(News) Local Police Dept to issue Plate Armor to cops

By I.M. Gioking

PLEASENTVILLE (Reuters) - In reaction to the numerous incidents of police using deadly force against suspects who are unarmed or armed only with knives, the Pleasentville Police Department has bought and issued suits of medieval Plate Armor to its patrolmen. A spokesman for PPD said that "Golly, we don't want to hurt anyone, we just want to enforce the law peacefully. Now, when our officers are confronted with a violent person wielding a knife, they can just walk up to them and let them attack. The armor will deflect the knife, and after a few minutes of attacking the suspect will just get plum tired and pass out. Then the officer can take them into custody all safe and peaceful like." The PPD was also considering issuing their officers bulletproof vests and tasers, but didn't have enough in the budget after purchasing the suits of armor.











:sarcasm: