Got the following 'joke' e-mail from my Rethug brother

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner?

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.
The answer can be found by posing the following question:


You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?


................................................................

Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.


...............................................................

Republican's Answer:
BANG!


................................................................

Southerner's Answer: *
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?
Son: Can I shoot the next one!
Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!


******************

I rewrote the Republican reply and sent it back:

Republican answer:

Wait, let me give a tax cut to the rich first, then we can cut funding for security, make sure everyone ‘we’ know is behind a gated community fence, then we can recruit someone else’s kid to go put on a uniform without armor or any real protection and then ask them to shoot the bad guy for us. And if they get shot first, we can cut their health are and point them to a homeless shelter, cuz those wounded veterans are real eyesores.

We will be rooting our soldiers on, from the safety of a bunker, somewhere far from the actual fight, counting our money. (And praying that none of these riffraff veterans ever come looking for handouts, like medical care or pensions or funding for brain injuries they got fighting for their country.)

Oh, and if our hired hands don’t shoot the bad guys for us, we will call them cowards. And if they come back and complain that they didn’t have enough equipment, bullets, people or plans to get the job done, we will call them cowards and traitors. We will sip our drinks, count our money and complain that nobody loves America anymore or is willing to fight for it. (Maybe we can get some of those illegal aliens in as ‘guest fighters.’ Bet they would kill the bad guys for us, as long as we don’t have to pay them too much and can make them leave after they are done. I hope we don’t have to pay for their funerals either. Why, oh why can’t we bring back slavery?)

*********************************************

Anybody else got a good answer to this.

If they're going to try and reduce this to a silly unrealistic analogy, might as well give them a dose of reality.

Can I steal your answer? Brilliant.

Maybe add something about the daughter getting raped by the bad guy and having to carry the pregnancy to term.

I work with my Republican Brother and Father, you can imagine what a joy that is. I get a lot of this type of crap. Seems everyone they know is a Republican too.

I am so sick of the liberal media comments, and they send examples of how this is true. The latest is a series of pictures of Muslim protesters holding up signs threatening to America. The comment is, "you don't see these pictures on today's liberal media." :puke:

Kool-Aid drinkers through and through, although both are unhappy with Bush and the current administration, but will be quick to point out they didn't like Clinton either, because of the blow job and the giving away of secret technology to the Chinese. The fact that Bush has killed thousands of our troops on a lie seems to escape them. They both still believe the war in Iraq needed to be fought.

I like your response, may I use it if I get the same message from a Repuke?

improve it, add to it, make it your own. (Gee, thanks, I'm honored.)

I get these things all the time from armchair warriers who see the call to arms, which they expect other people's children to answer.

BTW, the Congress cut the Brain Injury Research account from $14 million to $7 million last week. This money was to go to fund research into helping all the vets from Iraq with horrendous brain injuries due to IED explosions. Republicans are sick little bastards and need to be confronted on their lies and posturing.

Well done and right on the mark.

The email, on the other hand, was nauseating. These right wingers are just in love with bizarre fantasies of violent death.

What would a family be walking down a deserted street for? They're asking for it, you know. A nice white, middle-class, bible-toting family is asking for an Islamic terrorist to jump out at them with a knife rather than use their strapped on bomb.

:sarcasm:

Geez, anyone who buys into this drivel is truly stupid.

As for your question about how they'd know they were Islamic Terrorist, oh, you naive pup! Isn't it obvious? They were pajamas in the daytime and have dark skin. Why do you hate America?

People who respond to nonsense like this are not the type to read rebuttals with an open mind. They want their prejudices confirmed, and this does it for them. There is nothing you could say that would have the slightest effect on them. So why bother?

I bet he stops sending you those emails. Let us know what his response is...

found on a "deserted street" in the Middle East, and there's no way your rethuglican brother would be anywhere near the Middle East.

just the scenerios they choose to try to make some point. What's funny is they think it makes sense.

How about this? An oil executive is walking down the street with his arms filled with bags of money filled with the profits of all the oil companies. Blocking the sidewalk are hungry babies displaced by Hurricane Katrina (or Carina as Laura Bush thought). What does the executive do?

about the stench.

out of their misery and hope the strong ones get future jobs with big oil at less pay and fewer benefits than currnet numbers.

A dem would cry and see the way to better life.

I really wish they would give a complete picture before asking the question.

These things are designed to cement the 'common knowledge' about what Rethugs and Dems are like. (Not to mention the insult to Southerners.)

You respond because it lets them know that you aren't taking this crap from them anymore. Period.

...it looks good.

I just think "recruit" is too neutral a term to describe the current "making our numbers" practices in effect.

well taken. Thanks!

the cheerleading skirt of a connecticut prep-school sissy that is playing dressup as a cowboy.

I looked in my email this morning, before checking in to DU and my Rethug uncle sent me that email. I was fuming and stewing about it until I read your post. Great! This turd sends his crap out to all his knuckle dragging, mouth breathing, bedwetting neanderthal buddies and puts me on the list just to piss me off. Well I did a reply all and sent your response. Thanks.

In total shock that one of those "we fight over there so we don't have to fought them over here" is actually right in front of me, I step behind the wife and kids, attempt to draw the Glock whick gets entangled. I shoot myself through the leg and the bullet takes my kid's head off.

The foreign looking grocery clerk drops the celery stalk that had been left at the checkout inadvertently
and runs to call the police. I suddenly realize I am not high enough up in the party to even begin getting out of this one or even spinning it away in the local GOP slanted media.

Oh yeah, and look what those %^&$%%^ terrorists made me do to my kid.

The Democrat would not have carried a gun and like any other decent rational American would have held off the attacker while the family ran to safety. Because the GOP created this scenario it would be a helluva
situation to survive. He woud later curse himself for not being politically active enough to prevent this from happening.

Or. As the Dem readied for defense, he was mowed down by a "poorly aimed" fusillade of bullets from GOP bystanders. The terrorist would escape.

He then invites his "Islamo-fascist" buddy to the next series of secret energy policy development meetings.

The next days headline reads, "Arlen Specter vows to get to the bottom of Cheney's poor aim!"

and then robs the Asian convenience store, killing all the occupants in the process ...

If America would actually work impartially for a peaceful resolution regarding the palistinian crisis and the land grab of Israel - there would be no islamic terrorist threatening your family. End of story.

Sit and read a children's book for awhile, then shout that the terrorist is holed up in the local bank's vault. Raid it, loot it, go back home and buy a new yacht.

It had been slightly modified to make it an analogy to the War on Terror so I replied all (included in the original send was a guy at his church, and the church is a client of ours) and said something like:

Actually, the republican situation is more like, you take your family and walk down a street that you had been warned about at least three times, but you decided to ignore those warnings. Your family was attacked and killed by a mugger, who escaped. You promised to anyone who would listen that you would hunt down and find the killer of your family but for some odd reason, you started attacking a guy who was across the street when all this happened and had nothing to do with your family's murder. You eventually get that guy, and when asked about your family's actual murderer, you either change the subject or say that he's been marginalized and doesn't matter anymore. Every now and then you receive taunting letters and videos from the murderer, letting you know he's still free.

The boss (a republican) emailed back, "No more mass sends on political jokes," and had a talking to with the first guy but not me. :)

TlalocW

If and when I get anything back, I will include it. I love it! Thanks for putting that up.

That's what I thought pretty much as well as far as what a correct response would be...

Abdul... the Little Woman was talking about leavin' me and takin' the kids, but you scared her into thinkin' she needs me an' my Big Gun!"

And I don't miss them.



Since he's your brother, that might not work for you.

I have six brothers. Two are among the lost and listen to the Rethug lies. The other four are Dems or at least vote Dem.

This was nothing, you should have seen what I got back in late '02 and early '03 before the war. Now that was some mean, nasty, dow-low and dirty writing. The thing about family is, I can't get rid of him, but he also can't get rid if me. The rest of the family does listen. (And I'm winning, at least in terms of garnering votes.)

I would disarm the person and restrain them until the proper authorities got there. It's just a knife after all.

makes me laugh.
Poor delusional bastards.

That was a good answer!
They are tough nuts to crack- I am lucky that my whole family are good dems.

I received it from my freeper sister-in-law. I sent it back and asked he never to send me any more hate humor and it was pretty pathetic at that. She said she thought it was funny. I said if she thought I would think it was funny she was mistaken. She knows I am a Dem and I think she sent it by mistake and would not admit it. I finally blocked out her email and I got the last word in on the subject.

She was so incensed by my getting the last word and blocking her email that she refused to speak to me at her daughters wedding. Then again shortly after at a graduation party she made a jackass out of herself trying to keep her husband from chatting with me! ( I am certain she never mentioned the incident to him) It was pretty funny actually. As I left I had had just enough to drink to look at her and nice "nice talking to you Mary!" Laughed and left!

Repukes are morans!

:rofl:

Your reply was brilliant! I wish I had sent that to the freeper in law, though I am sure she would not get it!

Terror Terror......Dems are weak on fighting terror.

This whole thing with Lieberman and the terror alert played right into it like a Rove script.

Democrats HAVE to speak out now or we WILL not take control of either house. They're (republicans) are using the same old playbook but it is a winning strategy no matter how awful they are. They (Democrats) need to push back hard on Lieberman! It would be a damn shame to be defeated by one that was our own.

I really like this quote I saw from Wes Clark yesterday:

You see, despite what Joe Lieberman believes, invading Iraq and diverting our attention away from Al Qaeda and Osama bin Laden is not being strong on national security. Blind allegiance to George W. Bush and his failed "stay the course" strategy is not being strong on national security. And no, Senator Lieberman, no matter how you demonize your opponents, there is no "antisecurity wing" of the Democratic Party.

Now, I am sending this quote to my senators Durbin and Obama and begging them to develop talking points to use against Lieberman and the GOP. Yes they ARE one in the same now! WAKE UP DEMOCRATS!
Lieberman is a Rove wet dream! I know.....ewwwww....sorry for the imagery but if they don't push back on lieberman we are toast!

Assuming that such a ridiculous untrue caricature of a Democrat actually existed, he wouldn't be carrying a Glock, would he?

Any Republican that could afford a Glock would not be carrying it himself. Besides if they could afford a private security guard chances are they would not be the actual target. As one of the elite one percent they would have been warned to stay off the streets if there was real danger.

The actions described in the message is that of a Republican wannabe, not the real Republican gentry that is worried about the death tax.

I have a similar piece of shit brother and several in-laws. They all know better than to send me this sort of trash.

can get with a 9 round magazine. Most southerners would get the Model 22 with 17 round magazine.

magnet on your SUV / Hummer. :)

Republicans are too chickenshit to fire their own guns at people. Let's be real here.

You're answer was good. :D

They should have ommitted the "Islamic". Because not all terrorists are "Islamic". Belive it or not, RW bretheren, there are "Christian" terrorists (the KKK, the loons who bomb the abortion clinics, Timothy McVeigh, etc)...:eyes:

It would have to be Clinton's fault somehow.