Memo to Dan Abrams: How MSNBC can beat FOX and CNN...

johnfunk

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Mon Jun-26-06 02:33 PM
Original message

Memo to Dan Abrams: How MSNBC can beat FOX and CNN...

Edited on Mon Jun-26-06 02:41 PM by johnfunk

... like a bad piece of meat!

TO: Dan Abrams
FROM: johnfunk at DU
RE: Kicking ratings ass
DATE: June 26, 2006

When I read the article in this morning's NY Times–particularly the bit about using "pre-taped" content for prime time–my heart sunk at first.

Then it hit me: since you're keeping Tweety and Olbermann, you and the other powers-that-be may be on to something.

So how indeed do you put CNN in the CAN and outfox FOX, with its loud newsmodels, Billo and the rest?

Simple–dump the gawdawful stuff you've been running on Friday night and replace it with...

(drum roll......)

REALITY TV!

I guaran-frackin-tee you that if you develop these four series for starters, you'll have the 18-to-99 demographic locked up in the cable news category. Here goes...

"K Street Survivor"—Host Joe Scarborough, who knows a few things about how an "average Joe" can go from zero to a few million in a couple years, leads sixteen ambitious young lobbyists through the Beltway's most brutal competition: they must outlie, outcheat and outsteal each other to see who can generate the most graft, or be voted off the firm! (... if they are not indicted first, that is.) The winner picks up all of Grover Norquist's clients once the rotund, corrupt little crook is frog-marched away.

"The Amazing Racists"—Michael Savage returns to MSNBC in this wacky border-to-border race as Minutemen vs. Skinheads fight it out to see who's the Whitest of them all!

"Big Brother 2006"—Host Richard Perle locks 16 people in a suite of the Old Executive Office Building, where they compete to create the government program that can most effectively strip Americans of the most constitutional rights!

"The Joe Shmoe Show 3"—on the campaign trail with Joe Lieberman!

Okay, Dan, you know what to do...

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Oceansaway

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Mon Jun-26-06 02:51 PM
Response to Original message

1. TOUCHE !!..n/t

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johnfunk

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Mon Jun-26-06 04:50 PM
Response to Reply #1

3. Thanks!

I just couldn't resist... and besides, you've gotta admit they'd ALL draw way more viewers than "Deadintern Country," "No-ti-uation" and "Rita Cosby's Missing White Chicks Gone Wild."

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MADem

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Mon Jun-26-06 02:53 PM
Response to Original message

2. Jesus, that is FUNNY.....!!!!!!!!!!!! Very, VERY well done! NT

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johnfunk

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Mon Jun-26-06 04:50 PM
Response to Reply #2

4. TYVM!

Wonder if Abrams' people have seen it...

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johnfunk

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Mon Jun-26-06 06:03 PM
Response to Original message

5. Self-serving KICK! This WILL save MSNBC... trust me!

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PA Democrat

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Mon Jun-26-06 06:12 PM
Response to Original message

6. LOL! But you HAVE to find something for Rita Cosby

and Tucker.

How about that show "Clean Sweep" on TLC where they go into a dirty home and make the people clean out the mess. Maybe Rita could host "Clean Sweep Congressional Corruption". I'll bet she would LOVE investigating all those golf junkets Abramoff paid for. There are SURE to be some "dead bodies" to be found.

I think Tucker has already been a subject on a show like "What NOT to Wear" as he has recently "lost" the nerdy bow tie look. Alas! He's still a nerd!

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johnfunk

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Mon Jun-26-06 08:14 PM
Response to Reply #6

7. Got the prefect show for Rita...

"Dicky Ticker Treasure Hunt"�Teams of journalists and amateurs follow the clues in search of Dick Cheney's undisclosed location! Sure beats looking for missing white girls...

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Nimrod2005

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Tue Jun-27-06 03:31 PM
Response to Reply #6

11. Rita and Tucker can play house midnight to 6 Am, when real

programming resumes...

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johnfunk

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Mon Jun-26-06 10:36 PM
Response to Original message

8. Yet another KICK -- something to read besides busted Rush Limpdick

:kick:

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me b zola

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Mon Jun-26-06 11:09 PM
Response to Original message

9. I'm glad to give ya #5

:thumbsup:

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bleever

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Mon Jun-26-06 11:25 PM
Response to Original message

10. Recommended, and damn:

I thought you were serious til I got part way through.

MSNBC could do a leapfrog here. Dan Abrams might be the guy. Son of Floyd Abrams, piloted his own show, ready for bigger challenges, and hip to the paradigm.

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