

and I've never used Bittorrent or Azureus or any other program for 'unethical' purposes.

Now if you could give me those addresses one more time, I can assure you that no elections will be affected or that any outcome will be different than was *actually* voted...

Trust me...

So when I send you my address, should I also give you my SSN number and my mother's maiden name just in case?

:rofl:

incredibly helpful ...

:sarcasm:

(well that was meant for the original post... but you get it...)

You can trust that I will only use it for educational purposes. ;)

This one is from that fabulous site VotersUnite.org!

http://www.votersunite.org/info/mapVoteSwitch.pdf

:7 I'm a programmer-type, too, and this is my personal motto:

Give software half a chance, and it will screw you every time. Give it no chance at all, and it will screw you anyway.

And that's when there isn't a driving force behind the software trying to screw you.

Hackers are only looking for valuable information that they can use to make money. They would not rig an election (even though it would be VERY easy to do so).

http://www.chuckherrin.com/hackthevotedemo.htm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhMUtzOxjJY

I had trouble with the GNN .wmv version, so I thought I'd post this YouTube version here.