Why are some Democrats rude to new members?

Please see this link:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x149011

including my comment:


Then you wonder why people are turned off by Democrats...

Democrats can be so full of themselves that they turn those new to politics off. A simple mistake. Forgive me for not being familar with ALL the Democratic leaders. I try my best to help, being new here. And yet rude people act like they are better than others because they know more. How DO YOU expect the Democratic Party to grow if you are unkind to those who are new? Maybe I should become an Independent or a Green Party member instead! :shrug:

The person who corrected you on Reid's name?

The posters seemed to be just joking about the OTHER Reid. I don't think anyone was trying to make fun or be cruel.

in time, you'll learn what you need to know from those willing to help you, or from your own study. Too many don't realize a simple truth: We are all ignorant, just in different topics. And even less realize the companion simple truth: We are all self-educated.

By the way, welcome, hope you enjoy your stay. The Alert Button's your friend, by the way, but not as much as "Ignore."

and was correcting an error for you.

You are very welcome here. I have learned much here and been very upset at times. Seems like you always get more good then bad in the end.

A thick skin is sometimes necessary around here, so please don't take it personally. I learned during my first few months posting here that you can get an extremely good education in liberal politics on DU, but it's a give and take, and we all make errors that someone else inevitably directs our attention to. Most are civil about it, but passions do run hot here at times, so you have to let it roll off easily and be happy to have learned something new. It is an anonymous message board after all, so don't let your natural tendency to react to being told you're wrong get the best of you-- it's much easier to learn from your mistakes when you can do it from behind the mask of anonymity!

I guess I didn't see anything rude, but then again perception is everything. Seriously, I have had some really rude comments/replies on DU, and alot of them are from people I get along with. The hardest thing about message boards is that spoken sentiments often translate poorly into posts but for the most part no one means any harm. Honestly, I'm not trying to be rude but around these parts you need to develop a thicker skin.:hi:

It was an honest question

By the way, things get rough in here. Best not to let your skin get too thin. Trust me, I speak from experience ;)

Also, sorta NOT cricket to post a thread which almost calls out someone in a previous thread. Keeping the discussion in the original thread will win you more fans in the long run/

Not trying to be rude, but constructive critism is something which can be a big help. Hope you take it in the vein it is intended.

havocmom, who also bruieses easily but has learned not to let others see the pain while I work it through and learn from it. ;)

Welcome to the DU. Thicker skin will make this easier for you. Or, yeah, take your ball to some other game :shrug:

Honey, you will have to grow some thick skin around here or you will not make it. But there are rude people no matter what party affiliation you are. I am rude to newbies sometimes because they are trolls. You can always tell.

Welcome to DU by the way. :hi:

On the internet, everybody's a genius. And an idiot. Depending on who you ask.

It's amazing how brave people get behind keyboards when they don't have to face a person. That being said, I think you need to take a step back here and relax a bit.

DU can be a rough place...especially these days, cause this is a community of frustrated and energized people. They don't like what's going on and feel helpless as the ability to affect change are few. So that pent up energy, if it's not being tossed around on some freeper board, ends up getting tossed around here.

I have no idea how long you've been on DU, but my suggestion is to lay back and "read the mail" a bit...get to know the flavor of the place and the "discussion" before you jump in. I did that for a good six months here before I even posted for the first time and then it took me several more months beyond that to start contributing regularly.

DU's also is troll heaven. There's one website dedicated to sending trolls here to disrupt the place and several others that brag about having people "lurking around here" creating hassles. The "regulars" here are very keen to this problem...some more than others and are always on the look-out for disruptors. A sure tip-off to many is a low post count and no donation star. I admit there are times I will avoid getting into a discussion with a "newbie" here since I suspect their motives are to create a disruption here.

So if you're still offended, I'd suggest either finding another message board or comments section (and you'll run into the same type of people there), or learn to grow a thicker skin out here. Many times a person will flame you one day and defend you to the hill the next. It's what makes DU the interesting place it is...

Peace...

..."A sure tip-off to many is a low post count and no donation star...."

I don't much appreciate that comment! ever stop and wonder WHY someone might not HAVE a donor star?? Maybe because we have no frickin' money to GIVE?!?!

I bet YOU were employed all twelve months of last year! I wasn't. I was employed just three. I've run out my unemployment benefits. I am virtually fucked.

and because I don't have the money, rioght now, to donate...you're gonna suspect ME...just because I also happen to have a low post count??

I'm sorry, but this really upsets me!

There are, sometimes, REASONS why people do not have donor stars. And to expect a newbie to IMMEDIATELY DONATE even if they got money...well, that's just absurd.

I think your comment is very prejudicial, very uninformed, and very unfeeling...or not taking into account the situation, financially, someone else may be in!

My situation is so bad, I will likely, for the first time in my life, qualify for the Earned Income Tax Credit. And bet your boots I'm taking it, too, if I can! After the fuck-job Bush and his rotten economy have given me this year, I need every damned cent I can get!!

There always was extended unemployment benefits available, when I had a job, and thus, didn't need them. Now that I NEED THEM...where the hell are the extended benefits?? Nowhere to be found!

I'm sorry, but I am more than a little offended and outraged by your comments and your assumptions!

I just had a dear friend of mine...so close he could be my brother...lose his father-in-law...a wonderful man, who, though I only met him once (at the wedding) I came to like and respect...and I feel like shit, because I don't even have money to send some lousy flowers to the funeral parlor where he will be waked!!

The NERVE of some people...I'm sorry, but this one really frosts me!

You sound like you have had a whole bunch of crap happen to you recently, and life is hard for you right now. My condolences.

Please realize that there are people who come here merely to disrupt and usually, though not always, they do not end up getting many postings in before they are sent away.

Please don't take it out on all of us either. You do not know many of our situations and seem to be striking out in anger, prejudicially, uninformed and unfeelingly. Here is a bit on my situation. I have not worked full time for yrs, have not been able to due to the work I do not being there, health issues and needing to be available for my child. EIC? I get it. I have never gotten unemployment since I am self employed and I have little money also. I didn't donate to DU right away, and now can only give a token of $5, but that is what I do and what works.

So, there are explanations of why DUers react to low count posters, and some personal info showing that what you say about us all isn't true. I hope things get better for you.

We have a lot of enemies. They love to come over here and stir up shit. Low post counts are one way of discerning someone who is well-meaning, but disagrees with us on a particular issue, from someone who needs to be watched closely because he might be just another right-wing troll. If you got caught in the dragnet, sorry about that, but believe me, it's the only way we can keep some semblance of order around here. We do not have a half dozen moderators in some forums because we like to hand out titles like candy.

So chill. PLEASE. And stick around. You're among friends. Really.

It's just the broad brush stroke that I was reacting to. It really frosts me that I ought to be suspect, simply because I have a low post count, and have not the financial wherewithal to donate RIGHT NOW...or, for that matter, in the forseeable future.

Just because I am poor and a newbie, I don't wish to have people think of ME as a possible troll. Trust me, you'll not find a bigger Bush-hater east of the Mississippi River than me.

I totally can't stand him...and I got more reasons to hate him than most folks do.

I sympathize with your situation. I have been there myself. I now am trying to help my children and others who are fighting the worst economy I've ever seen.

That said, DU isn't a charity. It costs a lot of money for the operators of this site to maintain the servers, keep the software running and then playing traffic cop to several thousand free spirits. This is done with very little. A small donation shows a committment to this place and much needed support to the operators of this place.

Again, your personal plights are ones I wish I could wave a wand...but neither do I know the specifics of your situation nor is this the place to deal with that. It's regrettable and I sincerely wish there was something that could be done to make this world a better and fairer place. However, please...this is a message board, a place to relax and share ideas, not to bring one's problems.

Peace...

Maybe I was being a bit too sensitive, but I'm a military wife and mother waiting to find out if my husband is going to Iraq for his second tour. I AM emotional, about what's happening to our country, to our Constitution, and to freedom! I have been a Democrat ALL my life, but lately I'm starting to wonder if politicians are all the same. I have been 'listening' to these message boards for at least 3-4 months. Maybe that's not long enough to 'get it', and I'll try and develop a 'thicker skin'. I worked hard for General Clark and then John Kerry in the last election that was stolen again. I've given money, hard work, and tears for this party, but if scAlito gets in I think Democrats should leave the party with a mass exit. If our leaders vote with republicans what's the point? Anyway,
I'll try and learn more, but I'm just saying you guys need to support your new members, not drive them away because you think they are freepers. It's hurtful and unfair. Thanks for listening.

:hi:

Don't get discouraged. We've all gotten ambushed at one time or another because of a stupid spelling error or getting some names mixed up. It happens. Honestly, judging by what I saw in the thread, I don't think anyone was trying to be rude - it was just the usual teasing that shows up when one of us screws up, LOL! DUers LOVE to correct other DUers! :evilgrin: It also shows up when someone asks a "stupid" question - of course, the poster is dead serious about the question they're asking, but sometimes a DUer or two will post sarcastic (but funny) answers. It's just part of being a DUer. Don't let it get to you. :hug:

Look at it this way - right now, there are 83,031 registered users on this board and one or two people made you feel bad .... but 83,029 didn't! ;-)

You may want to "undisable" your profile. Just answer one or two of the questions...

A lot of our trolls on here disable their profiles, which kind of gets some of the long time member's hackles up.

We should do a better job of being more welcoming.

Maybe someday our liberal talk will match our liberal walk 100%.

Until then, welcome to DU... I hope that your husband doesnt have to return to this horrible war. Being a bit emotional is not only understandable, it is human :)

*good vibes*

Your kind words are much appreciated.

Just today some of his guys left for Iraq. One of them hadn't yet recieved his flack jacket! Can you believe that? That's bullsh**!!!

Have to say, if you think the reply to your post was rude, you should have seen the potty-mouth-filled-rants I received from some members when I was new here and had the temerity to suggest publicly cheering for the death of Dick Cheney (or anyone) might not be a good thing.

You've probably noticed that on any message board you won't have to read far to find messages which could be interepreted as rude responses, and messages which couldn't be interpreted any other way.

As for politics, by the very nature of the discussion, I would venture to say you will not find Independents or Greens a model of civility either.

or someone is likely to make you cry.

Welcome to DU

:cry:

ruining our country have put everyone on edge. Your heart is in the right place and so are the other posters. And that is what really matters.

Stick around because we all need each other right now.

I love a good barroom brawl more than most people, and I've even been shocked and offended by responses to my posts at times the last few days. And, um, some of mine may have been a little aggressive in return... I'll be glad when the Alito thing is over, hopefully with the ending we all want.

emotions and our expectations, doesn't it?

It's very unwise to base an entire party on one experience.

We get so used to being in our little heated debates with each other that when we wander into another thread we still use the same tone, even if we mean nothing by it. That's not a particular Democrat or even political thing, I've been tooling around the Internet since the mid 90s and that's rather ubiquitous.

And the responder may have been a Green or Independent. There are plenty of both around here.

Welcome to DU!! :hi:

If that offends you when they fixed the spelling mistake Du might not be a good message board for you if you are that delicate. Because fact is there are a few rude Duers who can get truly nasty and rude and you have to accept that and don't let it bother you. But also if you see a comment that is too extreme you can alert on it and the moderators will erase it for you so there are some safeguards in place.

But keep in mind politics is a fiery subject and it can get pretty heated just by the nature of the topic.

Nobody has been rude to me yet :)

:) Seriously, welcome to DU!

Oh, Welcome to DU! :hi:

:spank:

Welcome to DU.:hi:

I just know it.

full of smiley faces.. maybe you'll squeak by -- For NOW.

But....... I'll be watchin' you, yes sireee. I'll. be. watchin'. you.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAA.


Welcome to DU, by the way. :hi:

Welcome to DU!

We are nice, but sticklers for accuracy. Make sure of your facts before posting and you shouldn't have any problem. Welcome to DU.

Some, as you can see by this thread, can be very informative and helpful. I agree it has something to do with hiding behind a keyboard and anonymity. Other than that, it's a free country, and that's something to celebrate. This site would never exist in China.

I'll sic my attack Bunnies on them. :)

:-)

I'm still nursing the injuries from the last time you used those things around here.

They're decended from that badass bunny from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

We would like you to stay.

:grouphug:

But please understand that what you experience in that thread was absolutely nothing. If you want to have a productive stay here you are going to have to bolster down and have a far thicker skin, or you will be eaten alive.

I don't mean that harshly whatsoever. You seem sensitive and I'm sure are an absolutely wonderful person with the best of intentions. But the poster meant no harm to you and most of us here are generally aware that we need a certain level of tolerance for the replies that are bound to come our way at times.

Please understand no one would ever intentionally want to hurt you, but there can be some attacks here and impulsive heartless statements sometimes but that's just the way it is. You have to take it in stride and know that DU as a whole OVERWHELMINGLY is full of incredible people who would go above and beyond for you when needed to do so. Trust me, you aren't going to find a community online of more caring people than on DU. Just do your best to browse threads for a while to get a better understanding of what to expect, and may everything work out well for you.

God bless and goodnight.

:hi:

Everybody makes mistakes.

I didn't see the original thread before you edited it, but from the replies, it looks like you called "Harry Reid" "Ralph Reid."

That's not something you should be embarrassed about and it is no reason to be rude to you. But, I don't think the poster who corrected you was being rude. The mistake was something that should have been corrected quickly because there is a fairly well known right wing nut and Abramoff associate named "Ralph Reed." You wouldn't want people who just read headlines to walk away with the wrong idea.

But, don't worry about it. Let it roll off your back.

But I don't think pointing out a spelling mistake is being rude, nor does it make democrats full of themselves. It's only spelling, nothing elitist about getting the spelling of someone's name correctly.

P.S. - welcome to DU

they were correcting an error. i do it to others and others have done it to me. i find it helpful. usually we thank the person who helps us catch our error.

i'm sorry you were offended or hurt. but i promise you, the person was not making fun of you in any way.

I guess it's like anywhere - sometimes people can be rude, sometimes people are unbelievably helpful. I've learned a whole lot since I found this site & it's really a good resource. You probably do need a thick skin, though, especially in the political forums. The DU Lounge is apparantly much more laid back. And after reading that thread, I don't think people meant any ill-will; it looks they were trying to correct the post & it probably wasn't meant to be personal. Sometimes it helps to observe for a while to get a "feel" for the place & decide if it's somewhere you'd like to stay.

or think that we DUers are in any way representative of the party as a whole. And please don't base your decision on party membership on the behavior of a handfull of anonymous posters on an internet board.

The truth is that rudeness is a near universal feature of internet message boards. This includes political boards of whatever stripe, and non-political ones as well. It probably gets worse the larger and more diverse the board is. There is probably some very interesting sociological phenomenon going on. Maybe it's the anonymity aspect. It has nothing to do with the fact that people here are Democrats (in addition to the fact that many here are not Democrats; I think you will find that the Greens, socialists, and Independents on this board are not less rude than the registered Democrats here).

At any rate, a thick skin is definitely needed in order to be a regular participant here. Looking at the thread in question, the post that you found rude was extremely mild. Stick around for awhile and you are guaranteed to see some real rudeness.

It may simply be that message boards are not your thing and that your time and energy would be much better spent in working with real people in your local Democratic party organization.

At any rate, welcome to DU and please do not mistake normal internet group dynamics for what the Democratic party stands for.:hi:

:shrug:

"Why are SOME Democrats rude to new members"?

I most certainly WAS NOT painting with a broad brush!

SOME people also have persecution complexes. Not all, but SOME.

PEACE.

I have NEVER been mistreated here. Quite the contrary, this is the friendliest and most inclusive forum I've ever been in.


EVERYONE welcomed me at first, and all have since been kind and tolerant of my ignorance of how to navigate this site. Other boards usually are petty and clique-ish. DU has a bad name at other boards, but only because DU remains liberal ONLY, unwilling to allow ReTHUG points of view. I think the others are jealous of the success of DU and thus bad mouth us for it.


It was my lucky day when I started posting here.

Welcome but I think you should be a member of a party that shares your convictions first and foremost!

Not just for that. I'm pretty frustrated with the party right now, though.
I'm beginning to think most of them, no matter what party they are from, are
corrupt. Take what Sen. Dianne Feinstein said today: "This might be a man I disagree with, but it doesn't mean he shouldn't be on the court." Link: http://www.forbes.com/business/healthcare/feeds/ap/2006/01/15/ap2450894.html

Are these people fighting for America and defending our Constitution or not????
Statements like that make me wonder.
:banghead:

I am so with you there.

There will be frustration, in Washington, here...some will disagree with you but don't let take it to heart. All in all this is a great onoline community and I am glad you're here.

:hi:

Ignore 'em. Welcome to DU. :hi:

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

I hate the idiot in the White House. Hate him with a passion! If I put my feelings into words I couldn't post them here. Okay, they probably watch me anyway...so, I belong to MoveOn.org, Military Families Speak Out (MFSO), Some of the icons on my desktop are RawStory.com, Buzzflash.com, Antiwar.com, NewsAmericaNow, JeffRense.com, MichaelMoore.com, OpEdNews.com, Truthout.com, Project for the Old American Century, and many, many others. I listen to Bernie Ward & Ray Taliaferro, sometimes staying up most of the night because Ray's show is so good! Last Wednesday night I got into a big fight with my son, who was in the Navy, because he doesn't think the idiot * will be impeached and I DO! I got into a heated discussion just yesterday with my husband, who has been in the National Guard for over 26 years and been to the Middle East at least 4 times. He's not so sure * is as evil as I am, and still believes the 9-11 bullsh** our government is telling us! I'll keep working on him. I AM frustrated, frustrated with the Democratic Party, frustrated with the stupid people of this country, and frustrated that we are being taken over by a facist tyrant, who said our Constitution was just a "G-damn piece of paper"! I hope that's enough to convince you guys that I AM NOT a troll. If not, let me know. I do have more proof. Pictures from the General's campaign, Pic's with Kerry, Edwards, and their wives. Propably more pics I have put away. Pictures I used to look at with hope, that I now look at and wonder where in the HELL our beloved country is headed, and what this year holds in store for us. I just have to wonder.....

you may want to get to work on a thicker skin. They werent rude to you, atleast from the thread you linked.

Perhaps you were just reading a tone into their replies?

You are right though, often we eat our own young.. just not in this specific example :)

No body is better than you. They may just be a little less sensitive. Just tell a moderator and talk it out. The worst thing is when they misinterpret you and they all gang up like a pack of mad dogs. They apologize when they calm down.

:patriot:

I love my mom!

I am disappointed with DU this evening...:-(

<snip>Democrats can be so full of themselves that they turn those new to politics off. <snip>


I have heard the same statement from a few of my fathers' RW friends. It seems to be a rationale as to why Dems are all elitist (sigh)..

Please - either cognitively figure out the big picture....... or, whatever.

Why are you here?

You guys are indeed a suspicious group. I am so much a Democrat that my blood is probably blue!
Read my statement above...

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

of the rudeness I was referring to!!!

I'm one of the milder posters here, too. You made a stupid mistake, got caught and started whining about how meeeeeeean everyone is. Call the whaaaaaaaambulance or grow up.

That's how this place works. While there are some that treat newbies with suspicion, most are very welcoming. But you will still need a thick skin on this site.

Keep in mind that there are many noobs that aren't just making innocent mistakes (which is obvious what yours was), but in fact are repeating RW lies (just the other day I saw two or three constantly repeating RW talking points of Dems being involved in the scandal).

And btw, welcome to DU!

This has gotten out of hand, my friends.