Just had an unsettling conversation with someone in the military

I have an old motorcycle for sale here locally. A young man just called and we had a 10+ minute conversation about the bike.

He ended EVERY sentence (edit.. question or answer) with 'Sir" or "Yes Sir". He must have addressed me as 'Sir" well over 100 times in 10 minutes. It started bothering me, so I asked him if he was in the military, he said yes. I thanked him for his service. (even though I am 100% against the war on Iraq) I told him he didn't have to call me 'Sir' and he answered "Yes Sir" and then seemed UNABLE to actually utter a sentence (edit.. question or answer) without ending it in 'Sir' or "Yes Sir"

I found this very unsettling. I am not his superior. We are equals in this situation, and yet he COULDN'T not call me sir or say it every 10 seconds by rote.

Weird!

It is a sign of respect for a young man to call an older man "sir". He may have been taught that by his parents before every joining the military, and then the military reinforced it.

Now its don't call me Sir I was a NCO lol

It's something that's hammer into a basic during training. He'll calm down after awhile and when he starts to accummulate the stripes.

would have realized he had the guy at a psychological disadvantage and would have used that knowledge to attempt to take advantage of the guy.

thanks for not being an asshole.

you can take the man out of the military but you can't take the military out of the man...

...never been in the military either...I don't think it's weird at all. :shrug:

I see nothing wrong whatsoever in using the honorific as merely an ordinary sign of respect for another human being. It also defuses any sense of feeling aged/obsolete when they say it to me - and it's amazing how immediate it makes our interaction feel egalitarian. So, while I certainly did get a fair dose of military in my younger years, I feel quite comfortable saying "Sir" and "Ma'am" quite liberally (in both senses of the word).

..to understand bein' polite or respectful using these as *endearments* in most cases to mean you've been brainwashed or conditioned...that to ME seems backward and weird...but I guess that's the way o'the world now...instead be as assholish or standoffish as you want and THAT is acceptable somehow?! :crazy:

:hi: :hug:

She always says "yes ma'am" or "thank you ma'am" to me. Its part of being a Marine.

As a Southerner, I was raised to say yes ma'am/sir and no ma'am/sir. It's the polite way to address someone who is older or who has seniority

...to my elders into me. :D

:hi:

ACTING respectful was enough for him. And he also thought a person should earn respect.

...to say Ma'am and Sir as an endearment. :)

in No FL and so many of my employees were born and raised in the South. They are always the ones that call me Miss ______, even though I prefer just my name. Plus, they 'yes ma'am' me constantly. I know they do it out of respect, so I've just had to get use to it. They also call me Boss Lady, which really cracks me up.

If you are in fact female, I would agree that the man's conduct was strange.

But I live in Southern California, and don't hear this Sir, Maam stuff here much at all.

When I was 10 years old, my stepfather's job had him transferred to Alamogordo, NM for most of a year. We returned to San Diego on the day of the Apollo 11 moon landing.

My first day at school in Alamogordo, sixth grade, was traumatic in many respects. The hardest for me was being required to address teachers and school officials as Sir or Ma'am. I may have never uttered the word Ma'am ever before in my life, and used Sir only in the context of childhood "army" games.

People from different places have different standards. I get called Sir in Texas even though I am a long-haired hippie freak.

We were part of a provisional (read 'part time') riot control unit.

I was instructed to answer the phone thusly: "Brave Fox Delta, provisional riot control battalion, headquarters, headquarters company, Commander's office, Specialist 4 Lib speaking sir, may I help you?"

I can still do it today without hesitation.

Last time i had to take "incoming" phone calls, the answer was thusly: "options".

It went without saying, "<xyz> brothers, options trading", but i always liked the
irony of the "options" of a person calling and putting one over! :-)

Another one i had to use, a lifetime ago: "operator 107, what city please." And i'd
have nightmares that people couldn't find "S. Williams", somewhere in Los Angeles,
or maybe the valley.

"First Merchants' National Bank, this is "........" speaking, may I help you"

My dear friend once bowed her head at the Thanksgiving table and said..""First Merchants' National Bank, this is Rosalie speaking, may I help you"... Totally cracked up her family.. I think they never let her forget that..

Was on duty with a fellow enlisted man who dabbled in amateur pharmacology. On this particular day his pupils were a bit more dilated than usual. Phone rings. He picks up and says,"Yeah, whatcha' want."

I can hear the other side of the conversation across the desk, "This is your battalion commander, who am I speaking to!" To which the fellow says,"Don't know, do ya'?" and hangs up.

I spent the next five minutes convincing the commander that the phone had not run in the last half hour . . .

for me to stop answering the phone' "1st Special Operations Command Public Affairs Office Specialist xx speaking Sir or Mam. This line is not secure."

I had to say,

"HQ, 14th CSSG, MARFORPAC, Corporal Dmesg speaking, be advised: this is an unsecure line. how may I help you sir or ma'am?"

And, yeah, still rolls trippingly off the tongue.

and I'm glad to say I don't remember.

But I do remember starting to automatically answer, a couple years after discharge, and even today the phone is picked up before the third ring.

And I hate telephones. Wouldn't have one if I didn't absolutely need to have one, and never had, and never will have, a cell phone.

a phone line and each home had it's own "ring"--one short, one short and one long etc. my grandfather and I were just hanging out. The phone rang and it was his "ring". It went on and on until I asked him if he was going to answer it. He said, "No, I put the damn thing in for MY convenience."

Do not raise, lower, rotate or radiate from any mast or antenna.
There are men working in the sail.

Said over the 1MC. I remember it like yesterday, 20+ years ago.

-Hoot

Automated telemarketing dialers will think you're an answering machine and give up.

some places in usa people "sir" and "maam"everyone.

using forms of address such as 'sir' and 'ma'am.'

When in Rome... :)

since I was raised calling older women ma'am and I sure didn't feel old. I like the sir/ma'aming of the areas that do it for everyone. Seems, well, mannerly.

by a Waffle House waitress. I remember it like it was yesterday! :)

"Thank you ma'am." I said that to a store clerk today after I finished my purchase.

"Yes ma'am." My bank teller said that to me today is respnse to my question.

"Yes sir." I said that today in response to an older male friend who asked me to do him a favor and help feed his horses.

...Thank You!" ;)

I am not an officer in his military - I am an equal in a non military encounter

Better to 'sir' you too often than to fail to 'sir' just one prick officer.

:evilgrin:

...consider yourself lucky.

:rofl:

:toast:

Thus may I be kindly permitted to "take up the slack", as it were?
:D

;-)

;-)

I was that way for a least 3 months after I ETSd from the Army. Don't take it personally, it is a conditioned response.

I call them sir or ma'am all the time. it's a sign of respect.

when obviously you weren't. I can see being unsettled by contact with a person repeatedly giving you a conditioned response.

That after I told him that he didn't need to call me Sir, he was actually unable to converse without saying it at the end of EVERY sentence. (edit.. question or answer)

I was only in for 3 years and must have said 'sir' and 'Sergeant ________' about a zillion times. I probably said it in my sleep!

I've lived in a military town before, and have gad quite a few family members in various branches of the military. They HAVE to do that, so it becomes reflex. It means nothing.

My BIL was a CWO in the Army, and he ran into a soldier of his about two years after he got out on a medical... he said the boy kept on calling him "Chief," even when he told him to call him by his first name...

It's a good thing in the service, IMHO. Don't question your orders, just execute them. Don't think. Thinking gets your buddies killed; just do as you're told by your superiors, and do it right goddamned now.

While that's a good thing in combat, it's not so good back here in the world, where critical thinking is sometimes regarded as advantageous.

he called me "Sir".

He's calmed down a bit since then.

I came out of bootcamp yes sir'ing and no sir'ing everyone...until a petty officer told me to can it, he worked for a living like I did. I really had to work to rein in the habit!

to do so. I also do not allow people to refer to me as Mr.

Seems like kind of a jerk thing to do, really.

ask them not to? :shrug:

I've been in britain too long, as when i read that headline, i had visions of nuclear war,
AKA the film "miracle mile", "Forget everything you just heard and hang up the phone."

"unsettling" and "disturbing" are very strong words indeed. You had a "trifle", or a "bit of
a bother", "a curious incident", "brainwashing and its effects", "curious" event, indeed,
but not unsettling, not disturbing, typical rather. And happily. :-) No wars, a zens story
instead.

But I guess that's better than being called "dawg". My nephew called me that one time and I almost slapped him silly. :)

Just spit my Mountain Dew onto the keyboard! Good thing it still works, or you would have had to buy me a new one, ma'am.

....don't think you're old enough to be called Ma'am...it' gets easier to accept the older you get. :D

That's actually one of the reasons I didn't stay in the south, I didn't want my kids indoctrinated with that kind of authoritarianism. I don't think it's healthy. But that is the way they do things and they seem to think it's a good idea, so whatever.

But they can't say it produces better kids/citizens seeing as they have the highest teen pregnancy, crime and murder rates in the country.

during peacetime.

We gave him so much shit because for about a month after he got back he addressed EVERYONT with Sir, or Yes Sir. It was funny watching him break the habit. He really struggled with it. :D

camp, where it's been ground into him.

they have it drilled into their heads to say "Sir" when they're in basic training so that it becomes second nature. This guy probably has it so ingrained that he couldn't stop it without a conscious effort every moment of a conversation, which would be exhausting.