A plea for better-constructed paragraphs

badly organized posts obscure our thoughts and make us look bad to many republicans (those who can read and completed the fifth grade anyway).

So please, please, in the name of all that is holy, please . . . make sure your paragraphs have a beginning, a middle and an end.

:toast:

:toast:

ever.

N/T.

Shatner...takes...the...longest...pregnant...pauses...of...any...actor.

have

to post

really long threads

to get

everything

in

that

he wanted

to say

Especially when you want to make a point. Or a memorable quote. Or a thought that deserves to stand alone.

It's like you think there's a problem with people typing stream-of-conscious posts that don't utilize punctuation but continue on for line after line after line and cover various topics ranging from the price of gas to abortion to the Iraq war with no end in sight until either the keyboard falls apart in their hands or their cat jumps on the keyboard causing the message to be posted before they were finished typing what could have been an earth-shattering post that just blows everyone away with its wit and incisive revelations into the world of politics that affects all of us in ways that we cannot even begin to imagine and are actually scared to imagine as to do so would lead us to cower in fear under our beds with cans of tuna and cocoon ourselves in homes with doors and windows sealed shut with miles of duct tape while we await the inevitable terror attack from evil doers around the world who we are told hate us for our freedom but in reality are just sick and tired of being sick and tired.












Or something.

sentence?

:D

Which verb would go at the end?

because, if a freeper happened to be trolling DU, he or she might claim you were a NAZI!

Edit to add this very important link...

http://www.bartleby.com/95/

To my mistress I speak French
To my bankers I speak English
My horses only understand German

Funny. :rofl:

I have even written a book on diagramming sentences. But I wouldn't know how to put the diagrammed version online. (Actually, my book is about grammar, but I use diagrams to illustrate grammatical structures, and teach diagramming along the way.)

A truck driver from New York who diagramemd sentneces in his mind to pass the hours on the road once went to my grammar and usage site to send me a request for help diagramming the 16th Amendment to the Constitution. After I sent it to him, he liked it so well that he had it framed and hung in his office at home. Although I didn't ask for anything in return, he sent me a nice collection of decorative writing paper as a gift.

NESS.

typing away and ....



ah....screw it!

;)

LIKE THE CRAZY GUY ON THE SUBWAY WHO DOESN'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HE IS SAYING BUT HE KNOWS IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT AND WANTS TO MAKE SURE YOU HEAR EVERY WORD!

of what they were pleading against!

Vhet ere-a yuoo telkeeng ebuoot? It's leeke-a yuoo theenk zeere's a prublem veet peuple-a typeeng streem-ooff-cunsceeuoos pusts thet dun't uteelize-a poonctooeshun boot cunteenooe-a oon fur leene-a effter leene-a effter leene-a und cufer fereeuoos tupeecs rungeeng frum zee preece-a ooff ges tu eburshun tu zee Ireq ver veet nu ind in seeght unteel ieezeer zee keybuerd fells epert in zeeur hunds oor zeeur cet joomps oon zee keybuerd cooseeng zee messege-a tu be-a pusted beffure-a zeey vere-a feenished typeeng vhet cuoold hefe-a beee un iert-shettereeng pust thet joost bloos iferyune-a evey veet its veet und inceesife-a refeleshuns intu zee vurld ooff puleetics thet effffects ell ooff us in veys thet ve-a cunnut ifee begeen tu imegeene-a und ere-a ectooelly scered tu imegeene-a es tu du su vuoold leed us tu cooer in feer under oooor beds veet cuns ooff toona und cucuun oooorselfes in humes veet duurs und veendoos seeled shoot veet meeles ooff dooct tepe-a vheele-a ve-a eveeet zee inefeeteble-a terrur etteck frum ifeel duers eruoond zee vurld vhu ve-a ere-a tuld hete-a us fur oooor freedum boot in reeleety ere-a joost seeck und tured ooff beeeng seeck und tured. Bork bork bork!

I'm sick of people who never do cuss...it ain't normal bye damned.

Edit...whadda' you want...good grammar or good taste!1!11!!11!1?

could be a problem if you work with sharp objects or heavy machinery.

participle in the twinkling of an eye!

:rofl:

Things would just go so smoothly if you did.

you are right again

and when you are right, you are right.

Or perhaps like that?

Who gives a crap what they think?

They have always "looked bad" to me.

What utter nonsense!

therefore, they are superior in every way that counts here in Murka.

what are you, a commie?

Turn on your sarcasm meter, please.

Don't use words like "Asshole", "Major-league asshole", "MOFO", "Go fuck yourself", etc. We must remain pure at all times.

Well, fuck that shit.

or the motherfucking repuke cunt dickwads will get all fucking pissed off and decide we don't know what the fuck we are talking about

Are you saying that you need to use dirty words like nipplelickin' earhumpin' anusmonger in order to get your point across? Well how's my dead grandma supposed to come to DU? Or my three year old chihuaha Jack? I mean, he can't read yet, but when I finally get him to apply himself, what'll happen if the first word he learns is "dogfucker" or "cuntbreath?"

I challenge thee to a duel! Foul-mouthed swine!!!

:+

It's all a part of a stratagery of misunderestimation.

This is why I come here.

:eyes:

is another man's fertilizer

snicker

:rofl:

You mean to tell me stupidity is only flattering on fascists?

takes mucho dinero to be as stupid as, say, king george, or rummie.

...have a beginning, a middle and an end.

and if possible, make sure the beginning is at the beginning and has a clear beginning-beginning and beginning-end, the middle be in the middle and have a middle-beginning and a middle-end, and the end be at the end and have an end-beginning and and an end-end.

and frequently mistaken for the middle-beginning.

:-)

...up with which i cannot put."--churchill

Nothing doesn't annoy me more then bad grammer and ect.





:eyes: :eyes: :eyes:

"should of"

:rofl:

iz ALL bushez folt!!

I hate that.

I really do.

It's like everything the writer is saying is a separate pearl of wisdom.

Either that or they can't develop a thought long enough to sustain.

You know?

it

can

be

taken

to

extremes

this is known as a string of pearls

I doubt they even know what a paragraph is since they cannot seem to find the capslock key, much less a dictionary - then again, it's probably hard to see since their heads are so far up their asses.


fuck! I cussed. my bad. Crap! That wasn't a sentance at all! THIS IS SERIESLY HUGH!

ya think?

okay. i will.

nicely done :)

:evilgrin:

Zig Zag

Move 'Zig'

I wonder if these posts actually change any habits?

the move to legalize Lonnie Anderson's hair was damaged by sentence structure. We need to comb our teeth before we speak softly especially when chewing a big stick of gum.

of gum

how far does that get me with Lonnie Anderson?

speak up. I can hardly hear you.

to capitalize. I'm not sure Lonnie would date anyone who fails to capitalize. This hurts DU's image with republican gum-chewers.

H-E double hockey sticks!

Eye don't believe it. This is a civil bored. What will the republigums think?

"Must screw someone out of their money. Must screw someone out of their money. Must screw someone out of their money. Must loudly proclaim my superiority. I know! I'll buy another Hummer and cut hippies off in traffic!"

to Al Gore's beard. How can we trust him about this globular warning stuff? A beard?

:rofl:

Despite the entreaty. People all have different writing and thinking styles, and not everyone is a natural or practiced writer. In fact, I am simply grateful that people here have some of the basics down, including spelling.

Writing doesn't come easily to everyone, either. For some people, it's a second language, and for some others, putting thoughts on paper is hard enough, without having to worry about the niceties.

I think we just need to cut everyone some slack and let them write however they feel comfortable, but with the hope that some people will take a little longer to sort out their thoughts before committing them to the page.



On edit: I'm afraid I always treat these grammar threads a little too seriously!

we'll get you a new red pencil for your birthday.

and an updated, revised edition of the Chicago Guide.

Thanks! :rofl:

(I prefer Strunk and White!)

the Abbott and Costello of the English Language.

that doesn't make what they have to say any less important.

and if paragraphs get in the way, then just use cusswords and swearwords instead . . .






sar·casm P Pronunciation Key (särkzm)
n.
1. A cutting, often ironic remark intended to wound.
2. A post on DU that most people don't get.

sar·casm P Pronunciation Key (särkzm)
n.
1. A cutting, often ironic remark intended to wound.
2. A post on DU that most people don't get.

And I got the sarcasm. I was just pointing out that I got it and I agreed. I guess you didn't get it.

But seriously, one of the things I really really liked about DU was that for the most part, the other posters (unless they really hated what you were saying or were in for a snark fest) try to look at the meaning, the content, the essence of what you were trying to say and just plain forgiving at the emoting that goes on around here contstantly.

Not all the picking apart of spelling and semantics, and all that crapola that other sites LIVE for. Language is the first and best weapon of the propagandists. Keep your language your own.

I completely missed what you were trying to say.

Was it important?

just kidding! :-)


just like I was in the OP.

used to!

And I liked talking about Mike Hunt too!

and I'll show you Mike Hunt.

Aww jeez. I can't believe I stooped this low.

My Hunt is aiken to serve!

http://www.aikencountysheriff.org/

Because I won't finish reading a post if it's not.

But I dont' think we should give a shit what the republcians think of us. Maybe we should only write in talking points.

middle.

end.

god is on the side of good paragraphs.

thank you all

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

/wink

Those RW Christians that we are trying to win over are really offended by poor writing. LOL

its toadally there desishun.

which most posters do not use.

the high level of superb smart-ass humor we have on DU.

:toast: to all you smart-asses.

The make us look LIKE Republicans. :rofl:

It isn't even a contest.


Perhaps if a degree in English led to a good paying job.......You're right, my syntax sucks.

1) Compose the message.

2) Run it through spell check.
----The DU spell check is good, but I have some sort of problem with it I can't figure out, so dictionary.com is always at the ready. If it's long, I copy it and run it through a word program with a spell checker.

3) Preview it.
----The layout that will be viewed by others is now apparent. See if it looks like something you would want to read. (Ex: Big blocks of text are uninviting and hard to read on a computer screen, try breaking them into smaller pieces.)

4) READ IT.
----Read the whole thing. Word for word. Proofreading will help pick up the odd word that the spell check didn't catch. (There instead of their, to instead of too, etc.) It will also give you more of a sense of how someone reading it will perceive it. The whole idea is to convey your exact thoughts and feelings to other people. Reading it over will let you have a pretty good idea if you've done that or not.

5) Post.
----Sometimes I'll go away after posting for a few minutes, read some other posts, and come back. I read it again and use the edit function to make myself more clear or to correct the mistake that eluded me in the other steps.

I know this seems a bit time consuming. But if you have gone to the trouble to sit down and write something you feel is important enough to share with the world, a little extra time might ensure someone might actually read and understand it.

I can't tell you how many posts every day that I just skip over because it looks like it will take until lunchtime to wade through it. Or that if the first few sentences are too hard to understand, I'll just give up and move on.

And finally, I know not everybody was an English major. I don't think we expect Will Pitt caliber exposition from everybody. And mistakes will sometimes get through no matter how much care you put into the process. If you proofread and it makes sense to you, it will probably make sense to others.

(LOL, edited for 3 mistakes!)

the thred is ded. ain't it?

Because of the '4 paragraph rule', I have seen way too many new articles online wherein one sentence is a paragraph and the entire article is composed of paragraphs that all contain one sentence. DU'ers are just learning from the professionals.

You know, like when you're quoting somebody? And you leave part of it out? But you want to let the reader know you meant to leave it out? You use what grammaticians call "the three-dots thing", like this:

Spelling! And what about those their, there and they're. We are a mess!!! ;)

I don't give a shi bout republikans cuz they's just wrong an stuff

And that's the point.

(I know, you were jokig, but man it took me awhile to sort it out!..)

;)